Nothing but Trouble: The Volturi Twins
by crzzytn
Summary: Bella is returning to Forks after 126 yrs. She comes armed with her sidekick sister & a few other tricks up her sleeve. She's definitely not the same Bella that left. Rated T for language, just in case. 2nd part of NM didn't happen. BxE. R
1. Welcome to Forks

**_SM owns twilight and it's respective characters. _**

* * *

The memories hit me hard the second I saw that street sign. Stupid Forks. I wanted to be here now about as much as I did the last time I came. However, I was no longer silly-sweet-fragile-Bella. I quit being that person one hundred and twenty six years, six months, and nineteen days ago. Of course, then I went to broken-blank-catatonic-Bella. Then I found out I have several very diverse, easily distractible personalities. In six months I went on to become kill-the-redheaded-bitch-who-killed-my-father-and-damned-me-to-this-loneliness-for-eternity-Bella. I so did. Ripped her shred to shred as slow as possible . Then I sat there laughing while she burned. Then I got bored and reverted to live-in-the-meadow-for-twenty-six-years-like-an-insane-lunatic-Bella. It was nice.

"Thinking about Idiot? Or narrating your own life again?" My oh-so-subtle sister asked as she popped my little crazy Bella bubble.

"Eh, a little of both I guess. How about you, twin? All excited you get to bust out the slutiness without Uncle catching on to everything?"

She just giggled. Knowing her I was right. So I giggled back.

Nico is my best friend. I owe all too much to my baby sister. She found me as crazy-meadow-Bella and without her I would've never found my family. Maybe eventually, since it was my idea and not hers, but not before another fifty years or so of crazy-meadow-Bella. Without her it would've have been a much less pleasant experience. Lucky us, Daddy was impressed by our charm, our bond, and our resemblance to his late wife. Uncle was impressed with our abilities. Jerky was just amused with the entire situation and found the story of crazy meadow Bella quite funny. They all thought our 'spunk' was pretty humorous too. We just kind of walked into Volterra one day and told the secretary we had a meeting with the brothers. She immediately accepted that her weak human mind simply forgot it and set up the meeting. When the time came we waltzed in there, smiles plastered on our faces, and told them we wanted their last name. They were nowhere near as amused as us and twenty times more confused. When we finally finished laughing we explained that we hoped to join the guard and demonstrated our abilities. Daddy, however, decided he wanted to keep us. Another round of confusion came and went and within an hour we became Isabella and Nicolette Volturi. Okay, more technically we became Isabella Marie Swan Volturi and Nicolette Isabella Dwyer Volturi, Princesses of Volterra.

We are true vampire royalty.

"True royalty about to attend freaking Forks High School." Nico grumpily stated.

_Out of my head, Twin. Not my fault._

"I'm not the reason they had to get a new pool"

_No. You're the reason they had to reconstruct an entire wing._

She giggled. "Who put the whoopee cushion under Jerky, Twin?"

_Rearranging all the books in the library?_

"So I organized them by scent, and? I never changed all the locks in the castle without giving anyone a key"

_No you didn't, we did. _I giggled this time.

And so the conversation went for a few more minutes as we drove through my hometown. We were in hysterics by the time we finally pulled into the drive of whatever Daddy had decided would be a suitable home for us. The second I looked up, however, I stopped breathing.

..GOD.

..GOD.

"Nicolette…"

She squealed. "Daddy and I talked about it after we got to Volterra. He wanted to keep it for you. I believe you are now…" She thought for a moment, "Your niece's great, great, great, great granddaughter."

I was stunned.

Not a second too late, my cell started ringing.

"Daddy!" I squealed, "Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!"

He chuckled.

"You're very welcome Isabella. This is for you and Nicolette both now. We, of course, had to make a few additions to make it suitable for my only daughters to live in. The original rooms are untouched though so you may do what you see fit there."

"Thank you so much. This is unbelievable! How come you never told me?"

"Well it was a surprise we had saved up for this very special day." He replied. Crazyoldvampiresaywhat? "Happy Birthday Isabella"

Oh. Yay.

It so wasn't even my real birthday. I have four birthdays. Yea, it gets confusing.

We wrapped up the conversation after I thanked him a hundred more times and we finally went inside to explore.

Everything was the same as the day I left. Well, except somebody was nice enough to clean up Charlie's blood from the floor. That was nice. I didn't need _that _reminder. Though I should have known when he said "suitable" he meant buying out both of our neighbors, adding two wings, a third floor, a swimming pool, a hot tub, and a privacy fence. Go figure though, that is so Daddy.

It didn't take long for us to settle into the swimming pool and discuss our plans for the following day. We would start off as sophomores.

How unbelievably exciting.

"Oh, you're not going to do the sarcastic-emo-Bella are you?" asked Nicolette. Being nosy again I guess.

"Maybe for a day. I was thinking I would stick with there-are-too-many-Bellas-to-keep-track-of-anymore-Bella. That could work out amusing."

"Yes, indeed. We should try not to get suspended though. Daddy's already pretty upset about the two hundred and sixty seven tutors that quit."

"Not my fault they were all dumber than a box of rocks." I retorted.

* * *

**Who's the baby daddy? You should be able to figure it out. If not, shame on you. **

**Review. **

**:-)**


	2. Gangsters, Mathmatics, and Formalities

The next morning we were none too surprised to find our closets well beyond stocked. I would definitely have to call Heidi and Jane later and thank them. Although what the hell we were supposed to do with our robes down here I didn't know. THAT must have came from Daddy. He's such a silly vampire sometimes.

"Damnit I-sizzle you need to get down here so we can get to school! I want to be early and check out the humans."

"Sheesh I'm coming N-Unit. Heidi didn't send much to work with in this category." We were dressing accordingly for day one of our split personality twins act. After a little more searching I found something that would suffice. I threw on some black cargos, a dark purple tank, and of course, my chain with the large pendant. Not really gangster considering it was the family crest but the humans would never know. I threw on some oversized diamond earrings that I was sure would be considered fake and left my wing of the house. When I got downstairs I realized that, as usual, Nico and I pretty much matched. We were wearing matching cargos and our chains were identical. The only differences were her red tank and ruby earrings.

"Whose car, twin?" She asked.

"The Lexus would work for today I think. It's black on black and the system has a little more bass. The gold and diamond rims aren't going to hurt either. I guess it works out nice for today that you're a little overindulgent doesn't it?" I giggled but she just smirked at me and grabbed her keys.

It took only a few minutes to arrive at the school. It had been updated slightly but it appeared that it was the only thing in this town that had changed even a little. I sighed as we got out of the car and headed across the all too familiar campus. As we stepped inside the office we sighed simultaneously and walked towards the desk. Time to work our magic. I glanced at the woman's nameplate. Mrs. Crowley. Hmm… Interesting enough. No doubt the relation. In this small town I doubted anyone hardly got out.

"Mrs. Crowley? I'm Isabella and this is my sister Nicolette. I believe you are expecting us? My father said he set everything up last week." She glanced up at me and her thoughts were racing a mile a minute and even I could hardly understand them.

Something about not breaking her son's heart?

Puhlease.

Well, okay, maybe.

That was kind of our style.

"Yes dear, here are your schedules. Just get them signed and bring them back at the end of the day." I glanced at the schedule. Oh, no. This would never do.

"Mrs. Crowley? I thought my father had talked to the administration about this already. My sister has a very rare blood disorder and we are supposed to share the same classes. I would know what to do if a situation ever arises." Out of the corner of my eye I saw Nico's lips twitching. I thought she would like that one.

"Oh, of course dear. I'm sure he did mention it. Things have been a little hectic around here with it only being the second week of school. How about you both use your schedule and I will change it in the computer later today? I wouldn't want you to be late to class. Go along, I'm sure you girls will fit right in around here." _Or not. _

"Nice afterthought lady." I mumbled too low for her to hear and me and Twin walked out of the office giggling.

Sophomore math. Sigh. Could anything be less interesting? Doubtful. We roamed campus for a good fifteen minutes, intentionally making ourselves late. Original Bella wouldn't have wanted the attention but gangster Bella ate it up. One hundred years of reveling in it was enough make the seventeen years of avoiding it just look silly. Just before we entered we hooked up our twin vibe and matched up our steps.

Mr. Whatever-his-name-is seemed to think it was quite cute. That wasn't our angle at all. We stopped about a foot from his desk and placed our left hands on our hips and extended our slips with our right hands.

"Hello." I said

"We're new" Nico followed up quickly flowing it into one sentence.

"We're supposed to get you to."

"sign these before class is over. Where"

"should we sit? "

"Ah, you must be Isabella and Nicolette."

"No, she goes by N-Unit."

"and she goes by I-sizzle."

His eyes slanted. My lips started to twitch slightly but I held back the fit of giggle threatening to erupt.

"Sorry we're late." Nico started again.

"We got a little lost" I continued.

"It won't happen again."

"Well, um, Miss and Miss Volturi, take a seat in the back." I heard a slight gasp come from the back of the room. Yea, we're stunning, we know.

We turned and walked towards our seats while searching for the gasper. We'd already wasted a little over three minutes talking to Mr. Probably-not-even-qualified-to-teach-this-class and it was time to start our fun. Nico looked to the left side and I looked to the right. We split it up so we only took one quick glance each - we had to in order to maintain our image of thinking we were superior gangsters to anyone in the room.

_Hey I-sizzle._

_Yes, Twin_

_I founder our gasper._

_Describe._

_Vampire._

_Huh. Further explanation please N-Unit._

_Boy._

_Good._

_Blonde._

_Better._

_Dangerous looking. Scarred from left to right, up to down, and then all around again in circles._

_Danger is good. _

_His eyes match ours._

_Even better. _

_He'll be one row behind us. Be slow picking up after class._

We sat down. We don't look at other people - that's not how we work. So I would wait to see him when he walked by later. Until then just friendly, twinly, conversation. Ok more like games. Whichever.

_Hey twin. _I called.

_Yes, my fairest sister._

_What is two plus four again? I can never get this right._

_I believe it is six, dear sister._

_Thank you. You're a life saver. I have no idea how I would pass this class without you._

_I know, lovely sister, consider yourself lucky._

_Hey twin._

_Yes, Isabella. _

_Purple titnickles._

And then she erupted in giggles. I win.

"Something you'd like to share with the class, twins?"

"Well…" She hesitated. My own lips were threatening to smirk now. Damnit. " We we're discussing how lucky we were to have such a handsome teacher. That's all." She replied coolly.

Then he blushed, hesitated, and tripped somewhere in the two feet in between the board and his desk.

_Score is one to one then, correct twin?_

I nodded slightly. The rest of the class we played chess in our head. Each time one of us would lose we would let out a growl of frustration. Luckily they were quiet enough that no one noticed. Except the vampire bad boy behind us maybe, which we didn't mind because we were pretty confident it only confused him further. The bell rang an annoyingly loud shriek and we oh-so-slowly began to pack up. Right on cue vampire bad boy walked up to our desk.

"Hello. Welcome to Forks. I'm Jasper Hale."

Pause everything. Nico looked at me with a confused frown.

_Twin , wanna let me know what's going on with the whole time restraint? I kind of want to get to know vampire bad boy here._

_Sorry. Needed a minute. What did he say his name was again? _Like I missed it.

_Jasper Hale._

_Shit._

_What is it twin? _

_That's not his name. _

_So he lied? That's not very polite. Why would he do such a thing? _

_Well, that's the name he uses at school I'm sure, but it's not his real name._

_No?_

I shook my head. _That, dear sister, is Jasper Whitlock or Jasper Cullen. Depending on the era, of course._

_Like Jasper Whitlock from Maria's army? Like Jasper Cullen, Edward's brother?_

_Yes and Yes. The pause is about to fade. Play along. Careful though, he's a very good emo kid._

And Unpause.

"Nice to meet you Jasper. I am I-sizzle and this is my twin N-unit." I picked up the conversation without any apparent hesitation.

"Uh-huh. Well, I would like to welcome you, of course, but I would like for you to meet my family if you have any intentions of staying in the area for a while." Fuck. Then he whispered, "Did you bring any family with you?"

Scared, Whitlock? This could be an amusing three years.

"No, all of our family is in Italy. We brought no one with us." I whispered before picking up with a louder, "We would love to."

Nico took her cue and whispered. "Write down the address and slip it into locker 231. We will come by after school. I've heard rumors you are not the only ones we need to meet with, correct?" He nodded. "How large is your coven?"

"My family has seven members right now, we were up to eight for a while but we lost one quite some time ago. It is my parents, myself and my mate, along with two brothers and a sister."

"Well, I'm sure you know plenty about our family. I assure you, however, we are not here for any other reason than being too rambunctious in the castle." I spoke, Nico giggled. "We are by no means members of the guard and do not wish do disrupt your lives."

"Well then, girls, thank you for reassuring me. I will spread the word to my siblings not to freak out when they hear your last name if you happen to share any classes with them. I will see you after school, if not sooner."

"Goodbye Jasper. By the way. It's N-Unit and I-sizzle." Nico managed to say during giggles.

* * *

**So Jazz makes an appearance. Duh. What would it be without the Cullens? **

**Bella. That's what it would be. **

**And Nico. Who kicks ass. But still. **

**I could just do a few one-shots if all I planned on doing was talking about their antics. **

**That's a good idea I think.**

**Review, Please. **


	3. Meet the Izzles

Luckily Art, Gym, and Sophomore Literature passed by with no signs of a Cullen. I was not looking forward to having one every class so it made my day considerably better that I didn't. In the short time span of an hour and a half we received six teacher glares, two new books, and one detention a piece. We were actually doing quite well.

However, those stubborn human teachers were refusing to call us by our self assigned nicknames and it was getting annoying. So far we've been called Miss and Miss Volturi (first block), I & N (second), Twin 1 and Twin 2 (third), and the Volturis (fourth). The art teacher is the only one who played along with our nicknames but she made it very clear that she would not be saying 'I-Sizzle' or 'N-Unit' so we took what we could get. We actually liked her a little and were happy that we had at least one decent instructor. We probably wouldn't learn anything but she was still cool. When we got our third-block-substitute-nicknames we wasted the first half of the class period arguing over which one of us got to be Twin 2. Not that we really cared. It got us a detention though. We spent the last half of gym sitting on the bleachers, back to back with our heads on each other's shoulders, staring at the ceiling. And playing poker in our minds. Which of course, neither of us ever won because we made up the cards as we went. Obviously. Our uncreative literature teacher was the one to come up with the ingenius 'the Volturis'. We gave him some credit for not bothering to seperate our names after he quickly realized we would always answer in unison. He lost the credit quick though and we were on the verge of getting another detention by the time we left there. Teachers seriously do not like smart students. It's totally not our fault he kept misquoting the classics. If these kids are here to learn they should learn the right stuff, right? So we correct him. Like seventeen and a half times (okay, and twice in the syllabus.) Nothing to get all emotional about.

Now we were taking our time to get to history class. We really wanted to make sure we were late to each class today so we didn't set expectations too high. We picked up on Jasper's scent before we even got into the classroom and casually strolled in, arms around each other's waists and heads tilted together, gave our 'we got lost' excuse, and took our seats.

"Ladies, nice of you to join us." Jasper said, too low for others to hear.

"Thanks, Jarizzle." I replied without looking back towards him. Like I said, looking isn't our style.

"What did you call me?" He asked.

"You looked a little lost in the nickname game so we decided to include you." We hadn't _actually_ decided any such thing but it wasn't like a major decision or anything.

"Ooh I want in!" An all to familiar voice bubbled from the seat next to Jarizzle.

"Um. I'm not sure, I mean we haven't really gotten to know each other yet." I replied. Yet / Again. Same thing.

"Well how do you know Jasper? You're letting him play." She retorted.

"First period, of course." Nico stated. "Besides, we don't even know your name so a nickname would be impossible at this point."

"Alice."

_Hey Twin _

_Yes Bella?_

_You should know that she probably already knows who we are. If not, then she will soon. _

_Gotcha. I'll remember that. We're still denying it right?_

_Oh yea. Deny it ,like you would deny sleeping with Felix _

_Okay, but that's still our secret right?_

_Of course. _

And then I had an epiphany.

"Okay A-dizzle. You're in. On one condition though."

"And what would that be?" She replied nonchalantly.

"We're going shopping when we leave your house this evening. We need to pick up a few things for our new house and you look like you might know what you're doing."

I literally heard her straight face break into a genuine Alice smile.

"That's not really much of a condition," She giggled. "I would be happy to go with you."

"Um, Alice…" Jasper started but I quickly interrupted.

"It's A-dizzle, Jarizzle. And I'm not going to kidnap her. Promise. You can come if it would make you feel better but I'm going to warn you it will probably be an all night thing. Me and N-Unit can do some serious shopping and it doesn't look like A-dizzle here is much better."

Jarizzle still seemed extremely hesitant.

We finally convinced him that while we probably were crazy, we were most definitely not crazy guard members coming to kidnap A-dizzle. Seriously, would we have went by Volturi? No. We went by Volturi because it was our last name not because we did their dirty work. Also, the guard members would never be able to act this way in public and get away with it. We, on the other hand, could institute _'The Volturi Church of Sparkling Vampires'_ and get away with it. And _THEN_ convince Daddy and our uncles to change our human congregation instead of killing them. Jasper got a kick out of the thought of a dozen newborns running around the castle.

We have always been one step ahead though, and chose our followers carefully. We didn't actually expect to be allowed to keep a church but we didn't want to get a bunch of people killed either. Those twelve people became some of the strongest members of the guard in just a few short years.

_So we're going shopping Bella?_

_I guess so. We really do need to get the rest of the house together and I'm almost positive Alice will be the first to figure it out. _

_So are you going to tell her?_

_Probably not. I'm considering it. Maybe. Who knows. Probably. Most likely. I do miss her. A lot._

_That hurts, Indecisive-abandonment-issues-Bella, it really hurts. _

_I'm sorry. I still love you, twin. You're irreplaceable. _

_Thanks, twin._

A-dizzle and Jarizzle talked quietly to themselves for the rest of the period while Nico and I listened in. Eavesdropping doesn't really apply when people are making no point to hide their conversation from the two vampires in the row in front of them. Not in my head anyways.

Alice was whispering to Jasper while I was playing a friendly game of never ending Uno in my head with Nico. I snapped out of the game as soon as I heard Jasper saying, "go see Carlisle on lunch so there's no surprises." Go where to see who? That means it would only be the other three here. Well that's no good. "We also need to call Jacob to let him know what is going on and arrange a meeting." Jacob. My Jacob? It would make sense, he was supposed to be alpha, but he was also supposed to be dead. Not that I wanted it that way - I just assumed that he died trying to kill Victoria. Okay, I didn't so much assume as she told me she killed him when he attacked her. I couldn't exactly go to LaPush and check. This whole situation was starting to get confusing and I needed some answers. So I, being respectful and pleasant as ever, interrupted.

"Hey Jarizzle, since apparently you two are ditching lunch anyways I think we should go meet with the wolves. I wouldn't want to cause any problems around here. Can I get a name and phone number, please?"

He looked shocked. I don't know why, we already established the fact that I'm crazy, so it wasn't exactly out of character for me to go play in the woods with the werewolves.

"Um, sure…I…Sizzle." He scribbled on a piece of paper, "Here's the number. Ask for Jacob Black. He is the Alpha of the pack so he would be the one you need to speak to."

Descendant maybe? That would make sense too but I couldn't help but ask.

"I need to know how many young wolves are we going to be dealing with. We might be crazy but we don't have a death-again wish."

"None actually. There are four in the pack. Jacob, Seth, Leah, and Embry. They've all been around for well over a century though. They can easily control their tempers." As soon as he finished his sentence my thoughts when chaotic.

OH.

MY.

GOD.

JACOB. SETH. EMBRY. LEAH.

THEY'RE ALL STILL HERE.

NEED TO LEAVE.

NEED TO SEE JAKE.

NEED TO THINK.

LIKE SMART VAMPIRE.

NOT LIKE CAVE-HUMAN.

_Twin._

_Glad to see you've resumed the use of the other 92 percent of your brain confused-cavehuman-Bella._

_Do something for your blood sickness we need to get out of here._

With no questions asked she fainted. I quickly pawned it off that we needed to get to the medical equipment at home and asked Mr. Everything-I-know-came-out-of-this-very-textbook to inform our last few teachers we would not be back today. The I turned around to Jarizzle and A-dizzle.

"There's no way I can carry her like this. Do you think you two could help me out?"

Quickly they agreed and Mr. Whatever excused them for the rest of the day as well. Within minutes we were walking through the parking lot towards our cars at an annoyingly slow pace trying to look awkward. After all, the three of us were carrying my twin sister to her car, who was supposedly unconscious and dead weight even though she was laying across our arms with a big stupid grin on her face while mumbling something about royalty and servants.

After we got to her car we slid her in the passenger seat (for appearances - I've got it on good word that unconscious people do not drive very well) and went to leave.

Nico spoke up, "A-dizzle, thank you so much I was quite bored in there. We'll see you in a little while." Then she looked straight at Jarizzle and said, "Don't forget the fans next time, poolboy, okay?" and with that Jarizzle growled, A-dizzle laughed, and we left.

* * *

**So, Bella's off to see her bestie. **

**If you want to know more about the backbone of the story, feel free to ask. **

**I doubt I know the answer. **

**But I'll probably have fun making it up. **


	4. Idiot Jake and Seth the Jerk

I drove the short distance back to our house with Nicolette in the passenger seat playing damsel in distress and whining about how she's going to die. Typical.

"Nicolette, I don't know exactly how to say this to you. I.. I.." I began to stutter. "The doctors honey, they don't give you much time."

"How long, sister, how long until the end of my sweet existence?" She asked nervously.

"Well, sweet Nicolette, they're only giving you another hundred years or so. Give or take six months." And then we both broke down into fake sobs.

Lame, I know. Eternity gets a little boring. We decided to call Daddy and let him know about our first day at school. Not that he really cared about the school part. He was interested in our meetings with the Cullens and the wolves. He knew the wolves would most likely be around, or spring up soon after our arrival, but he hadn't known the Cullens would be here too. That amused him. Ass. I was finally let off the phone with strict orders to keep up formalities with the wolves, at least until they knew who I was, and to not kill ANY of Carlisle's children. (Yes, I checked, that includes Edward too. Apparently he still considers Carlisle too good a friend for that.) I couldn't even do it ACCIDENTALLY!

The next call to place was to Jacob. Nico did the honors this time around -I probably would've broke down for real if I had to do it. She explained that we were a small coven of two that had recently settled into Forks and we would like to meet the pack to get familiar with the Cullen's treaty and sign it. Then he gave her directions to the treaty line, which I didn't need, and said he would meet us in half an hour. We removed our 'bling' and added black sweaters and smaller necklaces with smaller pendants. Keeping up formalities. I didn't mind looking crazy to the Cullens but that's not the first impression we want the wolves to have. Not before they knew who I was anyway.

Twenty minutes later we were standing at the treaty line waiting on the wolves.

Five minutes after that they showed up. Leah and Embry in wolf form and Jake and Seth in human form. I'm guessing they were trying to maintain even numbers to avoid violence. They really have changed. We did all the introductions, introducing ourselves only as the Volturi twins, and discussed the details of the treaty. Which I already knew. I didn't tell them that of course, 'cause I'm a sucker for a big finish. Several boring details later they handed us an old piece of parchment dating back over two hundred years ago and an old fashioned pen and ink. Yea, a freaking feather pen.

I signed first, after telling Nicolette silently to follow my cue. We placed our names under the Denali's (which I would so have to ask about later) and I smiled as I handed it back to Jake. He glanced it over and read the last two lines of script:

Princess Isabella Marie Swan Volturi

Princess Nicolette Isabella Dwyer Volturi

Then, within a second, he tackled me in a big wolfy man hug.

"Damnit Jacob, are you going to start licking my face now too?" I asked sarcastically, even though I was just as thrilled as he was.

That left Seth, Leah, and Embry confused as all hell. Until Seth picked up the delicate, centuries old parchment that had been carelessly thrown to the ground and read the last two lines out loud.

Then I had Jake, Seth, naked Leah, and naked Embry on top of me.

And Seth licked my face.

Jerk.

Guess they haven't changed that much.

When they finally got off of me I spoke up, "So I see you two gave up on the modesty huh? The look suits you," I said pointing to Leah and Embry who immediately looked at each other, then down, and then ran back into the woods.

The remaining four of us were laughing uncontrollably for the next sixty seconds or so. Then there were only two of us. When Seth and I finally stopped rolling in the dirt giggling like schoolgirls we focused our attention back to our small crowd. Where Jacob and Nico stood staring at each other grinning like idiots.

"JAKE! You are dumber than me sometimes do you know that?"

He looked at me, shocked for a moment, and then started playing twenty questions.

"So, Princess, where'd you get the fancy title?"

"The Volturi"

"Okay, smartass. I got that. Let me rephrase, how did you get it?"

"We asked for it." We replied simultaneously.

"Simple enough answer. You two know each other how?"

"She's my twin." Simultaneously again.

"Obviously not originally though, so explain."

"I got this, Twin," I said to Nico before looking back at Jake. "We are twins. During our human life we were half sisters. Renee and Phil had her about a year after Charlie died and I 'died'. Talk about replacement therapy, right?"

"Sorry again Twin," Nico interrupted.

"No big, Twin, I love them even more for it now. Anyways. The reason she's my twin is because she basically went through the same thing I did. That whole heartbreak by a mysterious creature thing. Except this idiot fell for a werewolf… Can you believe that? Of all things, a werewolf. At least I went the smart route to getting my heart broken. Anyways, Nico here being the drama queen she is, couldn't settle for things being just a little ridiculous."

"Not my fault, Twin" She interrupted again.

"I know, I know, but compared to you I got off easy. Keep in mind, all this happened in freaking-sunshine-and-orange-juice Florida of all places. Which apparently has an abundance of mythical idiots. So Idiot2 imprinted on Nico's best friend. Which sucks enough, right? A few months later Nico finds Renee and Phil in basically the same situation I found Charlie. Turns out, best friend's boyfriend was vampire who decided since Idiot2 got sucky-best-friend-2, he was going to keep Nico here to replace her."

"Then I woke up and ripped him to pieces." She said proudly.

"Didn't burn him though, so who knows what happened after that." I continued.

"I had no way of knowing. I didn't know anything about any of this until after I woke up. I went solely off instinct. My instinct provided absolutely no inclinations towards fire."

"Duh, Twin." I stated. "So here we are. Half-sisters, turned twins. Besides we look too much alike for anyone to argue.

"Were you in Florida when you found her?" Jake asked.

"Actually, she found me. Thanks, again, Twin. Like seven years later she found me in the woods around here being all crazy-meadow-Bella and slapped some sense into me. Six months later we were in Italy."

"Crazy-meadow-Bella?"

"A story for another day Jake. We have to go over to the Cullen's and not let them know who we are. I'd rather do that before the others got back from school. You know, cause they might figure it out if windows start breaking and shit starts flying at Edward's head, don't you think?"

All four of them started laughing at that and agreed. I gave Jake my number and told him we were back at my old house. He told me that Nico and myself (emphasizing he meant just us) would be allowed across the line anytime as long as we called first and were escorted.

Ha, we so one-upped the Cullens.

* * *

**Seriously? Bella and Jake would never hate each other. They're best friends. Always, right? **

**I Love me some reviews.**


	5. Head Huddle

So over a century later I was on my way to the Cullen's again. Except this time it wasn't home. This time they weren't my family. This time I wasn't toy-Bella.

"N-Unit, head huddle," I said quietly as we got closer.

_Hola, Twin. Why the head huddle?_

_We need to. Anytime we're around the Cullens we need to huddle up._

_Why so?_

_Duh, Twin, Duh. The mindfreak, the emo, and the fortune cookie._

_You're right. Major duh. Don't categorize them though, that is not very nice. We know them. _

_And?_ Where is she going with this?

_Use their names._

_Whatever then. Idiot 1, Jarizzle, and A-dizzle. Remember though, we can't connect with them either or they'll know exactly what's going on. I'm not ready for that yet. And we definitely don't want to go all emo all of a sudden. We definitely don't need THAT right now._

_I disagree, Twin. _She's gone insane.

_Why. _I thought curiously.

_I'm not insane. Emo could be fun. We're going to be emo tomorrow I think. You got to pick today. _

_True. Emo could be fun for a day. We need nicknames. I want to keep up the charade for a while. _

_Okay… You are Isette. I'm Nabel. _

_The others? _

_Oh right. This is going to be even more fun now! Let's see… Alice will be Jace. Jasper will be Aler. _

_Okay. Rosalie will be Emlie. Emmett will be Romme. We can't tell them their nicknames though I mean that would spoil the fun. Maybe A-dizzle, but that's it._

_You're forgetting one, twin. _Is she on crack? I'm not putting any effort into a nickname for him.

_No I'm not. We're going to call him Idiot 1, as usual._

_No we're not that would give away our secret language. We're going to call him Edsty. _I guess as long as she's the on putting the effort in.

_Edsty?_ I asked.

_Well, yea. He's always all angst-y and emo from what I've heard. A-dizzle and Jarizzle thought nothing to contradict that either._

_Um. Sort of I guess. If we knew his mate's name, the one that isn't with them anymore, we could have more fun…_

_You're an idiot twin. And no, it would suck. For me._

_Explain._

_Nuh uh. Hop into a head and figure it out yourself. It's pretty much all over the place. The two I met so far are pretty shaken up by it still. _

_I don't want to do that. Invasion of privacy._

_Suite yourself. What about Carlisle and Esme?_

_Wasn't planning on seeing them tomorrow._

_Not tomorrow, twin, today. _

_Oh. Duh, thanks twin. Carizzle and Esizzle._

_What if we run into the others?_

_R-dizzle, Em-dizzle_

_And…_

_E-dog. _That one came out with a smile. I didn't mind putting effort into that one. He's going to hate it.

* * *

**So it's a short chapter. Why?**

**Because I've decided these two are crazy. I wanted to get inside their heads a little more without all of the distractions of other people. **

**Yep. **

**Reviewsies. **


	6. No Way Jose

We stepped out of the forest and walked towards the stupid door of the stupid mansion with enough time left that no one new should be home before we leave. Hopefully. Of course, before we could knock the door was answered. (thankfully by Alice.)

"A-dizzle!" Nico squealed. "Where's Jarizzle?!"

"Calm down N-Unit you're going to scare them away," I said oh-so-smoothly.

"Never, you guys crack me up. I'm not used to having anyone around who can keep up with me." Alice giggled.

"Things are about to get intense around here I can tell. I think I'm going to go hunt before the energy starts multiplying around here." We heard from a male voice somewhere behind Alice.

In unison we both shouted, "Jarizzle!" and ran inside tackling him to the ground, laughing so loud we nearly DID break windows. We stopped immediately when we heard someone clearing their throat. We looked up to see my former could-have-one-day-been-in-laws feigning disappointment and A-dizzle swearing in the background that she and Jarizzle really did just meet us today. We stood up at the same time and matched our steps as we walked over to them. It would be rude of us not to introduce ourselves, right?

So I said, "Hello, I'm I-sizzle."

And she said, "Hello, I'm N-Unit."

And together we said, "You must be Carizzle and Esizzle, correct?"

And then A-dizzle and Jarizzle fell to the floor laughing while mom and pop tried to hide their twitching lips. They lost that battle though and within minutes they were close to the same positions as the first two.

As they tried to recompose themselves we did the only logical thing we could think of and looked at them like they were all idiots. Carlisle and Esme finally stood up. The other two decided to sit apparently.

"Yes, yes I guess that would be us. Normally we go by Carlisle and Esme but I assume that's not your style is it?" He asked- still holding an amused expression on his face.

"No sir," We replied – with equally amused expressions.

"Well can I ask – just so I know – what your given names are, I-sizzle and N-Unit?" I cannot believe Carlisle just said I-sizzle and N-Unit.

"We are the Volturi Twins sir. That's all you're getting out of us though. No first names, we don't like them." He just stared at us.

"The Volturi Twins?" Carizzle asked, emphasizing the first word.

We just plastered on big stupid grins and nodded. Then Carizzle – and him alone – fell to the floor with a rather Emmett-like laughter. This time everyone looked at him like he was an idiot. It wasn't until he managed to start choking out words through the laughter that Nico and I understood.

….

….

….

JAS.

….

PER.

….

….

YOU.

….

HAD.

….

….

ME.

….

….

….

WORRIED.

Twin and I turned our heads in sync to look at Jasper. She mean-mugged him and I pouted.

"Didn't believe us Jarizzle?" We asked while Nico played mad and I played sad.

He looked scared.

Terrified even.

"Girls, it's lovely to have you here. Do you mind if I explain to my son here what is going on before he manages to have a heart attack?" Carlisle asked after finally getting off the floor.

"Of course, Carizzle. We tried to explain to him that we weren't in any way part of the guard. Nor were we here to try to kidnap A-dizzle," I said as we both glared to look at Jasper, "I figured he wouldn't buy that. I see though that word has got around about us and you will be able to un-freak him out a little."

"See Jarizzle, we're not stealing anyone." Nico said, still playing mad.

"Of course, Daddy, and Uncle, and that other man that sits on the other side of Uncle say hello. Wish you well, etc. Come join the guard, all of you, please, please, please. I'm sure you know the drill by now." I said. I had to get that formality out of the way.

Carlisle just nodded, obviously amused again, and said, "Pass my well wishes to your father and uncles as well and tell them that while I appreciate the generous offer, I have no intentions of returning as of right now."

"Okay Carizzle. For future reference though if it's me asking, I'll totally take a 'No way Jose' for an answer and just relay it the proper way." Nico said. "A-dizzle? Jarizzle?"

This time they spoke in unison with an overly dramatic, "No way Jose," that would later become a polite decline when I retell the story.

The Jarizzle went back to being Jasper and croaked out an, "Um…"

_I see he's the sophisticated one, twin, Is that why Maria chose him?_

_Normally he is, twin, I think we scared him._

_That's sweet._

_So it is. _

So we all sat down and began talking. Carlisle was happy to inform Jarizzle why he had ABSOLUTELY no reason to worry. He told them about the better well known things like when we replaced the entire guard's robes with hot pink ones or Nico blowing up an entire wing of the castle just because Felix wouldn't leave her alone. It was an accident, of course. Then we were of course happy to tell them little stories such as library reorganization methods or changing the locks in the castle. Once again, because Felix wouldn't leave Nico alone.

Finally, finally, finally, Jarizzle was convinced we wouldn't steal A-dizzle and we started to leave. I'm pretty sure he was still worried about her going to mall jail or something, but he obviously didn't know how seriously we took our shopping.

We left asking Carizzle and Esizzle to please tell R-dizzle, Em-dizzle, and E-dog we said hello and hope to meet them tomorrow.

* * *

**No. They don't take the Volturi seriously.**

**They practically run it.**


	7. Don't Drive the Volturi Broke

Seattle is the only place within driving distance that I liked to shop. We're a bunch of sillies sometimes because we really hadn't thought we'd need to bring the flying machine. Although, knowing Daddy we have a landing pad on the roof 'just in case'. So Seattle it is.

"So A-dizzle," Nico said, "We have a plan. It's top-secret though. We need to know that you're okay with reciting crap in your head for an undetermined amount of time before we can tell you."

Alice's eyes lit up. One hundred years or not I still know Alice. I know she can't stand to not know a secret. It's unnatural to her.

"I've got about two centuries worth of practice. I think I'll be fine."

"So we're not completely insane. We just get bored easily. We're not really gangsters but I'm sure you've figured that part out already. This is what we call the-crazy-multiple-personality-twins act. So tomorrow we'll be something different."

"Okay. Why is that a secret?"

"If everyone knows it takes all the fun out of it. Today we had a new idea. You need to go in on it for it to work though."

"What do you need me to do?"

"We want to drag you're entire family into our scheme but without them knowing. I'm certain you can convince them to wear what we need but they cannot know why. Tomorrow at school we, as in you, me, and I-sizzle, are going to start referring to them by their new nicknames. We absolutely cannot tell them what they're for."

"Sounds easy enough. What are we tomorrow then?"

"Emo. Then in first period, and no sooner, we need to convince Jarizzle to send out the dark and moody vibes throughout the day."

Alice giggled, "This is going to be fun. I think Edward and Rose are going to be the most irritated."

"Well Rose we can handle. As long as we stick together anyways. Edwards pretty much emo already isn't he?"

"Sort of. He has his reasons."

"Does it have anything to do with the eight coven member that isn't with you anymore?" Way to be subtle Nico.

"She wasn't a coven member, she was my sister, but yes. It has everything to do with her."

Ow.

"Jasper said she'd been gone a while. He isn't over it yet?"

_Wrong move, twin. Way wrong. What the hell are you trying to pull?_

_Patience, twin_. Then she winked. She freaking winked at me with Alice growling in the back seat.

"SHE WAS ONE OF THE BEST THINGS TO EVER HAPPEN TO THIS FAMILY!"

"I'm sorry Alice, please excuse my sister, she's a bit shallow and not very understanding sometimes." I interrupted. "I know what it's like to lose a sister and I'm sorry you had to go through that."

She started sobbing.

_Great, twin, make Alice dry cry. Way to go.._

_Sorry._ She wasn't though.

"It's just we've all missed her terribly and would give up anything to have her back. He only makes it harder on the rest of us. We never talk about her because we don't want him taking off again. We can't even think about her when he's around. He still looses it every time he hears her name. It's been almost one hundred and twenty seven years since he left her. Within months she was murdered and he wasn't even there to hear the news. Or attend the services. It took us twenty eight years to find him and tell him. It took seven years before he gave up on his suicide missions. He still can't hardly handle day to day. He just sits there and stares out the window mostly. He hates himself for lying to her. He hates himself for letting her die thinking he didn't love her. He hates himself because he blames himself. If he were there he could've stopped it. We all think we could've stopped it."

"Wow. I'm sorry Alice really. We knew about the suicide attempts. We never knew why though"

"Isabella Marie Swan. That's why. Because he lost his love because he did something stupid. I lost my sister because I let him."

Thank God my phone started ringing when it did. Talk about intense-don't-know-what-to-say-moments.

_Did you catch all that twin? _

I nodded and looked at my phone. "It's Uncle," I said to Nico before answering, "Hello Uncle Aro. How are you?"

"I'm good, niece, very good. On the other hand though, what is this I hear about a detention?"

"Just how did you hear about the detention Uncle?" That's curious. I know the school isn't going to call a number in Italy that they don't even have looking for my Uncle. Nope that's too weird, even for Forks.

"From your guard." MY guard?

"Uncle… Why are MY guard reporting to you? Especially when they can't even report key details to me?"

"We had to call Demetri in for a few months and he let it slip when we spoke."

"Well, regardless, did he happen to mention why MY guard are watching my school records instead of doing their job? Why are you pulling Demetri back anyways? You have Phillip now."

"Phillip is already out and Demetri won't be needed in America for a while. I'm running on the assumption that they will stay put there for you."

"Or they may run screaming when I mention that."

"You haven't told them?"

"Nope. I will though, soon enough. Right now we're going shopping with Alice Cullen, she's one of Carlisle's, remember?"

"Hint taken, niece. Tell your twin I said hello. Did you ask the Cullens about joining us?"

"About joining you? I have spoken with Alice, Jasper, and Carlisle, and they send their regrets. I haven't spoken with their brother yet but I presume his answer to be the same."

"I expect it to be as well. I still need you to explain the detention however."

"Nico tried to claim she was your favorite niece, and I could just let her lie like that!" I said oh-so-sweetly. He just chuckled. We talked a few more moments before we said our goodbyes and ended the call.

"He said not to drive the Volturi broke, twin"

"That will never happen. I can't spend that much no matter how much they think I can." We giggled.

_Twin, I need to tell her._

_I know, twin. You need to tell Idiot 1 too. _

_I know…_

Alice was just sitting in the backseat with her jaw wide open. She had been doing that for a while now so I decided to, you know, do the polite thing and point it out.

"A-dizzle. Would you mind closing your fangs and explaining why they're out in the first place?" I joked. Fangs. Ewww. Thank God that's a myth.

"Sorry… It's just, you have your own guard?"

"Well, yes. Why?"

"What do they do exactly. You two do not exactly need protection."

_Too 't an excuse._

_Breathe twin_. Nico interrupted my rambling thoughts. "Can't tell you that A-dizzle. Top secret castle-y business. They generally stay in America but until right now neither one of us even realized the were in Washington. They're probably gone by now so I wouldn't worry about it."

"Not worried, amazed."

"Oh," Nico replied, "Well, feel free to do that all you want." Then we giggled and so did Alice.

Several hours and eight as-emo-as-Alice-gets outfits later we loaded the car up with everything imaginable. Down to black scrubs - oh yea we are so dragging Carizzle in on this too. Who will soon be Casm while Esme will be Esmisle. (We were getting much less creative at this point.) We pointed the moving truck towards our house and instructed them to leave everything in the main room. We weren't done yet. Then I started a texting war with Jakey Jake.

**JAKE. WAKE UP. HUGE FAVOR. MEET US AT TREATY LINE? WITH SAID TREATY. **

**JUST COME OVER.**

**CAN'T HAVE ALICE.**

**JUST COME OVER.**

**DON'T WANNA GET ATTACKED/LICKED AGAIN. TOO DANGEROUS, SLOBBER IS BAD FOR YOU.**

**COME OVER. ITS FINE.**

**YOU PROMISE NO LICKING?**

**SURE, SURE. **

**HAVE SAID TREATY WITH YOU I WANT TO LOOK AT IT. **

**K.**

Alice's face was priceless when I oh-so-coolly drove strait across the line and headed into LaPush. Her words were even better.

"Guys, what are you doing! They'll kill us, turn around. Oh, it's too late. At least let me go home, please. If I'm going to war I want my family. What ARE YOU DOING! YOU'RE BREAKING THE RULES. THE TREATY IS VOID. OH GOD. THE TREATY IS VOID. WE WERE ALL JUST STARTING TO GET PEACEFUL. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!"

By this point in Alice's freak out stage we were both laughing so hard I could hardly drive. At least Nico was a little more focused and managed to snatch Alice's phone before she could call Jasper. I really wanted to explain to her but I couldn't stop laughing. Maybe if she could've stop screaming that would've helped. Luckily Nico generally responds to screaming with screaming.

"CALM DOWN JACE. NOW. WE'RE GOING TO SEE THE CHIEF. THAT'S ALL. THE ONLY REASON THEY'RE GOING TO KILL US IS IF YOU WAKE UP THE ENTIRE FUCKING RESERVATION WITH YOUR GIRLY SCREAMS. CUT IT OUT. WE TALKED TO HIM, IT'S FINE."

"oh…"

Oh?..I lost it. Like, parked the car and lost it. Nico had to push me into the passenger seat and take over the driving. I had calmed down to giggling like a school girl when we pulled into Jake's drive.

And I still had a big stupid grin on my face when the three of us hopped out and knocked on the door.

Apparently we had woken Jake up, which he was none too happy about. He just threw us the treaty and went back to his bedroom. Alice was doing that amazed thing again, and I had to once again put a stop to it. "Alice. Fangs." She shut her mouth and looked like she was about to say something but couldn't get the words out.

That reminds me, "Alice, when did the Denali's sign the treaty?"

"They didn't." I figured as much. It took me about ten seconds to analyze the handwriting. It only took Nico eleven.

_Eleazar is Demetri I assume?_ I nodded.

_Carmen is Heidi?_ Nod.

_Tanya is Bridget?_ Nod.

_Kate is Jane?_ Nod.

_Irina is Kendall?_ Nod.

_Figures._ Nod.

She muttered something like 'inconspicuous much?' under her breath and grabbed the treaty from my hands.

_Ready, Twin?_ Nod.

So she began, "Hey Alice, it says right here they signed it. The ink looks fresh too. Maybe a few weeks old. Can you take a look at it and tell me if it's their handwriting?"

"Sure, I'd love too." Nico handed it to her calmly and we watched her read over it.

_**Carlisle Cullen**_

_**Edward Masen Cullen**_

_**Mrs. Esme Anne Platt Evenson Cullen**_

_**Rosalie Lillian Hale Cullen**_

_**Emmett McCarty Cullen**_

_**Mrs. Mary Alice Brandon Cullen**_

_**Jasper Whitlock Cullen**_

_**Eleazar- Denali**_

_**Carmen - Denali**_

_**Tanya- Denali**_

_**Kate - Denali**_

_**Irina- Denali**_

_**Princess Isabella Marie Swan Volturi**_

_**Princess Nicolette Isabella Dwyer Volturi**_

And then I got tackled for the fifth time today.

* * *

**Aro could never be their Daddy. Really? His little empire is his baby. **

**As for the Denali coven. Well. They live in Denali right? So that's not actually their last name. I mean. Not really. The last thing I want is to get bitch-slapped by Tanya. **

**Seriously. **


	8. Serious Formations

"BELLA! BELLA! BELLA! BELLA! BELLA! BELLA! BELLA! BELLA!" It went on like that for literally an hour until Jake finally saved me.

"So, one Cullen down, six to go? Next time PLEASE don't do it at my house," he said as he slugged down the stairs, "I mean seriously. I don't mind waking up early but damn. Not to a crazed midget vampire please!" And then Alice tackled him too. And he let her. And they giggled like schoolgirls.

I know, tell me about it. This was really boosting my self-esteem.

"Sorry Jake, you know I'm a sucker for the dramatics." I apologized.

"No. actually I don't, remember? Conversation got cut short so you could go pretend to not know Carlisle and Esme."

"Duh, Twin." Nico spoke up for the first time since the Bella-ing started.

"Forgot Jakey Jake, not used to this whole haven't-been around-each-other-in-a-century-thing." I apologized again. Sort of.

"It's cool looks like the four of us have some catching up to do huh?"

"That's the game plan little brother, but first you two have to learn the secret handshake." Nico said.

So we taught them. Clasp, grasp, twist, grasp, clasp, snap, gangster hug, shoulder punch, finish with a V. (They weren't all too happy about the last part but, hey, it's our handshake. We're just sharing)

"Now the most important thing is that nothing said here this middle-of-the-night gets repeated until I, or Nico, get ready to share."

That confused Nico alright, which is, of course, exactly what I was going for. "Twin, I don't have any secrets."

"Yes you do, twin, you just don't know them until me and Jake tell you."

Jake confused? Check.

"Jake, do you have any popcorn?" He looked at me like I was stupid.

"Well, yes but why exactly?" Now I looked at him like he was stupid.

"Because I've got two idiots in front of me who can't put two and two together," I said simply, "and so I need something to throw at them."

More stupid stares.

"Nico, tell Alice your story here. Just project it to her okay?"

"Umm sure thing twin."

Ten seconds later Alice started giggling and said, "probably because idiot 1 has one 2 and idiot 2 has the other. They can't put them together that way."

"No, Alice," I said while giggling right along with her, "This is Idiot 3 and Idiot 4. 1 and 2 are taken."

"Oh. Of course, silly me. Let me guess Edward is Idiot 1?"

"Always."

"And that would make Idiot number 2... Paul?"

"Paul?!" said 3 and 4 simultaneously.

Nico asked Alice how she knew and Jacob asked himself how he didn't know. Then they both looked at me. "Don't give me the guilty glance, twin, I just figured it out earlier today. I mean I should've realized that there wouldn't be any Quileute Reservations in Florida but I never did. I only figured it out when I had both 2s sitting in my hands."

The conversation continued like that until it was time to leave for school in the morning. We talked about catatonic-Bella, redhead-killer-Bella (nobody minded - but I did get some impressive stares when I mentioned laughing while she burned), and my personal favorite crazy-meadow-Bella (to which I thankfully got a completely different reaction than Caius gave me and a shocked "Twenty six years Bella?") We told them how we adopted Marcus and tricked the secretary in order to do so. We told them almost everything they had missed. Jake was simply happy I was back and was (finally) convinced that vampires are not empty shells. Alice, being Alice, was completely ecstatic that the past century had made me nearly as materialistic as Rosalie and I would probably never put up a fight about shopping.

Now we were once again pulling into the Cullen's drive. Except this time everyone would be here. This time we would be here for at least an hour to get ready for school.

We walked inside, well, ran inside yelling "ALER! WE MISSED YOU! TOLD YOU WE WOULDN'T KIDNAP JACE!"

Confused Jasper? Check.

Alice ran upstairs to give Emlie and Rommie their clothes for the day. Nico took off and knocked on Edwards door, set the back outside it, and ran back down stares while screaming, "EDSTY, ALICE SAID PUT THESE ON FOR SCHOOL."

To which she got the enthusiastic reply of, "Why are you calling me Edsty? And why the hell have my parents and brother been calling me E-dog all damn night?"

That's all it took to have three girls laying on the floor of the Cullen home in hysterics, wiping fake sparkly tears away. It didn't help when Romme shouted, " I don't know E-dog, but I think Em-dizzle works on me."

"Don't get attached," the three of us shouted upstairs.

Now obviously, Alice would be riding with us today. I had to pick my next victims. Which I already had. So we told Aler that Jace would be riding to school with us today. He wanted to ride but we told him no. We're too cool for him now. When we told him Casm and Esmisle would be riding with us today everybody got confused.

Casm spoke up. " Excuse me, I-sizzle and N-unit, but -" I threw my hand up.

"It's Isette and Nabel."

"Okay… So Isette and Nabel, we do not attend school."

"Duh." We said in unison. "We need to talk, so therefore we are skipping first period to do so. And you are riding with us"

About that time Emlie, Romme, and Edsty walked down the stairs looking completely emo and started laughing when they heard us duh Carlisle.

They all went to their 'school car' and we walked to my 'everywhere' car.

Jake is being incredibly nice about all this. This time, of course, he is going to be escorting us but he is actually allowing three Cullens to cross the line. I had enough freak-outs last night from Alice that I really didn't think I could take any more today so we pointed out Jake when we crossed the line. We followed him down to First Beach and enjoyed every minute of their silent worry about why in the world we would be meeting the pack on Quileute land. When we pulled up Seth, Embry, and Leah were standing there. In formation.

This is awesome.

The seven of us that knew what was going on put on our 'serious' faces as Jake walked to stand in front of the formation. We the formed our own with Carlisle in front, Esme and Alice flanking him, me behind Alice, and Nico behind Esme. The two groups stared each other down as we began to speak. Jacob went first. "Carlisle I need you to assure me that our meeting today will be blocked from Edward's (he growled a little with the name, but he told me earlier it was necessary to make our meeting believable) ability until it is time for him to become aware of the situation."

Casm was fully back to Carlisle for now, no amusement showing on his face, and he meant business.

Which is hilarious since nobody else did.

"You have my word Jacob. What is the pressing matter that brought us across the line this morning?"

My cue.

"Carlisle it seems that your extended family in Denali has signed the treaty within recent weeks. I noticed their names yesterday when I signed. The ink is still fresh but Alice assures me that they have been vacationing outside America for over a year now. Is this true?"

"Yes. As far as I know they haven't been back on the continent in quite sometime. Jacob, may I see the treaty please. I would like to determine if it is, in fact, their signatures."

Jacob handed over the parchment to Carlisle and stepped back into formation.

I was very uncertain how long our straight faces were going to last.

Esme leaned over Carlisle's shoulder to begin examining with him. Me and Nico slid together, linked our arms, tilted our heads towards each other, and watched.

Esme was the first to turn. Then Carlisle. Then they stared. For a really, really long time.

Jake coughed. Seth coughed. Then they said together, "Well, I guess you two aren't going to do it. Don't worry, we'll handle it."

They tackled me.

And Seth licked my face.

Jerk.

* * *

**So Marcus is their 'Daddy.' I hate Caius. We all do. **

**Carlisle got 'duh'd.**

**And Bella just had to screw with Carlisle and Esme's heads. **


	9. Because Your Son Is An Idiot

"And here I thought I wasn't going to get tackled this morning. I really thought I was safe with Casm and Esmisle. But nooo… Stupid werewolves can't go twenty four hours without tackling me and licking my face. You really should be careful about doing that, guys, I mean; you really never know who could be watching. I do though, and trust me – you want to be careful."

Carlisle and Esme were still doing that staring thing. I didn't mind though – its way better than hearing my name being screamed for over an hour. Well, as far as I know. It has only happened to me the once. I need to remember to ask Nico about that later – I'm pretty sure she would know.

_The name screaming is better, Twin. Staring just gets creepy._

_Nosy much?_

_Just looking out for you, Twin. Now you don't have to remember to ask me._

_Right. Thanks. _

_Should we say something to the two over there that look like they've seen a ghost?_

_They pretty much have seen a ghost, Twin. _

_True. _

"Hey Alice, look! You're not the one with the fangs out this time!" Nico politely shouted before the three of us erupted in giggles. It worked though - Carlisle was the first to snap out of it with an oh-so-coherent, "Fangs?"

"Inside joke Casm. We'll fill you in sometime." Nico replied.

Coherency reared its ugly head again with a much quieter, "Bella?" Carlisle asked as he looked straight at me.

"The one and only."

"Volturi?" I always pegged Carlisle as the most well spoken Cullen but he was seriously putting a damper on that image with all these one word questions.

"We got bored. We went to go join the guard but ended up adopting Marcus."

"Guard?" Seriously Carlisle? Two words would be nice.

"Yea, but it didn't work. Aro was all up for it but Marcus had pretty much decided to keep us as soon as he took one look at our pretty faces. Speaking of which – have you ever heard Marcus tell somebody to 'shut the fuck up about it'?"

"I don't think I could imagine that if I tried." Wow a sentence! I'm getting impressed again.

"Then you've got to come around sometime when Aro starts mentioning how great we would be in the guard."

Carlisle chuckled at that and was finally coming back to full conversation mode.

"So you are Bella." Duh. "And your twin is…"

"Nicolette," she spoke up. "But I go by Nico. Or Twin. I'd prefer if you didn't call me Twin though, I usually reserve that for Bella-ella."

"But Bella, you're an only child." Statement, not a question.

So we explained everything to him. We told him how Renee and Phil had Nico after I 'died' and how we found each other. I told them how I was changed and about the multiple phases of Bella I went through before we went to Italy. Esme started dry sobbing and mumbling different phrases such as 'I'm sorry' and rambling things about daughters, family, and lasagna.

"So Bella, what did you mean when you said 'you never know who could be watching' earlier?" Damnit. He was not supposed to catch that. Never a better time for confessions than when you're surrounded by seven people who could be either very happy about the situation or very, very mad about it.

"I meant that I believe my guard is still in the area."

Carlisle looked confused. "Well I would imagine they are, Bella. You just came into town two days ago. I couldn't see why they would leave at this point if they're supposed to be protecting you." The way he looked at me was hilarious. If 'duh' was in his vocabulary I would've gotten one.

"They aren't here to protect us, Casm. We don't need protection and besides - they aren't Daddy's guard. They're mine. They were down here working for me… and obviously not telling me things that I should have known."

Apparently, Esmisle found her voice because she started rambling like a maniac.

"You have a guard? Why would you need one if you don't need protecting? Why don't you need protection? What were they down here doing? I've missed you so much! Our family hasn't been the same since…" Esme drifted off, officially losing her voice again.

"Yes, I have a guard. Because your son is an idiot sometimes. Because we kick butt like that. Long Story. I've missed you too. I'm sorry, had I known, I would've come sooner." I said answering all the questions as fast as possible hoping that I wouldn't have to explain anything just yet.

No such luck with Carlisle around. Damn perceptive vampires and their noticing things they shouldn't. "What do you mean because my son is an idiot?"

"Oh. That. It falls into the long story part."

"We've got time." Shit. Of course they do.

"Well. Okay. Hold on let me figure out how to explain this." I paused for a short time and decided twenty questions was the way to go. "Carlisle, when was the last time you crossed paths with a nomad?"

Carlisle confused? Check.

"It's been quite sometime, Bella. We've only seen two since James, Laurent, and Victoria."

"Two females?" He nodded. Bridget and Kendall- the only two members of my guard that Carlisle had never met.

"Esme, when was the last time you or one of your children slipped and your family was forced to move?"

Esme Confused? Check.

"It's been over a century dear, why?"

"Hold on I'm almost done. Alice, how did you know about Edward's suicide attempts?"

"Visions."

"In your visions – did he ever succeed?"

"No."

"Why is that?"

"Somebody always stopped him. Or denied him if he would ask someone else to do it. I never could see who it was though. It was always too dark."

"Alice, do you remember the two plus two equation?" Nod. Duh. "Use it." She did. It took her only 3 seconds before her eyes went wide.

"How long, Bella?"

"Since the first time he came to Volterra and requested it. They denied his request, of course. I know how stubborn Edward can be though – sometimes worse than me. So I assembled a small group of five to look out for him, stop his attempts, and watch over your family. Even if you guys didn't want me, I still loved all of you. I didn't want any of you hurt. I knew what it would do to your family if he was actually gone. I knew what it would do to me…"

Understanding finally dawned on Carlisle and Esme and they reverted to staring again. Until Carlisle gracefully mumbled out, "You've… had… the…VOLTURI… protecting… us… for… a… century?!?"

"Um, Yes?"

* * *

**Crazyformerpossibledaughterinlawsaywhat? **

**Of course she had to do something to stop him. Bella's not Bella if she's not in love with Edward. **

**Opinions, please? **


	10. Because You Hurt People For Fun

Things went smoother than I thought they would. For the most part.

Jake was pissed – at least until I told him that I would've done the same for him if he were as stupid as Edward. Well, and if I hadn't thought he was dead.

Alice and Esme thanked me repetitively for stopping Edward's attempts. They didn't have to- I did it mostly because I was selfish. I didn't want to lose my family even if I had already lost them. That made them even more thankful? Don't ask me – I don't get it.

Carlisle was thankful too but mostly amused at the entire situation.

Bella confused? Check.

Then he pointed out that the human they had told all of their secrets to had walked into Volterra, told the brothers everything, titled herself a princess, and then told them to PROTECT the Cullens. And they did.

Okay, so I see the backwardness of the entire situation. Technically they should have all died.

Puhlease.

Like I would let that happen?

Obviously not.

We were on our way back to the Cullen's house and I was still trying to determine my next victim. I wasn't ready to tell Edsty yet. Not like right-this-minute-yet anyway. Jasper would be in the first class we were going to today. He was already sufficiently freaked out so we could still have fun with it. He had been texting Alice repetitively since third block. This, since we said we would be back by second, made sense.

I LOVE Alice.

She oh-so-calmly wrote him back with a simple

**AT FIRST BEACH. BE THERE BY FIFTH. REMEMBER: ROMME, EMLIE, AND EDSTY. **

And left it at that.

Since then all of our phones had been ringing off the hook.

We were pulling in now to drop off Carlisle and Esme and go back to school. When we walked inside we all stopped when we noticed the little girl sitting on the couch with a bucket of popcorn.

Grrr.

"Seriously, Jane? Popcorn?" Nico said.

"Breaking and entering?" I said.

She shrugged and replied, "Dramatic effect. These three know I'm here, so might as well not be in a tree."

"Hello, Jane. I haven't seen you in quite a while." Carlisle, ever-welcoming, spoke up.

"Hey Carlisle, sorry I can't say the same. I've seen you plenty."

"So I'm told." Jane giggled while Nico and I rolled our eyes. "I see that you're eyes are gold now."

"I see your's are too genius." Jane said rudely without any offer of explanation. We all know she only did it for the job. It's a small sacrifice considering working for me is so much easier than being in Italy. They hardly had to work and they never had to report. The Cullen's never really got into trouble (except Edsty, who still tried on occasion) so it was basically freedom. With a huge paycheck. And shiny cars. And diamonds.

"Jane, respect Carlisle's home please. Do not speak to him like that again." I said, being all authoritative and stuff.

"Yes'm Master." She curtsied. She freaking curtsied me!

"Ugh, Jane. Just shut up please." I rolled my eyes while Nicole snickered in the background.

Carlisle interrupted, "Ladies, I shouldn't you be getting to school and messing with my son's heads?"

"Yes Master. School awaits," Jane said with a giggle, "Speaking of which, Bridget's up there right now. I suppose one of us will just enroll once all of this is out in the open?"

"Probably, we'll discuss it later." I said

"I'll do it!"

"No, Jane" Twin and I spoke together. We didn't even plan it this time.

"Why not?" She pouted.

"Because you hurt people for fun. Duh." Okay, that one we organized first.

And we left – telling Carlisle to feel free to send Jane away when she got to be too much.

* * *

**UGH. Never liked Jane much. I do, however, like my Jane.**

**And her popcorn. **


	11. Remember the Alamo

History is thrilling. I'm glad somebody is here to teach me about the things I lived through. Really, without them I have no idea how I'd know.

I know. Aper knows everything!

"Hey Aper! I need to work on my history. Care to help?"

"Sure Isette. What do you need to know?"

"It's a lot, and I'm not sure if I can remember it all, can we write it down? "

He shrugged so I swapped places with a clearly amused Jace so I could sit next to the slightly less amused Aper.

* * *

**So what do you need to know?**

_Everything! There's so much to learn!_

**Well start asking.**

_Okay. Tell me about your family._

**To put things simply: Carlisle turned Edward, Esme, Rosalie, and Emmett. In that order. Alice and I joined later.**

_You mean: Casm turned Edsty, Esmisle, Emlie, and Romme. In that order. Jace and you joined later?_

**Sure.**

_How good are you at guarding your thoughts._

**Very good.**

_That's good. It could get annoying I guess._

**Very much so.**

_So what's the worst part? About the thoughts issue._

**Not being able to think about my sister.**

_Emlie?_

**No. The other sibling I told you about yesterday.**

_Alice says he goes kind of berserk and crazy._

**Pretty much. I mean, I understand though. I still get depressed about it too. It doesn't help that I'm just as guilty as he is.**

_Doubtful._

**No, I am. I tried to kill her.**

_Well. That could damper the friendship a little. If she cared, which she probably didn't. It was an accident right?_

**Yea. She was human. She got a cut and I pretty much lost it. That was just the final straw for him. He left to 'protect her'**

_Idiot. Why didn't he just change her._

**Souls, humanity, etc.**

_So, changing subjects for a moment, if you ever feel the need to tackle me in class could you say something first? Like a safety word?_

**Um… sure I'll say 'remember the Alamo?'**

_Lets cut that down to Alamo okay?_

**Whatever makes you happy I guess.**

_Okay. So what was you're sister's name?_

**Bella**

_Pretty name._

**Beautiful person.**

_So I hear. So Casm turned Edsty?_

**Yes**

_And then Esmisle?_

**Yes**

_And then Emlie?_

**Yes**

_And then Romme?_

**Yes**

_And Jace and you joined later?_

**Yes**

_And then Edsty met Isette and she almost died a few times? He didn't want to steal her soul so like an idiot he left? Then you all thought _

_she was dead and she thought you all didn't want her so she didn't bother correcting the misconception? Then one hundred and _

_something years later she shows up totally unexpected and nobody knows who she is which is a-w-e-s-o-m-e because it gave her time _

_to think?_

**Pretty much. Welcome back sis.**

_No Alamo?_

**Maybe later, if it disappoints you that I didn't.**

_No trust me I'm fine with it._

**Okay, if it helps though - I probably would have if I hadn't figured it out already.**

_How so? You can't read my emotions…_

**No but I can read Edsty's. He's feeling better than he has in a century and the poor guy has no idea why. You tensed up yesterday when I **

**said Jacob's name. You've been avoiding Edsty like the plague. You guys came back to the house this morning reeking of werewolf. Then **

**you were in LaPush this morning. Seriously? No one else would cross that line Bells. You're the only one crazy enough to do it.**

_Well ruin my fun then._

**I didn't tell anyone. I'm sorry, you know.**

_Wasn't your fault Aper. I told you she doesn't care._

**Thanks. So who knows.**

_Casm, Esmisle, Jace, and You. And the entire Volturi of course. And the pack._

**Do you know what he did? When he thought you died?**

_I know what he tried to do and last I heard he was on attempt seventy three. I never knew why though._

**You knew he was doing it?**

_Yes. Why do you think it never worked?_

**You stopped him?**

_Everytime._

**How?**

_Volturi. Duh._

**Oh.**

_Alice can give you the details._

**I'll make sure to ask. Sitting with us at lunch?**

_Yes. You're sitting outside today though._

**Why?**

**_In case someone tackles me._**

* * *

**I'd like your opinions. I'd probably beg for them if you asked nice enough.**

**Jasper knows. Of course Jasper knows. He's really the most perceptive isn't he? **


	12. Lunchtime Play

Lunchtime was like a well written play. We had made the others follow us outside for lunch. Since it was such a beautiful, dreary day and all. We were under the cloud cover but lacking rain.

Nico was being sneaky. Well, pretending to be sneaky. She had jumped on Emmett's back, demanded a piggyback ride, and told Rosalie to follow them. Of course, Alice, Jasper, and I knew exactly what was going on. I was lying on my back 'daydreaming' and listening in on their conversation when I Jasper asked Alice to go on a walk.

So I sat there with Edsty. I ignored him because he was leaning against a tree being all emo and just tried to pay attention to Twin's conversation. It went something like:

N: Isette's got a seccrreeettt (yes, tauntingly like that, because the people who only physically met me five minutes ago were going to care.)

R: And? Do I care?

N: Oh, yes, you do.

E: Well?

N: I can't tell you.

R: What the hell?

N: Okay… fine. One condition though. You cannot repeat, out loud or in your head, the secret once I tell you. Are you prepared to repeat Britney Spears in your head for the remainder of lunch?

E: Does it have to be Britney?

N: Yes, it does. That's the rule.

E: Fine.

N: Emlie?

R: Sure.

Just then, interrupting my perfect lunchtime play, Jace and Aler walked up. Aler had a complete look of amazement on his face, "I don't believe it, Isette. No way you pulled that off. Not without someone noticing."

Edsty confused? Check.

I just plastered that big stupid grin on my face and nodded. "Actually, I can prove it. Just say the word."

"Do it," He taunted.

"Fine. Bridget, come here please." She had been leaning oh-so-inconspicuously against a tree, reading a book, and reciting the words to the book in her head. I told you we're good.

Bridget confused? Check.

She gracefully glided over and lay down beside me before asking with a giggle, "Yes, Master?" Jasper looked like he was quite literally worshipping us.

"You're as bad as Jane sometimes, do you know that?" I said - just to watch emo Edsty over there flinch. Which he so did. Why? I started having Jane follow him back to Volterra every time he decided to go try to end his life over there. It really was getting a bit ridiculous. I mean, I love him and all but I was still highly pissed. So sweet, innocent Jane would go stand next to Aro once again and work her magic. It was beautiful.

Truly.

"I'm sorry, I'll quit Is-" Oh. No. She was not about to say what I think she was. I have told these girls a million times not to call me Master. More importantly than that though, they know not to let the Cullen's know who I am. Even if there was only one left to tell.

"Master is fine." I said menacingly as I glared at her.

She looked scared. Not my fault. Did anyone hear me tell her to use my name? Didn't think so.

"Now, Bridget, please go rescue Carlisle. Jane has been over there for at least two hours now. He'll never tell her to leave, even if he wants her to. Go take her shopping and tell Heidi to resume the rest of your duties today and Kendall to cover hers. Understood?"

"Yes, Master"

"Wow, Twin. Just wow." Nico was walking up with the other two. All three had big stupid grins on their faces. "She never does that, you know. Bosses them around like that. They're all, like, the best of friends. Right, Twin? What did she do to deserve that?"

"I'll tell you later."

"Point taken, Twin. I forget, have you met these two? This is Emlie and this is Romme"

Rosalie tackled me. (Of course. I believe Nico might have had something to do with it this time though) Then Emmett grabbed my hands, yanked me out from under her, and pulled me into a big, familiar, Emmett hug.

This is awesome for two reasons:

I would have never survived an Emmett tackle

and

Edsty stood up and started growling.

The other six of us had no choice but to stop whatever we had been doing, look at Edsty, and fall to the ground in hysterics.

Rosalie was the first to be able to speak. "What the hell Edsty?"

He politely screamed, "ARE YOU TRYING TO GET YOURSELVES KILLED? SERIOUSLY? SPRINGING ON VOLTURI LIKE THAT?"

"Turn it down a notch Edsty. If you could quit being so damn emo all the time you would've seen that Emlie and Romme were just happy to see Twin." Nico said. Clearly not on his side. Duh.

"Thanks, Twin, I got this." So I started to antagonize. It's one of the things I do best. "What is your problem anyways?" I know the answer to that. "Why do you sit here all emotional all the time and don't bother to talk to anyone?" I know the answer to that.

Unfortunately, he got pissed. Which is exactly what I was going for.

"My PROBLEM is too complicated for you to understand, PRINCESS. I sit here all emotional all day because I can hardly function as it is. YOU wouldn't understand that. YOU wouldn't understand why I physically cannot hold a conversation with anyone because I literally have nothing to say."

"Try me. I understand more than you could even realize. I've been through almost exactly the same thing. The pain, the seclusion, the numbness. Knowing everything will never be as good as it was before. I KNOW THAT, I UNDERSTAND IT. Except I didn't know he still loved me. At least you know that! You walked away from your life. I never did. Mine walked away from me."

"But did he die?"

"What?" Is he really not catching any of this yet?

"Did he die?"

"No. He's not allowed to."

"And how do you enforce that law, princess?"

"EDWARD ANTHONY MASEN CULLEN, YOU CALL ME PRINCESS ONE MORE TIME AND I WILL RIP YOU TO PIECES. YOU ARE SUCH AN IDIOT! DO YOU KNOW THAT? DEAD FATHER, GIRL MISSING, NO BODY FOUND. ANYONE WOULD'VE SEEN IT. ANYONE WOULD HAVE FIGURED IT OUT. ALL THOSE BIG, SPARKLY, HINTS EVERYWHERE. LIKE I DON'T KNOW, THE NO BODY FOUND PART. IT DIDN'T CROSS YOUR MIND IN THE HUNDRED AND TWENTY SIX YEARS THAT HAVE PASSED THAT MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, THERE'S A REASON THEY NEVER FOUND THE BODY? AND YOU ASK ME HOW I CAN ENFORCE THAT LAW? EASY. YOU'VE TRIED TO COMMIT SUICIDE SEVENTY THREE TIMES IN SOME WAY SHAPE OR FORM AND IT HASN'T WORKED ONCE! WHOEVER GOES AFTER YOU DISAPPEARS, EVERY FIRE YOU LIGHT BURNS OUT? PUT THE PIECES TOGETHER EDWARD. SERIOUSLY, DUH."

And with that I took off into the forest.

* * *

**I love me some reviews. Just so you know. Opinions are awesome.**

**& Edward is an Idiot. **

**& Bella hates being referred to as 'Master' or 'Princess' but she wasn't going to let Bridget be the one to tell him. Really, if I had been avoiding somebody for over a century, I would have been pissed at her for almost screwing it up too. **


	13. I Waited

**This one is a little more serious. Couldn't help it. Sorry. I'll throw in a punchline somewhere though. **

* * *

As soon as I was out of sight I ran as fast as I could. Faster than I ever had before. I ran to the meadow. His meadow. Our meadow. My meadow. I fell down to the grass and I lost it. For a century I had restricted myself, forced myself, to try to live. I tried so hard to forget. Forget that he never wanted me. Forget that he never loved me. Forget that I was a toy. Then I come back to Forks and find out that they're here. That they didn't even recognize me. It was my chance to start over. To befriend my family once again. I could spend time with them and not worry about the past. Not have them worry about the past. Nothing would interfere. I could be close to Edward, my Edward, but never be close enough for him to hurt me again. I could see him though. I could see him everyday and watch him smile and laugh. Watch him enjoy his existence with his family. I could enjoy just being a part of that existence. But he didn't smile. He didn't laugh. He didn't' enjoy his existence. Then I found out he did love me. He lied. He was trying to protect me. I've been hiding in Italy for one hundred years for absolutely no reason. A hundred years wasted. I love my family dearly, don't get me wrong, I could never be more appreciative for Marcus and Aro. They have given me everything. They have protected my sister and I. They have protected my family and given me a new one as well. But nothing could compare to a hundred years with Edward. Nothing.

I sat down by the tree I had planted here one hundred and twenty six years ago, the one I hadn't seen in the last hundred, and I sang. I sang the song that I had sung every day for twenty six years. When Nicolette found me I had been singing my song. It was all I ever did.

_You crushed me.  
Then you caught me.  
Held me tight.  
You fought for me._

_Then you walked away.  
Left me lying here.  
Broken with pain.  
Trembling with tears.  
I looked at you.  
I swore forever.  
You looked in my eyes.  
You swore never._

_I gave you my heart.  
For all eternity.  
You broke my soul.  
Wasn't an option for me._

_Yet here I am.  
Crimson and stolen.  
Burning with you.  
Yet I'm all alone._

_Because you walked away.  
Left me lying here.  
Broken with pain.  
Trembling with tears.  
I looked at you.  
I swore forever.  
You looked in my eyes.  
You swore never._

_I'm waiting.  
Come back to me.  
One more night.  
One more memory._

_I can't dream a dream.  
I can't shed a tear.  
Everything means nothing  
Without you here._

_I love you.  
I love you forever.  
I want to hate you.  
I know I will never._

_You crushed me.  
Then you caught me.  
You walked away.  
Now I've lost me._

I broke down into sobs in same place I had so many times before. I felt a strong pair of arms wrap around me tightly. He just held me. It seemed like days had passed when he finally spoke.

"Bella?" I nodded my head to acknowlege him. I couldn't speak right now. I couldn't handle it.

"I'm sorry, Bella."

"I know." I choked out.

"I'm sorry for lying to you. I wanted what was best for you. I love you, only you. It has always only been you."

"I know." I whispered weakly. "But I didn't know. Not before. I hoped you would figure out what happened. I thought that maybe, even if you didn't want me, you would make sure I was okay. I wanted you to find me, to save me. You didn't though. I waited for you for so long. I hoped, I prayed, and I waited. I couldn't go home so I came here. I thought you would've known to look here. I wouldn't leave... I couldn't. When Nicolette found me - that's when I gave up on us."

"How long were you here, Bella?"

"Twenty six years," He gripped me even tighter than he had been, "I thought you'd realize that she came back for me. I thought you would notice that they never found my body."

"I'm so sorry Bella. I didn't even find out for twenty eight years. I've missed you so much. I thought you were dead. I thought you died thinking that I didn't love you, that I didn't care. I hated myself for that. You shouldn't have had to go through that, ever. I never deserved you and I always knew that. I wanted you to have the life you deserved. I never meant to ruin it. Please, tell me you understand how sorry I am?"

I just nodded and curled up against him and we lay there with our eyes closed until well past sunset.

" I love you Edward Anthony Masen Cullen," I whispered.

"As I love you, Isabella Marie Swan."

"Volturi," I reminded him. He sighed.

"Fine. Isabella Marie Swan Volturi."

"That's better. They're not so bad, you know. Marcus really is a wonderful person. Aro too most of the time. Caius... Well, no not really - he is pretty much a jerk, but we got used to it."

"I guess..."

"Oh, Edward stop it. You really don't give them enough credit. The guard has been following you around for a century now. Protecting you. Mostly from yourself, but still. They are good people. Truly."

"So, why did you always have them stop me. If you thought I didn't want you, didn't love you. Why?"

"A world without you isn't worth living in," I said simply.

"Thank you," He spoke softly with honesty in his voice.

"Hey Edward?"

"Yes, love?"

"What color would my eyes be if I drank Jacob?"

* * *

**So I might have seriously wondered that on my way to work this morning.**

**Maybe, but I'm not telling.**

**Review please. Sorry for the serious chapter. Won't happen again. **


	14. Esme Makes Some Killer Pancakes

We were still lying there when the sun began to break. IN FORKS. Three days here and I'm already making miracles happen. We were still staring at each other and just grinning like idiots.

Seriously.

"I can't believe you're here," He said.

"Tell me about it," I huffed, "I'm just sitting here like a lovesick puppy soaking up all of your sparkly glory."

He chuckled. "I don't mind."

"Of course you don't Emo Edsty," I laughed, "But can you turn down the Emo part a little because we're going as something new today? Oh hell, we need to get back."

"Going as something different today?"

"Duh. Crazy-multiple-personality-twins. Pay attention Edsty."

"If you duh me one more time, Bella, I just might loose my mind."

"You've already lost your mind. Seventy three times, remember? And it's still Isette." I demanded.

He sighed, "I'll play along at school, Bella, but that's all you're getting from me."

"Fine. You're such a grump. Let's get going."

We stood up and began running back towards the Cullen's. I decided they weren't stupid anymore. Okay, Edward was, but the rest are almost back up to their original standards. Almost. So we're running along at inhuman speeds, glittering like freaks, with supposed superior intelligence when I realized we probably won't go to school today.

What, with the whole glittering situation and all.

"So, what are we going to be today?" He asked me. I swear he was trying to be enthusiastic but the look just didn't suit him.

"Don't know. Twin's probably got it figured out."

"Speaking of your twin how… exactly… I mean… you don't have a twin."

"Renee's replacement therapy, Edsty, keep up."

"Oh, she's honestly your sister?"

"Halfsy. Yes."

"How did you two meet? I mean, did you stay in touch with your mom?"

"No. She thought I died just like everyone else. I wouldn't risk it around her. I never knew about Nicolette until she found me. She recognized what happened to Renee and Phil as being the same as what happened to Charlie. She recognized the possibility that she still had a sister out there. A sister who didn't know she existed, but a sister still. So she went to Charlie's. Renee got everything in his will, and she got everything in Renee's. So she went and found everything exactly the same as the day he died. Down to the blood stains on the floor and the ashes in the fireplace. She went through my room and apparently found a picture of us in the meadow, I don't know how… I looked for ages for any of my things. I tried to find anything that you may have forgotten. I looked-"

"The floorboards," He interrupted.

"What?"

"The pictures, the CD, they were under the floorboards. You wouldn't have seen it as a human but if she came after she was changed, she would've noticed…"

OOOH THIS IRRITATING, GOLDEN EYED, IGNORANT ASS!!

Patience gone? Check.

"THEY. WERE. WHERE?!"

"I'm sorry, I know it was selfish, but I couldn't take away everything-"

This time I interrupted, "YOU. IDIOT. DO YOU REALIZE IF YOU HADN'T BEEN SO WORRIED ABOUT BEING SELFISH YOU WOULD'VE. I WOULD'VE. WE COULD'VE. AND. AH! GRRR…"

"I'm sorry," He said sheepishly.

"Whatever. Try not to piss me off again today okay? Seriously. You've done it enough over the past century."

He just nodded as we closed in on the house. Mansion. Whatever. We slowed down as we came up towards the door. We walked in to find Twin, Carlisle, Esme, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, and Jane looking expectantly at us. Edward flinched when he saw Jane. I chuckled. He looked at me like he was fifty kinds of confused.

"What. You were being stupid. I figured if Jane was there every time you went maybe you'd just give up already. Obviously not," I replied nonchalantly and then turned to Jane, "Why are you still here? I thought I sent Bridget to come relieve Carlisle from you yesterday?"

"She did.. I figured I'd come over for breakfast. I heard Esme makes some killer pancakes."

I rolled my eyes at her, "Whatever Jane, go home, and we're going shopping tonight so make room in your closet okay?"

She nodded and turned towards Edward with a sickly sweet smile.

"Jane, don't you dare." I said.

"But Isabellllllla," She whined.

"Go home, Jane."

"Yes Master." She giggled and took off.

"I'm going to kill that girl one day," I was speaking to Edward but apparently he missed it with all the staring in shock he was doing to me.

"What?"

"You… Jane… Here? … Italy? You've got some explaining to do Miss Swan."

"Ahemmm…" Nico oh-so-discretely cleared her throat.

"Miss Volturi," He mumbled.

_He's not taking the Volturi thing so well is he twin?_

_Not so much Nico. _

_Ah, Edwardo gets like that. You know that Bells._

_Alice? Nico, why is Alice in our head huddle?_

_Cause she's our new baby sister_

_Oh, ok_

_Hey, I'm not your baby sister Nico, I'm older than both of you!_

_Yes, but your short. Just accept it and move on._

_Hmmph. _

"Alice, why did your mind go blank? I feel empty without having Britney around."

"Shh… We're talking Edwardo."

"Edwardo?"

"Hush"

_I'm curious though, Edwardo? New personality._

_Nah, no point. No school. Just doing it to irritate him. _

_I giggled at that. _

"Now, Miss… Volturi, would you like to explain a few things to me? Like Jane, or my failed suicide attempts, or how you were having a silent conversation with Alice, or why she is calling me Edwardo?"

"Well. I don't know why they are calling you Edwardo. That was decided before I got here. I wouldn't plan on it stopping there. I can have silent conversations in my head. That's just how I roll. Nico too. Renee makes some kick ass vampires if you ask me. It's invitation only though - one day, if you're lucky, I may let you experience it. You're suicide attempts failed because I've had a guard of five watching over your family since shortly after I got to Italy. And Jane is crazy bitch and there's really not much explaining it."

"Um. Guard?" Carlisle started rolling on the floor laughing again when Edward said this.

"Mmhmm." I fought off a giggle. I was starting to like this reaction.

"And my father is giggling on the ground, why?"

"Cause he thinks its funny. That I was the human that you told your secrets to and a couple decades later I went to Volterra, told them everything, and made them protect you. Or something like that."

He just gave me that stupid crooked grin and it made me feel like I was a crack addict suffering a relapse.

"So they haven't just been stopping my stupidity, but actually protecting us at all times?"

"Yes, and it gets quite boring sitting in a treetop watching you stare out a window. Really. Emo much?" A new voice appeared in the room.

I turned to find one of my best friends looking extremely annoyed with Edward.

"HEIDI!" Nico and I shrieked at the same time as we tackled her. "WE'RE SO GLAD TO SEE YOU! IT'S BEEN TOO LONG!"

"Well, you've been back in town for going on three days and I'm obviously you're second to last stop. So you haven't missed me too much I presume." She retorted while trying not to look amused.

"Okay. In my defense though, while I'm aware I told the five of you I didn't want any updates on them unless it was crucial information, I'm pretty sure when I said, 'Hey, Heidi, I'm moving back to Forks' this became crucial information. Maybe I could've planned."

"You wouldn't have planned, Idiot. You wouldn't have came."

"Whatever."

"She's right, Twin," Nico spoke up, "Aren't you glad she didn't say anything?"

I looked around. I saw my family, my love, my sister, and one of my best friends. "Hmph. I guess."

She just chuckled, "Truce?"

"Yea, sure whatever. Anyways, Twin, Alice, Jane, and I are going shopping this evening. Would you two like to come?" I asked Heidi and Rose.

"Sure" - Rose, of course.

"Love toooo." - Heidi

"So, Bella, Five? Jane and Heidi and…." Edward asked. Sort of.

"Demetri, Bridget, who you met earlier, and Kendall."

"Would you mind telling me how you managed to get some of the Volturi's most prized members down here watching us?"

"The Volturi Church of Sparkling Vampires, Duh."

"The WHAT?" - Edward, Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett said in unison. Guess we're rubbing off on them. Alice, Jasper, and Heidi were attempting to remain standing by clutching their sides in a fit of laughter.

Geez. How many times do I have to explain things around here. From now on any time I have a story to tell I'm calling a family meeting.

"Okay. Eternity gets boring, right? So Nico and myself started a small congregation. I mean, we knew it wouldn't last but we didn't want to get people killed. So we picked wisely. Aro likes his shiny new toys the way Rose likes her wrench. I got to pick whoever I wanted, basically as a thanks for supplying some kick ass new guards."

Edward pulled me into a tight hug and whispered, "You're aware that you are clinically insane, right?"

How sweet, "Yes, but the Prozac doesn't work on me. We've tried."

* * *

You know the drill.

I would love for you to review and will probably cry if you don't.

But I refuse to beg.

I had a new idea for a story. A very loose idea. It's still unshaped because I am very unsure about angry Bella. So check out the one chapter preview on my profile if you'd like, please. And Review. Or PM. I would like to continue it but I want some opinions on it first.

Much Love.


	15. I LVOE YOU TOO

**In one of the coming chapters Jasper is going to dig up a family secret on Nico and Bella (ie:Renee). He is such the historian isn't he? No, they don't know about it. A couple hints have been dropped so see if you can guess. Post said guesses and I will dedicate said chapter to those who get it right. And send a whole bunch of lovin and e-hugs your way.**

* * *

"So, Bella," Carlisle spoke up. Eck, I knew this conversation would be coming sooner rather than later. Silly Carlisle and his annoying curiosity. "I was wondering… you're obviously more than capable of protecting yourself. I doubt Marcus would have let you two come alone if that weren't the case. I'm very curious-"

I interrupted, "Carlisle, you're always curious, but yes I guess we should have this conversation. The whole family needs to stick around though, I'm getting very tired of retelling my stories. I mean the whole family. Mine too. I'll go get the others and we will meet back here in an hour, okay?"

"Sounds fair, Bella, I'll see you in an hour."

I grabbed Nico and Heidi and we ran to the car to head home. We were halfway there when my phone began to ring.

"Hi, Daddy," I said sweetly. I wasn't sure how he would take the news of recent events and I was slightly scared for Edward's sake.

"Hello, child. I take it they didn't run screaming?" He was clearly amused. Pesky father figure.

"No, quite the opposite. I did, actually, right after I told Edward he was idiot and threatened to rip him to pieces for calling me 'princess'." He chuckled.

"That's my girl. I assume he ran after you?"

"Yes."

"I figured he would." Still amused. Grr.

"I don't know why you were so sure. I wasn't," Then it hit me. There's no way he didn't know. Not with Uncle there every time Edward went to Volterra. I instantly got an accusing tone in my voice. "Daddy, you knew, didn't you? All this time… you knew how he felt. And you never told me? How could you never tell me?"

"Isabella, calm down. I haven't known long. Last year, the last time Edward came, was when I found out. I have never sensed a bond so strong that I could feel it when the two were separated. When you came to me, though, I could sense your attachment to him and it shook me. I couldn't believe a man could be dumb enough to walk away from that kind of love. I couldn't understand how somebody could willingly leave someone in the pain I lived with everyday. I wanted to help you become whole again. Surely, it wasn't an option for me, but you were so pure with your love - I felt you deserved to feel your peace. I tried. I tried everyday to do for you what you had so unknowingly done for me. You and Nicolette will never know how you've put me back together again. I see my wife in both of you - the way you act, the way you laugh, all of your crazy antics. You brought the castle alive in a way it hadn't been since she died. But through all of your jokes, your pranks, your tricks, the bond never left you. The pain never left you. I saw straight through you and I saw how you fought the grief that should've overcome you. For Nicolette. For me. I hated that I couldn't do the things for you that you did for me. Every time he came to Italy my chair was empty. I refused to look at the face of the man - boy - that did this to my daughter. Aro never touched him. He didn't want to see the boy's happy memories - that would lead him to do something you would hate him for. Last year when he came Aro slipped, simply shook his hand without realizing what he was doing. He left the room immediately to find me. He always felt the same. Had I not avoided seeing him, had Aro not avoided touching him, we might have known sooner. As soon as he left we began planning and, knowing you girls, it didn't take us long to come up with a reason to send you to America. It was you Isabella, always you, but we never knew. I'm so happy that you have found him again, I truly am. We never told you what we were up too because we didn't want you to run. We wanted you to be happy."

I couldn't think.

I couldn't breathe.

I couldn't speak.

Of course he was in on it. We would never really get sent away. If anything our pranks would be more harmful to them elsewhere. Thank you Marcus, thank you. Thank you. Thank you Aro, thank you. My family… Wow. Thank you.

Twin snatched the phone away from me. "Daddy, I don't think Isabella can talk right now. She keeps repeating 'thank you' and 'wow' in her head though. We're on our way to get Jane, Bridget, and Kendall right now for a meeting with the Cullen's. Curious Carlisle wants to talk to us."

"I'm sure he does, daughter, feel free to discuss everything with him. I see no reason to keep secrets from the Cullens. You girls are, of course, free to return home whenever you please or stay in Washington. The decision is yours. Remember though, if you decide to stay I expect frequent visits. Carlisle and his family are welcome as well and I promise to keep your uncle from trying to recruit them. Too much. I miss you Nicolette. I love you."

"I love you too Daddy," She said as she hung up the phone.

I snatched it back and began furiously texting Marcus. I knew he wouldn't write back but I didn't care.

THANK YOU DADDY, THANK YOU. I LOVE YOU.

Shockingly enough, he did write back. He doesn't text. Ever. So, sweet as it was, of course I had to laugh when I read it.

I LVOE YOU TOO.

And then another.

LOVE

I giggled as we pulled into the driveway. One day that man will be the texter I see inside of him.

_Twin,_ Nico interrupted my silence

_Hmm?_

_Want to wear our robes?_

_Why?_

_Just to freak them out._

I giggled,_ yea._

So an hour later we knocked on the Cullen's door. Nico and I were cloaked in deep black with diamonds running along the hems of our ensembles. We went so far as to adorn the large pendants and diamond rings. The four behind were matching in a slightly greyer shade of black when Jasper opened the door. And then he ran.

I heard a chuckle come out of the forest behind us followed by, "You girls are evil do you know that?" I turned around.

"Jacob? Yes, of course, we know that Jakey. Why are you here?"

"I heard there was a family meeting. I figured the family pet should be in attendance." He joked.

"Well, come on."

"Technically, a Cullen is going to have to allow me." He said.

"She is a Cullen, Jacob, come on in." Edward said as he wrapped his arm around me. Hmm... Is a Cullen. I liked that.

"And a Volturi, and a Swan. Don't think I'm going to let you go around calling my sister a Cullen without making her one the right way, Edwardo." Nicolette said tauntingly.

"In time, Nicolette. Until then I will say that she is a member of this family and is allowed to grant permission for Jacob to enter. Is that better?"

"Yes." She said triumphantly.

"So would you girls like to tell me why you felt it necessary to scare Jasper that way?" Carlisle asked as we walked inside.

"He was just the one who answered the door. We didn't think he would run, Sheesh, he knows the whole story."

"Mmhmm… Well Alice should be bringing him back soon. Would you all like to join me in the dining room?"

We nodded and followed him into the dining room. In the course of an hour they had managed to add enough chairs for everyone.

"How did you guys come up with seven chairs to match your antique dining set in the course of an hour?"

"We have our ways. Besides, we only had to find six. Your chair has always been here. You were always a member of this family." Carlisle said as Edward pulled out my chair for me. I ran up and gave him the biggest hug I could and almost started sobbing. Damnit, now I'm starting to act like a girl again. How many times am I going to do that this week?

_Seven, I think_, Alice popped into my head as she reappeared with Jasper.

_Thanks, baby sis,_

_Hmph. I still don't like that part. _I just smirked at her and continued walking.

So we all sat down at the table, ready for Carlisle's questions. First, though, I had one of my own.

"Since both Carlisle and Jacob are here I have a question. It's pretty much morbid curiosity." The both looked at me expectantly. "What color would my eyes be if I drank Jacob?"

Jacob looked petrified. The rest of them could hardly contain their laughter. I mean, it must have felt like an earthquake all across the Olympic peninsula.

"Jake, calm down. Not going to do it. I like you too much for that, besides, you don't exactly smell appetizing."

He looked relieved. That dork actually thought I would drink him? Puhlease.

"Purple," Nico managed to choke out through her giggles.

I just glared at her. As did Jake. How in the world would she know that?

"What? Caius told me on evening when we were talking in the library. You know how obsessed his with those things. We should really bring Jakey Jake up to Volterra sometime. That would be awesome."

I giggled, it so would be. Carlisle cleared his throat. That's his customary time-to-start-the-meeting thing. And so began the meeting where we would tell the Cullen's all of our secrets. The secrets that nobody outside of castle walls has been allowed to know until now.

* * *

**Secrets, secrets, secrets. The next chapter will probably have to be semi-serious. I'm trying to find away around it, I promise.**

**BTW: Isn't Marcus awesome? See... I never liked them being the bad guys. **

**Review, review, review, review, review. Please.**

**::Whines:: I will not beg. **

**Too much.**


	16. I'm Not Scared of You, Princess

"So," Carlisle started.

"Hold on a second Carlisle, we have a few formalities to get out of the way first." I said. He just nodded in understanding.

"First thing is first. Anything we discuss here, stays here. Certain subjects that may be discussed have never left the castle before. Even most of the ones there do not know." I heard Jane gasp when I said this. "Jane, I discussed this with Marcus earlier and he believes there is no reason to keep anything from the Cullens."

She nodded as Carlisle spoke up, "I'm glad that he still holds faith in us, Bella."

"Wasn't until recently, trust me. He stayed out of the room every time Edward came to Italy until last year. It wouldn't have been pretty. Now, however, you might want to watch it or he's going to start calling you brother. Then I'd be all freaky like Alice and Rose. Except a little less freaky because Edward would be my cousin not brother."

"If I'm your baby sis, doesn't that already make Edward your brother?" Damn Alice.

"Whatever."

"Oooh, I get to be your sister Edward!" Jane spoke up. I giggled. Nico giggled. Edward looked horrified.

"Anyways, back to business, Edward." I said as I turned to look directly at him, "First, I have to ask, would you like to join the stupid Volturi guard?"

He smirked, "No thank you."

"Good. Second, are you going to quit being stupid now?"

"Yes Master." He said as he looked down at his shoes. Jane and Bridgett erupted into giggles and I shot him a totally gangster death glare. Which didn't scare him. Not one bit.

"I'm not scared of you, Princess." He smirked.

"Not such a wise thing, Mr. Cullen." I replied calmly. Then a pot flew and hit him in the back of his head.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?"

"Me being irritated," Nico said. Yea, it was totally her. I would've went for the stove or something.

"Why?"

"Your antagonizing Twin. That could end up being bad for everyone. Especially since I'm completely on her side, brother."

"Um.. Yes Ma'am. I'll quit."

Carlisle cleared his throat. "So, Bella, would you like to tell us about your abilities?"

"They come slowly. Usually I don't even notice that I've acquired them until I get mad or something. Nico was the same. That's how she blew up part of the castle. Felix wouldn't leave her alone-"

"As usual," She interrupted.

"So he wouldn't leave her alone. The boy seriously has it bad. He had been camped outside her room for a few days and she needed to hunt. She couldn't leave without having to talk to him and her anger got the best of her. That wasn't until at least five years after she had acquired the skill. So we usually know when they come to us, but we don't notice it exactly. Time is knowledge I guess."

"So you acquire abilities?" I nodded, "and you get them from others of our kind?" I nodded again before Nico spoke up.

"Humans too, if they're concealing any undeveloped abilities. Those ones we don't know about until they burst out. The only way we know we're getting a skill is if we know the vampire around us has one."

"So what all can you do?"

"Pretty much everything." We said in unison.

"Amazing…"

"We try not to use them usually. Nico feels free to hop into heads whenever she pleases but I try to stay out. It's different around Jake and them though, we can't hardly touch them. We can't get into their heads or anything like that. "

"And what else, exactly?"

Seriously?

"The list goes on and on. We've shown you a few. The pot that flew into Edward's head. The silent conversations. Technically, we could control the elements if we wanted but that one is fairly difficult to use and we have to do it together."

"Wow," Came from several mouths at different times.

"Yes, we're amazing we know." Nico gloated.

"There's a reason that Carlisle is the only one who's heard much about us. Word doesn't get around to well because it isn't supposed too. No one needs to know about our abilities. Not yet."

"I agree, Bella. You know we'll keep the secret." Carlisle said oh-so-professionally. You really got to love Carlisle, there isn't much of a way around it.

"Thank you, Carlisle."

"Wait," Leave it too Emmett to notice the part I didn't want to talk about, "What do you mean not yet?"

"Bridget, Kendall," I acknowledged the two girls, "Heidi and Jane already know what I am about to say. I need your assurances that you will not give anyone else this information." They both nodded. I looked to Edward, he knew what I was asking, and he nodded as well. "If, and that is a major if, anything would ever happen to my father or uncles… Nicolette and I would, theoretically, take their places."

More staring. And Fangs. A few gasps.

"Fangs, people. Put them up."

Everyone quickly caught themselves. I don't know who explained the fangs comment to them but I'm glad I didn't have to explain myself once again.

"This is so cool. My baby sister is going to be the NHIC!" - Emmett of course.

Everyone looked confused, except Edward, who laughed and said, "HNIC, Emmett."

Then everyone rolled their eyes.

"It's a possibility, Emmett, but not a very large one."

"Whatever, still cool."

"Bella," Jake spoke for the first time in a while.

"Yes, Jakey?"

"Me, you, and Nico get to all be in charge of shit! That's awesome!"

"Technically, we would be in charge of a lot more than you," Nico said. Gloating, again.

"ANYWAYS," yes. I'm subtle I know, "I think I'm over the whole long-drawn-out-serious conversation situation. I think we're going to go home for the rest of the day and we'll see you all tomorrow."

"Can I come?" Edward looked eager like a puppy.

"Me Too." Jake did too. Damnit.

"Edward, I was so not planning on you staying here. You're the reason we're going to my house tonight. Idiot."

"Finally," Emmett mumbled under his breathe. I shot him the gangster death glare.

"What about me?" Jake again. I did not want to do this tonight. Or ever.

"Ugh fine. You're so explaining this to her, not me. And you're doing it when I'm well into my own wing of the house and she is in hers." He nodded while looking down at his feet. "Seriously, Jake, I thought I was screwed up."

Edward caught understanding and could barely hold back his laughter when he asked, "Wing? You're house doesn't have wings."

"Volturi. Duh."

* * *

** I love reviews. Duh. Any guesses yet on Jasper's surprise? Or Jakes now? I wonder what Bella has in store for Edward. I don't know anymore than you do at this point so be prepared for anything, Love.**

Oh & I Love

Bonham Carter

Awesomeness to it's fullest. Love the feedback, you make me feel high. thanks :-)


	17. BUT I'M SO NOT SAYING IT OUTLOUD

**Vassillia. bb1028. You rock. You totally got Jake down. Woo hoo for You! & Bonham Carter in all the awesomeness...**

**Review, cause you love me.**

* * *

"WAIT, BELLA! YOU PROMISED SHOPPING!" Alice screamed while pouting out her bottom lip and trying to give me the wide-eyed puppy dog face.

Damnit. I forgot all about that.

"What if Bella doesn't want to go shopping?" Edward asked. We've OBVIOUSLY got a lot of catching up to do.

"Psh, you don't know Twin very well then, brother. I believe last night Alice was the first one to say she was done."

Everyone stared at Alice in shock. Ha. This is awesome. (A/N: I really hate it when people put author's notes in the middle of a chapter. It's irritating. I thought now would be a good time to tell you.)

"ANYWAYS, Alice, When are the clouds going to come?"

"Seven minutes." She said enthusiastically.

"Okay well, now that we have two shopping carts," I looked at Edward and Jake, "Edward can drive the Volvo. Rose, Jane, Jake, and Heidi can ride with him. Nico, Bridgett, Kendall, and Alice will ride with me. And Esme if she would like to come." Esme nodded. Edward looked unhappy about the shopping cart situation. Jacob looked terrified.

"Wait, can't I ride with you? I miss my best friend!" Nice try Jake.

"Nope. And if you do anything stupid in the mall that causes anyone to, I don't know, blow something up, I WILL find out personally what color my eyes would be… Got it?"

"Yes Ma'am" That poor boy. He's really in for a hell of a night. I'm honestly a little worried for him.

With six minutes to kill I decided to secure some help for my best buddy. Via text.

**CAN YOU TALK TO JACOB? WHEN YOU TWO ARE ALONE?**

**CAN JANE RIDE WITH YOU?**

**NICO IS NOT GOING TO HANDLE THIS WELL. HE NEEDS TO BE PREPARED FOR THAT.**

**WHY WON'T SHE.**

**NOT THE SETTLING DOWN TYPE. SHE'S NOT GOING TO LOVE HAVING A FELIX IN WASHINGTON.**

**IF JANE CAN RIDE WITH YOU.**

**FINE ESME RIDES WITH YOU**

"Are you two texting each other?" Asked the ever-observant Emmett

"Uh huh. Important royalty stuff. Nothing to worry your pretty little head over."

"Thanks, sis. You know how I hate to do anything to mess up my pretty little head." Smart ass.

**SO I'M ROYALTY?**

**NOT YET BUDDY**

**BUDDY?**

**LOVEY? IF THAT'S BETTER I GUESS. BUT I'M SO NOT SAYING IT OUTLOUD.**

**THAT'S FINE I HAVE PROOF YOU SAID IT IN MY PHONE.**

**DAMNIT**

**LANGUAGE, LOVE?**

**DAMNIT. SORRY.**

"Okay, Esme you wouldn't mind riding with Edwardo would you? Jane's going to ride with me."

"Of course not, dear."

"Wait, why don't you like me Edwardo?" Jane asked oh-so-sweetly.

"Seriously, Jane? Duh." I answered before he could. She pouted a little but eventually we made our way into the cars. I decided I could give Nico a little heads up. I was honestly hoping nothing bad would happen to my car. I love my car. Lucky me, as usual, Nico spoke up first.

"So, Jake is pretty cute." Thank God.

"There's some things you need to know about Jake, Twin. He's… attached. Werewolves do this thing called imprinting."

"Imprinting?"

"Yes. When they find the person that they are meant to be with they know it instantly. It's definitely a love at first site thing. They become the second most important thing in their own worlds, with their imprint being the first. They can't fight it, they can't even pick who it is, it just happens."

"That sounds cool." Sluttytwinsistersaywhat?

"I SAID it sounds cool. To know that you have someone like that."

"Well, were did that come from? You're the last person I would think to consider it cool."

"Yea, well I think being around you these past couple days has turned me into some sort of lovey dovey romantic person or something. Seriously, Twin, can you turn it down a notch?"

"Sure… but I don't think it's me."

"What do you mean, Twin?"

"Promise not to hurt my car?" She nodded, "Jake… imprinted… on you" And there went the intersection lights. Lovely. At least they'll consider that one an electrical error.

"Why didn't he tell me then?"

"He was scared. It's a bit unorthodox falling for your mortal enemy and all. Daddy's going to be mad as all hell."

"Oh. Well. He'll get over it."

"No. Twin. He won't. The imprint isn't anything they ever get over."

"Not Jake. Daddy will get over it."

Okay so Nico went crazy. Two days of pretending to be crazy and it stuck to her like glue. That's the only explanation.

"Or maybe it's that I'm one hundred and nineteen years old and I actually don't mind it so much. Jake seems like a really great guy. He's very attractive too. And warm." She giggled. She giggled over Jake. Nico is totally a love 'em and leave 'em kind of girl. Without the love part.

The majority of the remainder of the ride was silent. Except for Alice bouncing up and down in the backseat singing her shopping song. Which, we found out yesterday, she wrote. When we pulled into our destination, I barely had time to get out of the car before Edward had me in an insanely possessive hug. He kept mumbling 'I'm sorry' but wasn't getting much more coherent than that. Apparently Jake clued him in to broken-blank-catatonic-Bella on the way. For which he totally got a gangster death glare.


	18. THE HUMANS ARE COMING!

People are idiots. Seriously. And I brought nine idiots shopping. Insane, I tell you. Insane. Have you ever tried on lingerie and been forced to show seven people? Oh, including lover boy's mom. Who then showed you hers. Wow. It's okay with Nico, my girls, Alice, and Rose. That's one thing. I've HEARD Rose. I've done this with Alice before. Nico and the girls and I have gotten ready for too many balls together to NOT have seen each other like this before. We've seen each other wearing less than this many, many times. But Esme? Not an experience I was completely looking forward too.

But she looked HOT. H-O-T. Seriously, go Carlisle. Remind me to go home the night she pulls that one out. Even though I will probably already be home.

Doing her son.

A-W-K-W-A-R-D.

It only got better when she started helping me pick things out. Skimpier things than what I would've already picked. Which is pretty hard to do since, like I said, I'm not shy Bella anymore. When the quasi mother in law starts picking out stripper heels to go with your teddy you know it's a close family.

Then again, this whole excursion is so I can bring my cousin-brother to his knees.

Whatever.

Speaking of which, my advice - never let Rose give you sex advice. I mean wow. The things those two do. I am no longer curious as to how they never get bored with each other. Or can't seem to stay away from each other. I'm actually a little jealous.

Alice is another story. She kept reminding Nico that if she decided to do this thing with Jake that she could not, for any reason, bite. That could lead to bad things She said it would take quite a bit of venom to actually hurt him but to be careful.

I've got Nico's advice for a century now so it didn't really phase me. It's a little different now since she's not telling me to just find someone and do it. That it was pointless to wait for love. We love once, we love for life. So just give up and find a friend. Ha, I showed her.

In all our awkwardness shopping ended up being pretty fun. Edward and Jacob's faces were priceless when we came out and loaded them down with stapled shut lingerie bags and threatened to blow up their cars if they peeked. Even more priceless when Esme did the same.

We decided on our personalities for the next time we went to school, which according to Alice, would be tomorrow. And the guys are going to be furious. We decided that we had to continue to include Carlisle unless we were doing something that would likely get him fired. I'm pretty sure we could teepee the hospital and he'd be fine. Esme, Jake, and my girls would all be in on it from this point on too. We decided to go crazy with it. Well eccentric with it. If you're poor you're crazy, if you're rich you're eccentric. We obviously can't be crazy then. Duh.

Alice, Nico, and I decided that some of our future expeditions weren't going to be so easy to find in stores. So we came to the conclusion that the only logical thing we could do would be to open a design house. Alice being Alice, by the time we headed home the only thing we had left to do was come up with a name and design the clothes.

During the car ride we initiated a game of truth or dare.

"So, Nico, Truth or Dare?" It was Jane's turn.

"Truth" Chicken.

" Are you going to get with Jake?"

"Duh. Alice, Truth or Dare?"

"Dare"

"I dare you run around the house screaming 'the humans are coming, the humans are coming' as soon as we get home"

"Grr. Bella, truth or dare?"

"Dare, duh."

"I dare you to wait until marriage with Edward."

"WHAT?" Nico and I yelled at the same time.

"You heard me."

"I don't think so, Alice. I've already waited almost a hundred and fifty years for anyone!" Whoops.

"You mean, all this time? Nobody?"

"No. No one was worth it."

"Nico?" Alice asked. Ha.

"Everyone was worth it. Right, Twin?" I said before Nico could answer.

"Shut up. Not everyone." Everyone started giggling.

"So, seriously. Were you, like, waiting on Edward?"

"No. I didn't think he wanted me, remember? Nobody else was suitable though. Nico always told me that I would only love once and it would be pointless to wait. But, HA!" I said as I gave Nico the in-your-face glare.

By the time we got home Alice was running around the house screaming, "THE HUMANS ARE COMING!" Nico was clucking like a chicken. Bridgett, Kendall, and Jane were playing chicken. The kind you play in the pool. Minus the pool and with only three people. I was looking ready to kill.

Edward and I decided to go to the meadow for a while - since my plans for the evening had been disrupted. We ran at lighting speed holding hands, staring at each other, and knocking down a few trees because we were busy staring at each other. When we finally got there we sat down by the tree. I explained to how I planted the tree so that no matter what happened we were always there. So, if he ever came back, he would know I was alive - sort of. That I waited on him. We jumped to the top and I showed him the engraving I had left him when I finally gave up.

_Forever, Eternity, Broken, Burning.  
You never wanted this for me  
It came anyways.  
It's done now.  
I'm here.  
Always for you, love.  
Always for us._

_-Italy. _

The best part came when we got to the top. We were talking and looking down at our beautiful surroundings when he expertly stood up on his branch and dropped to one knee. I could only think about one thing. Alice set me up.

"Isabella Marie Swan Volturi, I love you more than anything in this world. You are my life, my soul, my everything. I know you have only been back for a few short days but I also know how meaningless my life was without you. I couldn't stand to go another day without knowing you will be mine forever. I was stupid, I was selfish, I was too selfish. Is there any chance you could look past that and find a man you could love, even though I do not deserve it? I will spend the rest of forever making up my mistakes to you. I will spend the rest of forever making up the time we missed. There is nothing in this world that compares to the feeling of you by my side. There is nothing in this world that compares to the life you give me. I would be nothing without you, which I know all to well. Please, Isabella, Bella, my love, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

Then I tackled him.


	19. YES IDIOT YES

I kissed him for what felt like hours. Neither one of us heard the twelve sets of footsteps approaching us.

"OH. MY .GOD. ISABELLA. YOU ARE LETTING HIM OFF THE HOOK TOO EASY!" - Heidi

"BELLA!BELLA!BELLA!BELLA!BELLA!BELLA!BELLA!BELLA!BELLA!BELLA!"- Alice, Duh.

"THIS IS WONDERFUL NEWS!" - Esme

"YOU BETTER BE WORTH MY TWIN! I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU DO ANYTHING TO SCREW THIS UP I WILL DESTROY YOU!" - Nico

"OOH! CAN I PLAN IT? PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE?" - Alice again.

I giggled and Edward chuckled as he said, "Well. I think she is too, but I'm not complaining. Um…BELLA! To you as well, Alice. Thank you, Esme. And, Alice, That will only work if she says yes."

Oh shit. Did I forget that? "YES. IDIOT. YES!"

Everyone laughed and we headed back to the house. Edward carried me on his back so I could stare at the gorgeous ring. He hadn't bought it - it was his mothers, which made it all the more beautiful. I bugged Alice the entire way hoping this would cancel out the dare. No suck luck. Evil Pixie. I guess, though, since she ran around the house screaming, and Nico clucked like a chicken, it was only fair. Okay, it was far from fair. FINALLY I talked her out of it by allowing her to help plan the wedding. Woohoo for me! And Edward.

Not that I wasn't going to do it anyways. Puhlease.

When we got back to the Cullen's house I halfway expected to go home for the night. But NOOOO. I was thrown headfirst into wedding plans with Alice.

"Okay, so I have a couple venues in mind. The woman I want to design your dress is pretty booked right now, but I think I can get her to pull a few strings. I know the best caterer and florist in Seattle. We'll have to find a photographer, and I need to know what kind of music you're going to want at the wedding so we can find the entertainment. And we need to decide on your colors."

"Um. Alice, may I speak for a moment?" I know, bad Idea to interrupt wedding-crazed-Alice, but I had to.

"Well. First, I need you to understand that things aren't the same as they used to be. I know you won't mind the fact that this will not be a small affair. It won't just be us, Charlie, Renee, and a few friends." Her eyes lit up even more, "The fact is that I won't be comfortable bringing the amount, not to mention the type, of guests we'll invite to this area. The more prevalent fact is that it would never be allowed. It's going to have to be in Italy."

"ITALY! That's even better!"

"Um, love, Italy?"

"Yes, Edward, Italy. Volterra. You're going to have to accept that they are very much my family. Accept and respect that."

"I will. It's going to take me a little time to get used to but I will."

"Good. Now I need you to decide if you are going to accept that soon enough to help us plan the wedding because Nico, Alice, and I can only assume Jasper as well, are going to need to come with me to Volterra and help me decide our exact location. I would love it if you could come to."

"I think I can handle that."

"What about me?" Jake asked.

"Not such a good idea, Jake. Really. I doubt you want to be around when Nico breaks the news to Daddy. Don't get me wrong, he's always wanted her to settle down - it's the mortal enemy thing that he's going to have to get used to. Way before you meet him."

"Oh"

_Thanks, Twin. I didn't want to have to explain that to him._

_I know. We definitely need to coach him on how to act around Daddy before he could ever meet him._

_Tell me about it._

_I'm already scared enough that Edward, Alice, and Jasper have to be in the same country when you tell him._

_True. I'm scared for myself._

"Well anyways, Edward, Jake, we need to get back to our house. Girls, you need to go to wherever you've been staying while we've been gone and tomorrow afternoon we'll see about getting you set up in our house. Everybody ready?" They all nodded yes.

"When are we going to Italy, Bella?" I though for a moment but, of course, didn't get to answer before Alice said, "Oh! It's going to be sunny Friday! We can leave Thursday night."

"Okay, then, tomorrow night. Be ready. The rest of you are welcome come as well, Esme, Rose, I would love your input too. For now, we're going home. Good night everyone."

* * *

**OH, It's too short, I know. Third one today, cut me some slack. and some Review.**

**Ooooh. ?Break me off a piece of the yummy reviewness.**

**And the yummy Jasperness. That boy is yummmy (in the movie. duh.)**

**Jasper's revelation? Nobody?**

**1. Has to do with Bella and Nico's family.**

**2. I didn't say exactly which family. Well I did but...**

**3. I didn't say it was just one family. Might include info on one of the others.**

**Hmm...**

**4. Any hints could be found in Ch.1, Ch. 9, & Ch. 15.**

**It's killing you, you want to know, you know it.**


	20. Seriously It qualifies

When we got to the house we showed the men around. Jake and Nico wanted us to go swimming but I had.. err… other plans. So we told them we'd see them in the morning and headed upstairs to my wing. Which totally blew Edward's mind. However, in the sense of being all mushy we decided to continue our evening activities in my old bedroom.

Everything looked so delicate when we walked in. I hadn't been in there yet but now that I was everything looked so damn breakable. The bed, the desk, the old computer - it had all been ancient then. The window was still unlocked. Always unlocked for Edward. I could see where the floorboards had been pulled up and then pushed down. There was a slight bulge where the CD and pictures would've been. It was overwhelming to say the least. Maybe this wasn't the best idea…

"This is too much. I would hate to destroy anything in here, it all looks so … fragile. Maybe we could just talk in here for a little while, then go back to my room?" I asked him. I didn't want to break anything but I wasn't ready to leave just yet. Everything about this room screamed us. I needed to be here, with him, to finish healing. I needed to get over the pain completely and I felt that this would be the last step.

So, being the big silly losers we are, we talked. For a few hours in fact. He told be about trying to track Victoria for a few years and how useless it had been because he never could find her. I told him it was even more useless than he thought because her ashes had been in my fireplace six months after he left. I told him about Volterra and everything I had done for the past century. How I had actually come to enjoy getting dressed up for the balls and extravagant things. He mentioned that they had never been invited and I quickly reassured him that was only because too many people in the castle had wanted to kill him at the time. Even though so much had changed - nothing had really changed. We were both still undeniably us. Things had changed on the outside. He had become more recluse and I had definitely become more outspoken. All in all, though, he was still Edward and I was still Bella. We were stronger now, that's all.

We eventually retreated back to my area of the house. Let me just say right now - I love Alice. I'm going to have to let her throw an engagement party or something. Seriously. I love her for setting me up. I love her for calling off the dare. She's a really great sister.

Oh & I LOVE Esme for my stripper heels. I made cousin-brother beg. They're broken now - but I'll definitely be getting new ones.

The night was nowhere near straight out of a romance novel. It was awkward. We were unsure. Which is ridiculous - I was a century old and he was centuries old. Still, we were like two nerdy high school kids (which, I guess, technically, is a fair description).

But it was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. I mean cousin-brother is just too damn good at EVERYTHING! I can't say I really mind it though.

Stupid high school was definitely interrupting when it was time to start getting ready. Nico and I were interrupted in the middle of hair and make-up by Edward and Jacob freaking out over the outfits. Not that Jake was going to school, but we were making him play along. All of the guys were going to be wearing light pink polo shirts and faded, torn jeans. The girls were the same except our polo shirts were baby blue. Everyone had matching white sneakers and white oversized sunglasses. I'm not sure what we were going for but matching seven people had too be crazy enough. Not to mention Esme, Jake, and the girls would be matching - just not at school. We even bought Carlisle some pink scrubs. Because we're cool like that.

Jake was going to the store today while we were in school to get some human.. er… wolf food.

When we pulled up to the school for what would, hopefully, be our first full day in attendance all of the other Cullen's were waiting for us. Emmett and Jasper looked thoroughly annoyed with being forced to wear the clothes we picked out for the day. Jasper never had a chance since Alice was in on the game with us. Rose, however, was just pretending to care about the game so that Emmett would pretend to be pissed off. Which would lead to make-up sex.

I promise, that's really why she's doing it. We talked yesterday.

And because she loves me. But who doesn't, right?

We spent first period playing chess with Alice and Jasper. Alice won, duh. I'm still not sure how she gained the advantage and beat me at a game of chess in my own head but I'm not even going to try to figure it out.

I spent all of second period teasing Nico because Jake had to sleep. It really stinks for her. Ha. She spent all of third period teasing me for spending three hours talking. To which I replied, of course, that even though I spent three hours talking, I still got more than her. Ha, again.

In fourth period we ended up sitting next to a very annoying, very irritating girl. I think she thought she was the picture of perfection with all her caked on make-up and overdone hair. She should realize that if anyone in that class was anywhere near perfect - It was Nico and I. Seriously. This girl wouldn't shut up. I swear all she talked about was how cool she was. Dumb hoe. We're going to call her Stephanie. Her name is Brittany but I'm going to pretend to never remember it. Even though, unfortunately, I will never forget it. Parts of our conversation were amusing though.

"So. You're new here? I heard you had a rough couple of first days but I'm so glad I finally got to meet you! The whole school has been talking about you two!"

"Uh huh."

"SERIOUSLY! I'm so excited! I hope you have the chance to be almost as popular as me! That would be nice, wouldn't it?"

"No thanks."

"Oooh! I can't wait to introduce you to everyone at lunch!" She doesn't shut up.

"We're taken for lunch, sorry."

"Well, I'm sure you can get out of it. What are you doing for lunch? OH! You have to meet my boyfriend. We met over the summer. He's absolutely gorgeous! We're not telling anyone yet, but I'll tell you two." I found it very hard to picture this girl not telling somebody ANYTHING, let alone about her boyfriend.

"Well, honestly, we don't care."

"Well you should! Edward Cullen is the hottest guy at school! You should be jealous like everyone else!" Seriously. This little girl did not just call Edward hers. Oh no. Can you be anymore full of yourself?

"Wow that's cool, since we've been dating practically since I was born," I mean, you know, since I died but whatever, "But good for you, thinking you're dating my fiancé and all. I mean, well not technically, because we're so young but it's already been set up. That's what parents do sometimes when you're ridiculously rich. I guess you wouldn't know that though." Okay, I know, I so stooped close to her level. Whoops. I don't care. She looked like she felt like an idiot. Then, mysteriously, she started having sharp pains in her stomach and had to go see the nurse. I guess today was Jane's day for school duty. I'd have to thank her for that later. And congratulate her on learning to control it so well. That girl was only human and she survived Jane. I'm so proud. Of Jane not the stupid child.

So this Stephanie girl was going to be the most irritating waste of time this year. She wasn't going to leave me alone, I could already tell that. Without Alice. Maybe I should let Jane enroll in school… This girl was going to have me blowing shit up by the end of the semester if I was forced to hear her talk everyday.

In fifth block we found out that Alice had absolutely no intention of missing this afternoon's decorating session. Not that I ever expected her to. She was already packed for Italy and her bags were in the trunk of the car. Apparently, everyone was going. Except for Jake. Heidi and Jane were coming but Bridgett and Kendall were staying here to keep an eye out for Jake.

The more I thought about it, the more obvious it was that Daddy had lied about not knowing the Cullens were here. If he hadn't known we would have ended up having something completely ridiculous like a ballroom in our house. However, the entire third floor had been converted into a house inside of our house. It had a common area and six mini bedrooms with not-so-mini closets. It had two bathrooms one which was apparently for Demetri whenever he came back. It was almost normal size, maybe not too much bigger than a regular bathroom. The other was obviously specifically made for four girls. It was HUGE. It had four freaking showers! And I never caught on. I'm so silly sometimes, I swear.

Luckily the rest of the day passed with no glitches, or anything to make us leave school suddenly, or anymore girls like Stephanie-Brittany who claimed to be secretly dating my fiancé. That was completely ridiculous! Edward doesn't do anything secretly. He would have announced to the world if he were dating anyone. I did, however, tease him all through lunch and sixth block about his little girlfriend. And asked him how it felt now that the tables were turned and a human was stalking him. Ha. He said he never stalked me. Puhlease. Hanging out in my bedroom while I was asleep and didn't know he was there? Following me to Port Angeles? Seriously. It qualifies. Of course my sick demented mind never cared. Not even a little.

We went shopping for a couple hours and decided to let Bridgett and Kendall set up their rooms and everyone else's while we were in Italy. We bought beds for each room, except for Demetri's. We knew if he needed to use a bed he would use Heidi's, so, we just set him up a little study. We bought all of the girls a few new outfits, just to be nice, and bought Edward some things to wear on our trip. He hadn't packed since we had been… well, busy. Nico and I didn't need to pack because we lived in Volterra. Duh. There was no way we would have been able to fit even half our clothes into our new closets. We had planned on buying new stuff when we got here but Heidi and Jane had beat us to it. Regardless, our closets at home were still fully stocked. We bought televisions and stereos for the third floor. Also, a pool table, a foosball table, and several mirrors for the girls. And every gaming system we could find. Well, two of each. And a few pinball machines. But that was it. Okay, I lied. Anything we saw that caught our eye was bought. We're talking about anything Alice, Nico, or I saw. Seriously, we had to get a moving truck. Okay, it might have been like six trucks. Worth it though. Especially when I saw the look on Jake's face when he noticed the new big screen being put into what was now his study on the second floor. Study, Ha. The only thing Jake was going to study would be tonight's basketball game. Or tomorrow's hockey game.

The Cullen's met up with us almost immediately after we got back and we all headed off to a place less conspicuous for a private jet. Than my front yard. Or roof. We all had a few small conversations at the beginning of the flight but eventually we ended up spending time with our significant others. Or in Nico's case - Heidi and Jane. Rose and Emmett caused some turbulence mid-flight. That only led to Edward and I causing much more turbulence after they stopped.

And to Emmett getting mean-mugged, punched, and bitch-slapped for cheering us on the whole time. Nico and I decided that the next time him and Rose were having their private time we were going to hop into his head and start talking to him.

You know, just to cheer him on.

* * *

**So to make up for last night's super short chapter I give you today's twice as long chapter.**

**Which will probably not be the only one.**

**Do I do anything besides sit on fanfiction all day?**

**No, not really. **

**Reviewsies please, love, please. **


	21. Not An Image I wanted Edward

**Okay, I've decided. In my story - Aro never killed Didyme. Why? Cause I like my Aro and that would totally mess that up. So she died in battle. Sorry. Also, this is Edward POV. I had to do it. I thought about sidestepping this and just putting out a one-shot, but I couldn't do that. SO keep in mind - Edward's not very funny. He's thoughtful, and emotional. He CAN be funny but this was not the time. Sorry. Reviewsies.**

* * *

God. I cannot believe I'm doing this. I always pictured asking Charlie, even over the past century -every time I envisioned this - I asked Charlie. Never Marcus. I always thought of how I would be stealing Charlie's only daughter from him. Stealing the only thing that kept Renee with him. How my love would be so willing to leave them for an eternity with me. It was a blessing I could never deserve. I spent so much time convincing myself of that fact that I never realized it should have been that way. I should have been asking Charlie. I should have been stealing Bella from him - even though it would have broken his heart - because it's what she deserved. It was all she ever wanted, I was all she ever wanted. For some unknown reason, she chose me. She said yes to me. She was mine. I still cannot fathom how I came to deserve such an angel. I am still very much convinced that I don't deserve her. But here I stand… waiting on someone to allow me to talk to the brothers. To Marcus. To ask him for permission to take one of the only daughters he has ever had. The one that gave him his life back. The one who made his face light up. I never paid much attention to him before. He always looked so… bored for lack of a better word. Until the last time I saw him, that is. It HAD been well over a century before I saw him last year. I never noticed that he was gone for some reason or another. I never noticed that Aro hadn't touched me. I had thought it was strange that Aro had left so quickly to find Marcus. I just didn't think too hard about it. When Marcus came in the room with him he was different. Not the same Marcus I remembered from before. He smiled, he laughed. He had a light in his eyes that I had never even heard of him having, much less seen for myself. He spoke to me with enthusiasm and compassion. He related to me on hard it was to live without the one you love. He wouldn't grant my request though. I never understood the contradiction before. I understand now. It was for his daughter. I should have known then, only my Bella can change somebody's world like that. She changed mine, that's certain. She changed Charlie's when she decided to move to Forks in the first place. The man had always been a workaholic, a quiet man with a quiet mind. Much like Marcus. Bored, indefinitely. He had truly loved Renee and did until the day he died. And, like she saved me, saved Marcus, she saved Charlie. The difference is, Marcus is not Charlie, he will very much remain a part of her life. A part of mine. Because he is very much her father. He has cared for her, protected her, loved her the way a father does.

"Marcus will see you now," A very petite girl stuck her head out the door and motioned me in. Marcus, Aro, and Caius were all there. Shockingly Marcus looked extremely happy. Aro looked happy as well and Caius - well, Caius at least looked like he didn't mind my presence. Marcus still had that light in his eyes. That smile on his face.

"Welcome, son, I am very happy to have you and your family here. I assume though, since you are here alone at the moment, and my beautiful Isabella has not come to see me yet, that this is not a meeting simply for pleasantries?" Son?

"No sir," I said sheepishly. Holy … I was nervous! Why, how… Ugh. "I actually came to speak with you about Isabella."

"You love her. I am well aware of that fact. I see it in you now, as I did a year ago. If possible it seems even stronger now. I am unbelievably happy for the two of you! I knew I would be making the right choice in sending her to you."

"You… sent… her… to me?" I managed to stutter out. I never deserved this! This man, her father, sent her to me! Why? What compelled him to do that after so long?

"Of course, son. Isabella has always tried so hard to make us happy. Nicolette and myself… You can imagine, I'm sure, the effect she has had on our lives. Her façade though.. Was just that, a façade. I always knew she loved you, only you, although we would never talk about it. When we met with you last year - that is the first time we knew you felt the same. Had we known sooner, we would have sent her sooner. I want nothing more than for my daughters to be happy. You, son, make Isabella happy. That is undeniable."

Wow.

Amazing man. I now see why she allows him to call her his daughter. He truly is her father.

"Thank You, Sir. For everything. You have no idea what you have done for me."

"No, sadly I don't. However, I believe we have other matters to discuss?" How does this man know everything?

"Yes Sir. I hope you can excuse the fact that I asked Isabella first, had we not been in different countries it would have been different. I love her so much, as I'm sure you know. She is everything to me and I was hoping for your blessing in taking her hand?"

"Of course! Nothing would make me happier! You most definitely have my blessing. Anything the two of you need, feel free to come to me." And then Marcus hugged me. Not the fake greetings I was used to from members of the Volturi, but a fatherly hug. One to welcome me to the family. His family. I felt overcome with relief as I turned to Aro and Caius.

"Aro, Caius. As her uncles I would very much appreciate your blessings as well." Caius just nodded and then looked away again. He really wasn't very pleasant was he?

"You have my blessing as well, Edward. You mustn't keep Isabella from us though. Promise to bring her home often?" I nodded, "Well then, I would also like to mention that you may consider Volterra as much your home as it hers."

"Thank you, sir." Then Aro hugged me. A family type hug as well. In all the shock I forgot about Aro's… er… gift. He jumped back quickly with a half angry half humored expression on his face.

"Not an image I wanted, Edward." He turned to Marcus, "apparently he couldn't wait until after the wedding. No need for the chastity belt after all it seems."

Hell. I was terrified. The look Aro was giving me was incredibly threatening. At least until he and Marcus started laughing.

"I wouldn't have expected much less, Aro. Besides, that was always your idea. For Nicolette, I might add."

OH HELL AGAIN. Thank God Aro and I could communicate silently. I extended my hand to him and he took it.

_Nicolette needs to tell him this. Apart from Caius I would assume._ He chuckled

_Of course, I'll send Marcus down to see her later. This should at least be interesting._

I nodded once to Aro, then said my goodbyes to the other two. I thanked them again and I left to return to Bella.

My Bella.

Forever.


	22. Screw the Formalities

I am an unbelievably impatient person. I want my Edward back! Okay, so he's only been gone an hour or something like that. That is apparently too long. I might fear for his safety a little. Not too much. But I can only assume he ran off to be all Edward and talk to Daddy.

Nicolette, Alice, Jane, Heidi, Rose, Esme, and I were all getting dressed to go see him ourselves. It's customary, sort of, for the women to come together when they arrive and greet my father and uncles. It's not, however, customary for us to go see them in torn jeans and polo shirts. More like dresses. More like we had to go to the nines. If we hadn't been returning home we would be free to wear whatever we'd like. Unfortunately, today we had to play dress up. Nicolette and I were wearing our black formal gowns, our family jewelry, and our robes. Heidi and Jane were wearing close to the same, except in that slightly less black shade of black. Oh, and they had smaller jewelry. Why? Because we're cooler. That's why. Esme, Alice, and Rose all wore various colored gowns. They had to borrow them from us because I didn't think to tell them they would need a ball gown. Whoops. Little things like that slip my mind.

Renata knocked on the door and walked in. She hugged Nicolette first and me second – exclaiming how good it was to see us both. She motioned for us to follow her to the throne room. Which, we knew where it was, but this was all for tradition. Renata lead with Nicolette and I directly behind her, Heidi and Jane behind us, Rose and Alice behind them, and Esme in the back.

_Twin._

_Yes, Nico?_

_Seriously? Screw the formalities. That's my dad._

_I'm with you._

So we marched around Renata and took off to see Daddy. Edward was on his way out. So he was doing what I thought he was doing. At least one of us keeps up the formalities.

"DADDY!" Nico and I both ran up to him and tackled him in the biggest hug we could. "Sorry, Renata walks to slow. We missed you!" He just laughed. As we knew he would.

"I missed you too girls, very much so, although it's only been what, a week?"

"SO!"

He just chuckled again. As did Aro while Caius looked a little annoyed at our lack of following the rules. Oh, well. He'll get over it.

I walked over towards Aro to give him a hug but he avoided it. What the hell?

"Sorry, Isabella, but you have some memories that I would like to fade before I give you a hug." Shit. Right. Damnit. Edward was here.

"Well, I've missed you too, Uncle Aro." I turned to Caius and nodded my head. He did the same. That's pretty much how Caius and I say 'love you too'. We're close like that. Jerky.

"Hello, Uncle Aro." Nico spoke quietly to him. She wasn't about to try to hug him and it appeared he knew why. The glint in his eyes showed that he was entirely too amused by the situation.

"Hello, Nicolette." Yep, too amused.

"So, Daddy, why was Edward here?"

"To request our blessings for your impending marriage. I assume that is why you returned home so soon, correct? To inform me?"

"Yes, it is Daddy. A text wouldn't have worked." I smiled at him, he laughed at me.

"No, it wouldn't have. Well I am very happy for the two of you. I assume you haven't figured out many of the details yet?"

"You assume wrong. You don't know Alice." Nico said.

"We are going to come home for the wedding. It will definitely be in Italy, hopefully right here if that is okay with you?"

"Nothing would make me happier. Feel free to explore this evening for a good location."

"I will."

"I know, Isabella, trust me."

Just then Renata entered with the rest of the women. Each of them were greeted and introduced if necessary. Which, for most of them, it was necessary. Aro had been allowed to ask each person once if they would join him. Thank God Alice remembered not to say no way Jose this time. Seriously.

Then the men entered. Carlisle, Edward, Emmett, and Jasper, who thankfully forgot my catch phrase too. Marcus and Aro welcomed each of them to the family while Caius simply nodded at each one. That's a big deal for Caius.

We all talked for a little while as everyone either caught up or got to know one another. I really wanted to go back to my room with Edward but I had promised Nico I would stay with her while she talked to Daddy. Aro and Carlisle went to the library to catch up and Jasper went with them. Apparently he wanted to look into their genealogy books. Why do a bunch of vampires have genealogy books? No idea. Probably because we all had families before this. They are actually probably the best records of humanity ever kept.

No kidding.

While they did that Nico and I took Marcus back to our wing of the castle to talk. Nico was nervous as hell. I would be too if I had to start any conversation with, "Daddy, I fell in love with a werewolf."

Of course, for some reason, he knows everything. He didn't take it as bad as we thought he would but he did agree we shouldn't bring him here until Caius gets used to the idea. Apparently, he knows all about the imprint. Which made things easier. When he found out it was actually my best friend from so long ago, he was even more comfortable with it. He offered to tell Caius for us because Aro already knew. Obviously.

We decided that our entire group would go out for a hunt so we could, you know, be in a different city during that conversation. And so we did.

We talked about the wedding. Alice, Nico, Edward, and I were going to explore later tonight, or early tomorrow, the rest of the castle to find a suitable room. We didn't need much of a catering service but would at least need a small one. Whether Caius likes it or not, Jacob WILL BE at my wedding. The rest of the connections we would need were at our disposal. Large events aren't untypical for us – and we weren't exactly small spenders – so it would be easy to get a reservation on any date. We decided that it would take place over winter break so that we could enjoy time for our honeymoon. We also considered St. Marcus day but Alice said that we would be busy with something else that day. She wouldn't tell us what though. Evil Pixie.

She also apparently decided that she had to bring Christmas to the Volturi. I told her we exchanged presents in December but that wasn't good enough for her. Nothing usually is. Now, in addition to our December twenty sixth wedding, we were going to have a December twenty fifth Christmas party. So the two families could spend some more time together and give each other a bunch of crap we don't need. Basically.

FINALLY, Carlisle and Jasper called to tell us that the coast was clear. "And by the way, thank you for warning us that hell would, in fact, freeze over tonight." To which we all laughed. They didn't think it was as funny as us though. Jasper did get on the phone to tell us that he needed to speak with Nico, Marcus, and I before we went exploring later.

So we all hurried home.

To my home.

Volterra.

* * *

**Jasper's revelation is coming soon. I hope it's good.**

**Also, what will they be doing on St. Marcus day? Evil pixie didn't tell me either. :-(**

**& We have a wedding date. **


	23. There Was a Prophecy

Once we arrived to the library we found Marcus, Jasper, and Aro waiting for us. Jasper was quick to mention that his small discovery included all of us.

We were talking about.... Greek Mythology.

No, I'm completely serious.

So far we have covered Zeus and Hera. No shit. Not lying. Zeus. This is going to be a long night if all this is supposed to relate to present day.

"Aro, how much do you remember of your human life?"

"Only my sisters. I remember there was a family argument at the time and Didyme was the only one I changed." Marcus winced just hearing her name.

"Who was on the other side of the argument?"

"Delphine, who was Didyme's twin sister, and our mother."

"What was your mother's name?"

"That - I do not remember."

"There was a prophecy - in the times of the Olympians. A prophecy that Apollo would impregnate his sister, Artemis, by his mere presence. Artemis would bear no other children according to her vow of chastity and would be forced to hide these children as well. The story goes that Hera would curse these children and their bloodline. Every generation would be blessed with twins and possibly more children. However, each generation would be cursed to lose all children except one of the twins - so it would be a struggle to keep the bloodline alive."

"Okay…" We were all confused at this point.

"The oracle also stated that the first male would be named after one of Hera's sons and the twins would be named for the locations of Apollo's favorite oracles. The male and one of the twins would be lost, of course, leaving only the second female to carry the line. It was said that the curse would carry on for centuries and would not be broken until one set of twins, separated by years, would both be lost before continuing the bloodline. At this point the twins would break the curse that washed over their kind and be able to produce descendants free of their own curse. Free from the curse while unable to continue the bloodline. These twins - sent to save the race they belonged to - would bear perfect resemblance to the first set of twins."

"Where did you hear of this Jasper, certainly there is no record of it here?

"No, there is not. Actually, a woman I met during the war - the human war, before I was changed - needed an escort her back to her camp. For the first half of the trip she just stared at me, apparently thinking about something. She seemed to come to a decision of sorts before telling me what she called 'a closely guarded family secret'. According to her, it was crucial that I knew it. At the time, I thought she was crazy as a bat - it wasn't an unusual thing for the humans during the war. However, ironically, it was on my way home that night was when Maria found me. There are very few things I remember from my human life but that story comes in crystal clear. That night has been playing in my head since the day I first spoke to Nicolette and Bella. Not intentionally - but at times it was all I could think about. When we arrived here I began to remember more and more of the entire story - about the original children."

"Would you care to tie the pieces of your theory?" Aro was curious. I was curious. Nicolette was curious. Marcus definitely looked curious. God only knows if Carlisle was here Jasper would have been buckling over in pain from all the curiosity.

"Well, the reason I wanted to check your genealogy is because human records only go back so far. Every member of Renee's family follows the pattern."

"Renee was a twin." Nico stated.

"Her sister was stillborn…" I followed. This was making a little sense. Okay, it wasn't making hardly any sense but hell, I'm a vampire. With a twin sister born to a different father. Fuck it, right?

"Marcus, Aro - how much do Isabella and Nicolette look like Didyme?"

"Exactly." Was the only word they could get out.

"That's what I thought. Every generation before Renee was the same, with only one surviving child. You two share too much to be only half-sisters. Your twin connection is one thing. Your abilities match perfectly. Apollo was a god of prophetic nature, and of medicine and healing. Artemis was a goddess of childbirth, fertility, of hunting and land. I know that you two have a connection with the elements, I can only assume you have an ability to glimpse into the future - whether or not you use it - along with healing capabilities and tracking skills. Is that a safe assumption?"

We meant to say yes but the only thing either of us could do was nod our heads.

"See, what I believe is that you two would be the twins born years apart. I also believe that you look so much like Didyme because you are Delphine's direct descendants. Apollo's favorite locations were the oracles at Didyma and at Delphi. Hence - Didyme and Delphine. And that brings me to Aro," He turned towards my uncle, "I believe that you would be named after one of Hera's sons - Ares. Who, as I'm sure you all know, was the god of war - and also bloodlust."

"So what you're saying, Jasper, is that you believe my nieces and I are… direct descendents of Zeus? That seems… incomprehensible." Um. Duh.

"I agree. It's almost impossible - but if I have learned anything in my existence it is that nothing is quite impossible. It all seems to fit perfectly. It explains how the final twins, the ones born years apart, would break the curse after they were lost."

"Wait, break the curse?" Nico asked. "It speaks of two curses," she whispered, "The one on Delphine's descendants and one that washed over their kind… lost before they could carry on the bloodline."

"able to produce descendants… not carry the bloodline… sent to save the race they belonged to… Jasper?" I whispered.

"Jasper, what does this mean?" Asked Marcus.

"I believe… that possibly… we, as vampires, would be the race they belong to. Hence - not being able to carry on the bloodline."

"But being able to produce descendants." Nico and I spoke together. How could that be possible? There was no way… It's never been heard of. It makes perfect sense…

"So, you're saying that you believe Isabella and Nicolette to be able to bear children?" Marcus questioned.

"I think, yes. The story aligns too well for it to hold no importance. Nico and Bella were Renee's only children - and they never reproduced. I also believe that once they do- the rest of the women might be able to as well. In fact - Nico might be the first, followed by Bella, and then the rest."

"Why Nicolette first?" Aro and I asked in unison.

"That is only a theory. In the story the second twin was the one to retain humanity. Nicolette is the second twin. Also… possibly because Jacob still very much retains his humanity."

"So you're telling me… Not only can I possibly have children… but I'm going to have little wolfpires?"

* * *

**OKAY I literally spent forever on this chapter. Hours and hours. Digging into Greek mythology. The legend was, of course, my imagination. The rest isn't.**

**I think I'm a genius, but this took a lot of work to tie together. Please review**.

The realities of Greek mythology in this chapter:

Zeus and Leto did have twins - Apollo and Artemis. Apollo was the god of prophecies and medicine and healing. Artemis was known as a hunter, but also involved in childbirth and fertility.

Hera did get unbelievably mad over the entire situation. She forbid Leto to give birth on either the mainlaind or an island. (she found a loophole)

Artemis did have some sort of chastity vow or something to that effect. It was a wish Zeus granted her so that she would never be tied to a man.

Ares is the god of war, god of bloodlust. He would be Apollo and Artemis' half brother.

Apollo did have oracles in delphi and didyma. They were the most renowned of his oracles.

The legend is made up. Obviously. Artemis did not have three children by her brother. Hera did not have them cursed. (She, I believe, tried to have them killed...)

So Delphine is made up. The stories surrounding Aro and Didyme's births are made up. They were born sometime around 1000 B.C. According to twilightlexicon. And I'm sure Stephanie Meyer. Duh.

I am by no means an expert on Greek myth, so if I did get some of this wrong... feel free to correct and I will correct my A/N


	24. It's Because We're Special

We were freaked out. Okay, freaked out was an understatement. Children? Wolfpires?

"Jasper… You're saying that Nico and I are really related to Didyme?"

"I'm not saying anything for a fact. I am saying that it is possible you are much more a part of this family than you originally thought."

"See, Daddy, I knew there was a reason you loved us! It's because we're special!" Nico exclaimed.

"We so are! High-five twin!" So we high-fived. Then we made Marcus, Aro, and Jasper do the secret handshake – until we were ready to tell everyone. Jasper was in shock that we had Marcus and Aro clasping, grasping, and gangster hugging.

"Wait, you know this?" Jasper looked confused.

"With these two, there's not much of a way around it." Marcus chuckled.

"Yep. Everyone loves us – you know, because we're special. So, of course they know it!" We giggled.

We decided to talk to Edward and Curious Carlisle about it before anyone else. Nico wanted to talk to Jacob before we started running around telling people we were the key to their reproductive genes. You know, so we can confirm it.

Plus, we'd sound a little crazy if we started telling everyone that not only could we have kids, but once we did, so could they. Not that I'm against sounding crazy. Not at all. I trust we'll look almost as crazy when we stand up there with a little baby wolfpire to make the announcement.

Jasper took off to get Carlisle and Edward and left the rest of us to talk for a few moments.

"Nicolette, even if this is true, I do not want to risk you getting hurt. You're going to need Carlisle's full support if you even consider it. Are you planning to consider it?" Marcus asked her.

"Psh, of course! Seriously – I could not only give a gift to everyone of our kind but also have children when I'm one hundred and twenty eight? I'd be the coolest ever!"

"I want you to consider this closely, Nicolette," Aro said.

"Okay. Whatever you say. I'm probably doing it though."

"I wouldn't expect you not to. Isabella?"

"Oh yeah, I'm going to get all kinds of knocked up. After the wedding. And Nico apparently. But, yes - definitely."

"Well, girls, as long as Carlisle is willing to help – this could mean great news for everyone!" Aro exclaimed.

"Uncle Aro, can you make us a promise?" We asked together. He nodded. "Can you promise not to let this whole Greek god/ Apollo thing go to your head? Because, really, it's big enough."

Marcus erupted into laughter and Aro was scowling when Jasper returned with Carlisle and Edward. Jasper wanted to know – Oh God- what had we done to make Aro angry. We told him to calm down – we always make Aro angry. Then we asked him if he was scared Zeus might strike him down. He admitted that, yes, he may be a little afraid of that. Marcus started laughing again and then Aro joined. Nico and I, as usual, impatiently waited for them to quit acting like fools. Seriously, they ARE supposed to be more mature than that.

Poor Carlisle and Edward looked so confused! I almost felt bad for them. I would have if I had not known them well enough to know they would be ecstatic in only a few moments.

_Twin_

_What?_

_New school personality for Monday_

_What?_

_I'll tell you later_

_Ugh._ That girl is frustrating sometimes.

_You know you love me._

_I guess._

_Psh._

"So, what is the meaning of today's secret meetings?" – Curious Carlisle, of course.

"Well," Nico said, "Apparently, Bella, Aro, and I are descendants of Zeus."

"And Nico is going to have little wolfpire children."

"Then Bella is going to have little Edwellas." Edwellas?

"So we need your help. First, if this is all true, we're going to need a doctor."

"Second, if it isn't true, Jazz needs some psych help. Actually, that might be the case anyways."

"So, what do you say?" We asked Carlisle together.

"I say… Explain." Is it possible to make Carlisle think more than he already does? If it is we so did it.

So we explained to him the entire story. I'm not sure if he was happier about the fact that Jasper figured this out all on his own – or the fact that if we actually did reproduce it was likely the rest of the women could as well.

Edward looked so excited I thought he was going to burst at the seams. That would really put a damper on the situation since, according to Jasper - crazy-guy/possible genius - he was as much a key player as Jacob. Something about true mates and the fates. Or something. I quit listening and retreated to my own thoughts when I noticed Edward staring at Jasper the way any other man would be watching the fourth quarter at the Super Bowl. I figured he would clue me in later. Carlisle was severely interested – mostly because there aren't many things he doesn't know or legends he hasn't heard. They all came to the conclusion that the lady probably was as crazy as Jasper had thought. Also, they seemed to think that the crazy people are generally the ones who get it right. The story connected too much with our own lives for everyone to dismiss it. It was too weird to blow off considering the woman told Jasper, of all the people she knew, and that I met Edward and lost Edward - only to find my sister and Marcus.

"So, where should we begin our research?" I asked.

"Well, Twin, I think I need to go do Jake some more." Nico replied calmly.

Jasper, Edward, and Carlisle stared at her with their jaws wide open. "Fangs, people," I reminded them and they quickly recovered.

"How can you say that in front of your father?" Edward asked.

"Um, because Daddy knows I'm a floozy. Seriously, Edwardo? I've been alive for over a century. He knows I've gotten some. Besides, you're the one who gave Uncle the mental picture of you and Bella."

Right, I forgot about that.

I slapped him.

"Oh, right. Sorry about that again, Aro."

Aro just nodded.

"WHAT THE HELL?" I shouted.

"What?"

"You gave my uncle a mental picture of us and you apologize to HIM? Use your brain Edward."

"Oh, I'm sorry to you too. I just forgot to say that part."

"Uh-huh. See if I give you any Edwellas."


	25. MINE

After I made it perfectly clear I would not be naming anyone Edwella, Carlisle began to theorize himself. He told Nico that even if she and Jacob could reproduce she still shouldn't have to worry about any wolfpires. He came up with three different theories about what could happen. One – She would give birth to a vampire that could possess some shape shifting skills. Two – She would have a human baby that may or may not turn on its own at some point. Three- She would have a human baby that would have both traits of our kind and traits of its Quileute father.

So, basically, there's a two-thirds chance she'll have a wolfpire. He's just too nice to call it that.

As far as Edward and I were concerned – he was fairly certain that we would basically have a baby vampire who would grow to a certain point of maturity. Mine would be the most crucial learning experience. The growth rate, predictable outcome, and overall what-to-expect would come from me.

Why? Because not many of us run around doing werewolves. Obviously.

The announcement would need to be made as soon as we found out we were pregnant. The entire explanation of the story. Until that point, however, we decided not to let anyone know. Carlisle and Jasper weren't happy about keeping anything from their wives.

Luckily, I had the perfect distraction.

So before we separated we came up with our cover story. We compiled a guest list to back up our lie about the reason for our meeting.

Alice was ECSTATIC. Alice, being Alice, was even happier that she only had three weeks to plan it. Normally, people do not get excited about that fact but then again, nobody ever called Alice normal. We toured the castle that morning and chose our locations. We headed home early considering we would be back in only a few short weeks.

Sure enough, Rose and Emmett disappeared to … er, cause some turbulence.

_Woo! Go Emmett!_

_You can do it big guy!_

_Oh, Emmett you're not doing that again, are you?_

_Oh, Emmett, she doesn't even like that!_

_It's true, she told me yesterday._

"WHAT. THE. FUCK. GET. OUT. OF. MY. HEAD!"

Nico and I busted into a fit of giggles. Emmett was furious. Rose wasn't too happy either but we ignored it.

Since we were the key to making her dreams come true and all.

Everyone looked confused, and honestly, this time we just left it this way.

_Twin_

_Yes_

_That was awesome._

_Yes it was._

_We should extend his sentence._

_Why?_

_Just for fun._

_Okay._

"What are you thinking about, love?" Edward asked.

"I'm not thinking. I'm talking to Twin."

"Can I ask about what?"

"You sure are nosy Mr. Cullen."

"Well, You sure are interesting Miss Volturi." He didn't even stutter on Volturi!

"Are we playing copy cat or something?"

"Are we playing copy cat or something?" Oh. That's mature.

"Seriously?"

"Seriously?" He looked entirely too amused with this. Stupid, good-looking, idiot vampire.

"This isn't funny."

"This isn't funny."

"Edward Cullen! Cut it out."

"Edward Cullen! Cut it out." How does he mimic my voice so perfectly?

"Quit being a fucktard."

Silence.

"HA! You would never say that to me!"

"HA! You would never say that to me!"

Oh, this is going to be a long plane ride…

I moved over and sat down next to Alice. We began to plan the engagement party and I pretended to ignore the fact that Edward was still copying everything I said. Oh, and lucky me (cue: sarcasm), Irina happened to be a photographer- well it was a hobby. A hobby with a studio, lights, and professional cameras. We couldn't exactly go to Seattle for our engagement pictures. We were supposed to be sophomores in that area so we didn't need engagement pictures going around. That did not, in any way, mean I was excited about the situation.

Let's just say I've heard stories about Tanya. If they are true - things are definitely going to get blown up.

By the time we landed back in Washington we had most of the party planned. Actually, Alice, once again being Alice, had managed to get the supplies for invitations before we left Italy. So those were done.

We had been in Volterra for less than two days and it felt like it had been ten. It was weird how I had actually missed Forks a little. That was definitely a new feeling. A new feeling I only got to enjoy for about five minutes before Alice threw me and Edward into a car and headed towards Alaska. Invitations would apparently need to be sent Monday. This left the remainder of the weekend to get the pictures taken.

Yes. I was gone for over one hundred years. I come back for one week and I'm getting my engagement pictures taken today.

Let's not forget talking about getting pregnant.

We were driving to Alaska. For engagement pictures. What else is there to talk about besides the future, right?

So I told Edward I wanted to build a mote around our next house. He asked why.

"Because Motes are cool, Duh."

"Well, should I acquire a dragon for you too, Princess?"

"No, just the mote."

"Well I would like a baby dragon."

"Well I don't. Just the mote."

"Why no dragon?"

"I SAID NO DRAGON. GET OVER IT ALREADY!"

"No dragon, no mote."

"I am so building the mote. Where would you get a dragon this time of year anyways?"

"England."

"No, they're out of season."

"Season? For dragons?"

"Of course... they mate in winter so we're too late."

"Oh. Well then, next time we need to move when there's plenty of baby dragon population "

"NO DRAGON!"

"Why not!"

"Because I said so."

"Ugh, Fine."

The ridiculous banter went on like that for the duration of the trip. Alice would jump in occasionally and vote for the mote and against the dragon. We all knew damn well that there would be no mote. We were all at least partially positive that dragons did not exist. It still seemed to take forever to get there. It seemed like we would never get there.

Note to self: Don't expect time to fly when you're talking about getting a pet dragon - that's the first sign of boredom.

Finally, and I mean finally, we arrived to meet the Denali coven. Everyone came outside to meet us. I figured out who was who easily by the descriptions Edward and Alice had given me on the way.

He warned me that she was persistent.  
He warned me that she didn't like to lose.  
He warned me that she probably wouldn't give up.

He did not warn me that she would kiss him.

Before he could even push her away fully I was in between them. I was literrally snarling and growling, ready to lunge.

"MINE" I spat out. I had turned completely instinctual and I was ready to rip her head off. Twice. "MINE" I said again. If I had a mirror I'm sure I would have seen my eyes go from golden to pitch black in a matter of semi-seconds. Tanya barely had time to return my snarls and growls before I lept towards her. Quickly, Edward wrapped his arms around me protectively and Tanya's sisters did the same to her. "MINE," I was seriously loosing my vocabulary.

I fought Edward off with everything I had. She is so lucky he is stronger. All I could think about was how good she would smell burning. Edward was mine. He would always be mine.

* * *

**Okay, now I'm definitely getting bitch slapped by Tanya. There's no avoiding it. Wish me luck guys. I'm going to need it. **

**You guys, as always, are awesome. I feel elated. I think. **


	26. What Did You Do To My Room?

I was still trying to break free of Edward's hold when Alice stepped over to help him. Traitor. I decided if they wouldn't let me free I would fight with my mind. Out of nowhere, Tanya slammed into a tree. I was starting to concentrate on pulling her hairs out one by one when Alice decided to talk me down. You know, before I blew her up.

_Bella, calm down. _She called out through my mind. Instantly, I connected with her to let her know a very important fact.

_He's mine._

_I know. That's why we're here, remember that._

_Mine._

_Breathe, Bella._

_I'm going to kill her._

_Breathe, Bella._

I took in a deep breathe. Her scent was all over him. I snarled again – this time even louder than before.

_Okay, Bella, DO NOT breathe._

Tanya was facing me snarling equally as fiercely. That. Slut. Tried. To. Take. Mine.

"Tanya, we should go hunt." Kate told her.

"No." Tanya hissed back.

"Yes, Tanya, now. You're wrong this time. Let's go!" Tanya reluctantly listened to her sister and they bounded towards the woods. I watched her until she was out of sight. Then I blew up a few trees.

"I'm sorry, Irina. I realize this is your home – we shouldn't have disturbed it." Alice was saying the words I was thinking.

"No, I'm sorry. Bella, Edward - Tanya shouldn't have done that." Irina spoke for the first time. She looked ashamed of her sister. I definitely would be. Tramp.

"No kidding." Edward said. I growled again just thinking about it.

"Maybe I should come down to Washington tonight and we could do your pictures there? I have a feeling it's not going to work out here."

"That would be a good idea. Leave Tanya here, okay?" Alice asked.

"Of course."

After all of that driving, all the ridiculous talk about motes and dragons, we weren't even staying! Tanya couldn't control her stupidity for five freaking minutes! There was no way I was letting this go.

On the drive home I would occasionally growl when I remembered what just happened.

"Yours, huh?" Edward had been teasing me like this for a while now. Idiot.

"Yes. Mine. She's lucky Alice was there to talk to me. I was fully intent on killing her. I'm still debating it. Now shut up." He chuckled.

"I thought it was cute." What?

"What the hell are you talking about, Edward?"

"Your possessiveness." UGH.

"She'll be lucky if I don't go back and do what I want to."

"You can't do that, Bella." Stupid Alice. Always interrupting. Annoying little fortune cookie.

"AND WHY NOT?"

"Carlisle."

DAMNIT! I hope all of Carlisle's friends don't go around constantly pissing me off. Eventually, I would be in a situation where there wasn't anyone to stop me. Honestly - I love Carlisle. I guess I probably shouldn't kill his extended family. No, that wouldn't sit well at all.

Tanya's still a tramp though.

"Edward, you need to shower before we do the pictures or else Bella's going to have her lips curled back and teeth bared in all the pictures." Alice said.

"That probably wouldn't be pleasant." He agreed. Gee, you think? Because I know if I got invited to a party where the guest of honor was snarling in the picture – I would so want to go.

We arrived home and Alice said Irina was only about thirty minutes behind us. Which gave Edward about fifteen to shower – he still had to get ready all over again.

We heard Irina pull up right as Edward walked down the stairs looking oh-so-dashing all over again. We wouldn't have the studio down here so we decided to take the pictures in our meadow. We got a few really good shots with several good poses. Alice's favorite was one of us lying in the grass just staring at each other – it was actually a pretty intense picture; Irina is very good. She took another of us sitting on a branch of my –our- tree together cuddled up in bliss. The picture we decided to go with was the one were we recreated the proposal. It was a very artistic idea from Irina. Of course, no humans should probably ever see it because we were at the top of an insanely tall tree and he was kneeling on one knee on top of an extremely weak branch. I was balancing on the branch opposite to him on one tip toe with other leg swinging behind me as if I was falling into him. No human, especially not human Bella, would be able to pose like that. Irina was great and I decided I really liked her – even if her sister was a dirty whore.

By the time we returned from the meadow to the Cullen house, Alice had converted Edward's room into a dark room. Go figure. She told us that she saw a nomad coming to visit us on Monday. Well, coming to visit them. That's why we had to get invitations for the party done by then. She could see him agreeing to take out the invitations so we had to develop the pictures as soon as possible and finish assembling the invites.

To me it was just Alice being Alice. To Edward, well, Edward was furious.

"ALICE! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY ROOM? YOU COULD HAVE USED ANY OF THE GUEST ROOMS! WHERE DID YOU PUT MY MUSIC? MY STEREO? YOU BETTER HAVE BEEN CAREFUL, MOST OF THAT IS IRREPLACEABLE."

"WELL, Edwardo, I put your stuff in your new study at Bella's. I figured you wouldn't care since you're moving in with her!"

"Um, I am?"

"I figured you knew. Bella already decided about your study! You didn't agree to move in?"

He shook his head. He looked pretty confused. Oh, well.

"Well, how was I supposed to know you hadn't technically agreed yet?" She asked.

"Because I haven't technically been asked yet," He responded. He really is a slow learner.

"Geez, Edward. Keep up. Of course you're moving in. Duh. Hell, Jacob's already moved in. It's funny how I used to think you were so smart but you've really been proving that theory wrong lately." Alice giggled when I said that.

"Oh, well. Okay then." That's it? I love how he doesn't question anything. I always act like he just missed something big but he just goes along with it.

YAY! I wear the pants!

* * *

**Edward's moving in w/ Bella for the rest of the time in Forks. **

**Reviewsies**


	27. Emmett Would've Done it

We went hunting before we before we went home to see how Jake had taken Nico's revelation. Which, I already knew how Jake would take it – he'd be glowing worse than we glittered.

And I was right.

Alice and Jazz were going to come by later to hang out while we waited on school. Ugh. School. For the time being it was only Nico, Jake, Edward, and I sitting around the family room being bored out of our minds.

"So, Jake, you're almost human. Can you help me out? I was wondering something." Nico asked.

"Um, sure…"

"Okay. Say there's a set of human parents right?" He nodded. "And they have a human teenager right?" Nod. "Well, who do you think they would choose as a friend for said teenager – someone who drinks, smokes, and parties- OR- a well behaved, smart, clean-cut kid who just happens to occasionally want to suck them dry?"

"Wait, what? Why would you ask that?" Edward asked her.

"Curiosity, duh."

"Question for you Nico," Jacob said, "HAVE you ever sucked someone dry?"

"Er... Better question Jake. What's your favorite country song?"

"I hate country."

"Pop"

"Hate it."

Armed with this information and about an hour to kill before the other two got there we decided to do the only sane thing we could think of and start singing. Country and pop. With a little 'bump'. This is what we call the psycho-twin-karaoke-song-mix. It's pure awesomeness if you ask me. Also – it should sufficiently annoy the hell out of Edward and Jake. Which is always fun.

So we took turns singing different lines to random songs.

"Wasting away again in Margaritaville.... Searching for my lost shaker of salt."

"Ah, the sun is blinding. I stayed up again. Ah, I am finding. That's not the way I want my story to end."

"Every morning, she wakes up, knock, knock, knock on the door, It's time for makeup, perfect smile, It's you they're all waiting for"

"You get the best of both worlds, hanging out take it slow, then you rock out the show."

"They see me rollin' they hatin, patrolling they tryin to catch me ridin dirrty."

"PLEASE STOP?!?" (Jake)

"I be like, I love my baby mamma – I never let her go."

"Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got, I'm still, I'm still Jenny from the block, used to have a little now I have a lot"

"Seven jeans, true religion, I say no but they keep giving – so I keep on taking"

"Carrying your love with me – West Virginia down to Tennessee I'll be moving with the good lord's speed –"

"HELP!"(Edward)

"Saturday night, my baby by my side, a little Hank Jr. and a six pack of light."

"Two trailer park girls run round me outside round me outside."

"So I made her the queen of my double wide trailer with the polyester curtains and the redwood deck."

"I've begged and pleaded in true lover's fashion. I've got pride, I'm taking it for a ride, bye bye, bye bye, my baby-"

"I'm doing this tonight, you're probably gonna start a fight, I know this can't be right-"

"I don't care who you are, where you're from, what you did as long as you love me"

"And IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII will always lovvvve youuuuuu"

"How did you get to me - no one else on earth, could ever hurt me, break my heart the way you do-

We carried on like that until Alice and Jasper 'rescued' them. They weren't very thankful though because Alice knew what we were doing to them and decided to take her time. Annoying little pixie kicks butt right now.

So we talked. We played Monopoly. Jake lost horribly. We played video games. We watched a movie – a rather lame one at that. We did the guys' make-up. Then made them wash it off so we could start over. We TRIED to bribe them to wear it to school like that but no such luck. Emmett would have done it.

We headed over to the Cullens to get ready for school. Why not get ready at home? Two reasons. One- the nomad should be coming over before school and Alice needs to ask him to deliver a few invitations. Two- Nico had her super-secret-shopping bags that no one was allowed to look at until we were getting ready.

I can't wait.

I thought her idea was pure genius. I was the only one though. Greek gods would be our theme of the day. What does that mean? It means that seven golden eyed, pale people would be walking around Forks high school in togas. Now Nico and I already had black ones (don't ask) and she had purchased various colors for the rest of them. Esme was instructed to wear hers at home and, I quote, "We WILL know if you do not do it."

We were in black, Alice and Jasper were in baby blue, and Rose and Emmett were in red. Esme, Carlisle, and Jake would be in white. Although, Carlisle would only wear his for a couple hours since the scrubs are required for the hospital.

We were going to call each other by the letters of the Greek alphabet. Just to toy with Jake we decided Carlisle would be Alpha, and Jake would be Beta. I think they were secretely going to switch names back after we left though. Of course, for all I know they could be calling each other Carlisle and Jake all day. I like to pretend they play along.

Just before we were about to leave we heard our visitor approaching. Nico and I peered out the window to see if we knew him. We both gasped when we realized that we did.

Shit, we're going to ruin the togas.

_Alice._

_Yes?_

_Invite the nomad inside and stall him._

_Um, why?_

_No time. Do it. Tell Edward to come a mile out to the northeast._

_Okay..._

_Do not let him leave_

_Okay._

Nico and I, with all our non-experience in stealth, managed to slip out the window unheard. We snuck back to where we were supposed to meet Edward and called Jane. It didn't take long before both Edward and Jane were by our sides and we were all slipping into black robes. Yes, even Edward. He looked S-E-X-Y in it by the way.

"Bella, what happened?" Edward asked.

"I don't have time to explain," I looked at Jane, "Alexander." She nodded and turned to Edward to relay the message while we finished putting together our ensembles. Edward began to clench his fists and his lips formed a tight line - if I hadn't been paying attention he would've taken off without us.

"Edward, wait. He's strong. We have a plan for a reason." He sighed and waited - very impatiantly - without unclenching anything.

We went over the plan and took off back towards the house. Edward and I slipped through the front door almost without making a sound. Carlisle, Alice, and Alexander turned to us and our victim gasped when he saw my face.

"Hello, honey." I said calmly. Which did not help with the Edward situation.

"I thought I'd never see you again." Nico mimicked my tone from the back door. Alexander whipped around and looked like he might go into shock. If that were possible.

"I've missed you, you know." I continued.

"It's so sad we have to end on these terms."

"W..What do you mean?" He stammered, not sure where to look.

"You've broken the rules." Nico replied.

"Daddy does say hi, however." Our word relay was really creeping him out. That was the point.

"W..W... What rule?" He asked.

"I'll find one." I said.

"Who.. is... your father?"

"My father? Charlie Swan. Her father? Philip Dwyer. Our father? Marcus Volturi." His eyes went wide.

"Marcus...?"

"Oh, you've met him?" Nico said innocently.

"Then I assume you've met our Uncles Aro and Caius." I said in a matching tone.

He just nodded. He was scared beyond words. We can have that effect when we want to.

"That's great! Should we tell them you said hi?" He nodded again.

"Alice, can you start a fire please?" I called out. Jasper was already doing that in the backyard but I wanted Alexander to hear it.

"Oh, have you met our cousin Jane?" Nico said. He turned around quickly as Jane stepped into the doorway with that wicked grin on her face. It took the smallest of moments before he was on the ground. We let Jane hold that on him for at least twenty minutes - after all, it's been a while since she was allowed to do it. Once we were sure he had almost went through enough pain we both walked up to each side of his body and began _slowly_ tearing off body parts - saving the head for last. Sure, we could've gotten rid of him within a second but he deserved so much more.

Nico and I put each piece in the fire and watched until there was nothing more than a pile of ash.

"Hey, Twins?" Jasper called.

"Yea?"

"Remind me never to piss you off."

"Okay, Jazz."

"Um... Bella? Nico? Who was that? And um, why did we burn him?" Carlisle asked. He didn't look to happy about what just took place. Then again, none of us expected he would be. Nobody told him what was going on because, well, he probably would have just made him apologize or something.

"I'm sorry Carlisle I know you don't like to destroy people - or things," I said looking at the fire with disgust, "But that was the one that killed Renee and Phil." He just nodded his head in understanding.

"Well, although it's been an... interesting morning, you all need to get to school." We all just nodded and began to head out the door. "You might want to remove your robes before you get there." Right.

At least we didn't ruin our togas.

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**So - next... Togas at school? Maybe...**

**Oh, & btw - you guys are all awesome. I'm not lying - your words make me feel all bubbly. **

**Thank You.**


	28. Oedipus

**As some of you may know, twilam has proposed to my story. I wanted to give story a chance to relay the answer where everyone could see it.**

**Story: _YES! YES! YES! Oh my God, I thought you'd never ask! I would never ask you to give up other fan fictions. That would be so selfish of me! It was so sweet of you to ask Author first. That is so you though, always doing the right thing!_**

**There you have it, story said yes. Everybody clap and congratulate.**

* * *

"Good morning I, N, Nice of you to join us." The art teacher said when we walked in.

"Good Morning Mrs. Art Teacher Ma'am," We replied together.

"But, I believe you have our names wrong." I corrected her, "I am Alpha."

"And I am Omega." Nico continued. Okay, so _technically_ those are not the names we agreed on but we thought more about it on the way to school - and, well, we just couldn't resist. We didn't exactly change it completely. I mean we had to choose between making Jacob be Carlisle's Beta and calling ourselves Alpha and Omega all day. Really? We couldn't choose between the two. So Carlisle and I would both be Alpha.

The teacher took in our appearance for the first time and her lips began to twitch. I knew I liked this teacher.

"Well, who am I to disrupt your creativity? Take your seats please." Seriously? We actually get to wear togas around school? Neither one of us actually thought this would fly. The entire class period we said there mindlessly twirling our brushes around the canvas, creating masterpieces of course. Except when we realized that Nico had accidentally recreated the Mona Lisa. Perfectly. We had to do the time pause thing and dispose of the 'evidence'. It's one thing to be a ridiculously good artist - it's another to replicate a painting down to every line, shadow, and aging mark. Especially when said painting is in another country and locked up tight.

The first text I received came exactly seven minutes after class has started.

ME AND JAZZ GOT THE BOOT. SEE YOU AT YOUR HOUSE WHEN YOU GUYS DO TOO?

SURE THING - IT'LL PROBABLY BE AT LEAST NEXT PD THOUGH. ART TEACH THINKS ITS FUNNY.

K

Shockingly enough nobody else reported a 'toga situation' - as we called it - through the remainder of the class. The next block was gym and we actually had to change out this time so, unfortunately, no getting kicked out of that one. I was told to sit out after 'accidentally' aiming a dodge ball directly at Stephanie-Brittany's face. Broke her glasses. Twin was awful proud of me. When we got back to the locker room we saw the next text.

NO TOGAS AT SCHOOL. SEE YOU AT HOME.

Lovely, Edward was gone too. Damnit, now I'm going to start pouting about him too? I need to get a grip before I start wearing sundresses all the time. Grr…..

We were flat out counting on the lit teacher enforcing dress code. He really couldn't stand us that first day. Unfortunately, he looked amused by our attire. Even more amused when we told him he needed to call us Alpha and Omega. Idiot. What changed between then and now? One look at the chalkboard gave me my answer : 'Oedipus.'

Are they fucking serious? We're going to be the only ones stuck here all day!

So was I surprised to get to history and find out we were studying the Trojan War? Not in the least.

At lunch Rose, Emmett, Nico, and I were twiddling our food as if nothing was out of the ordinary. Three of our usual (i.e.: unusual) group had already been sent home and four remained. Rose was perfectly content to walk around dressed like a Greek goddess with her own personal Greek god on her arm. Go figure. Emmett, well if Rosalie is happy - Emmett is happy. Enough said.

"So, little sister, I hear you reverted to cave-human-Bella the other day. What was that about?" Before I could even think about it a growl escaped my lips. Luckily it was low enough that no one beside the three I was with could hear.

"Tanya," I spat, "And I DON'T want to talk about it."

"You know, that's what I love about you, little sister," He continued anyways, "Everything is always so repetitive around here. So boring. Without you, anyways. One week and you've already ignored the treaty, got a werewolf to lick you -twice-, got another werewolf to tackle Alice, went off on Edward - basically for being sad that you died, flown us to Volterra, almost beheaded our cousin, and burned a vampire in the back yard."

Ha, I guess he was right.

"There's never a dull moment with Twin," Nico said proudly.

"As if I'm the only one. Hmph." - That was my clever response. Literally, the best I could come up with.

"Regardless, it's nice to have you back." Awe, my big brother loves me!

"It's nice that to know that you will always be Emmett." He looked so proud. Until Rosalie laughed and he caught full meaning of what I just said. I didn't mean it was a good thing. I meant he would continuously be a pain in the ass. Which I loved him for - but I am so not going to tell him that. That's like feeding his ego, encouraging, enabling, etc. That is also the last thing you want to do to Emmett.

When lunch was finally over I took comfort knowing there was absolutely no way biology could relate to ancient Greece. Thank God I was right and we finally got sent home to change.

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**Sorry it's so short by the way. Feel free to be upset but I have work tomorrow so I have to get up early. That also means I'll be writing more tomorrow - what with my job being so demanding and all. (sarcasm - my job is far from demanding. which only fuels my addiction)**

**Reviews!**


	29. My Big Brother

I decided that tomorrow we should actually attend a full day of school. For the second time in a week. That was pathetic, really. It might have had something to do with the fact that Carlisle called and told us we were interfering with their 'inconspicuousness' or something. It certainly didn't have anything to do with me longing to sit through biology or psychology. Seriously – what high school offers advanced psychology? The students here would be likely candidates to NEED it, not practice it. I'm sure the teachers were smart though, right? Probably, if you ignore the fact that I am like three times their age.

All of us, Cullens and Volturis, went out into the forest to play hide and seek. Nico and I were very childish in our games but we had good reason. Such as hide and seek – it's a game that allows us to honestly let out the predator inside of us. The scent, the chase, the speed – it was truly an amazing feeling. We got a few ridiculous laughs when we suggested it. Emmett understood immediately so we didn't have to explain it to him. Jasper looked as if we had just suggested grabbing some guns and playing war. Wait… we so have to do that sometime. Jane, Heidi, Bridgett, and Kendall already understood our reasoning. After explaining it to the rest we all went out to play. I had a feeling that Jakey was definitely going to loose first. He would be the first scent we picked up and the natural one to follow. That really sucks for him. The winner would definitely be between Nico and I. Edward is a horrible tracker, and although the rest of his family is better than him, it's not by much. Jane was never very good at this game. Heidi might have picked up a few tricks in Demetri's pants but she still wasn't great. The other two girls – well, really, they aren't very good at anything. I'm still not sure why we keep them around. I think that Bridgett reminds me of Angela sometimes. Nico and I both have a soft spot for Kendall. Those two girls have never actually BEEN to Volterra. We found them quite a few years back we were running and playing in the woods, on a hunt no less. It looked like they had been camping with their parents – later we found out they were Kendall's parents – and an animal had came through wreaking havoc. Of course, it had been no animal. We could tell that very clearly. Kendall and Bridgett were lying on the ground writhing in agony while both the father and pregnant mother lay dead beside them. We had Demetri and Heidi come immediately so Demetri could get us going in the right direction before we sent him and Heidi away with the girls. They couldn't go back immediately – which is how I own a house in the woods somewhere but have no idea where it is – so Jane was the only one watching the Cullen's. Which was scary. That is why the girls were offered their jobs in the first place. It didn't take Nico and I long to find the idiot that killed a pregnant woman and left two soon to be newborns in the woods alone. That is breaking two separate rules – and breaking one of them twice. We made him pay. It was pure torture. No, nobody else would have been as mean most likely but he hit a sore spot.

"Well, I found the first Twin; does that mean I'm the winner, again?" I heard a familiar voice shout up to me before he bounded into the tree to greet me.

"Demetri! I was just thinking about you."

"Aren't you always?"

"Cocky, much?"

"Usually." This is what it's always like between us. It only gets worse when Nico is around.

"I'm getting married."

"To who?" I lifted one eyebrow to him. Smartass, "OH! See, I though maybe you were hanging out up here just to watch him or some shit. You know, going all emo like he always does."

"Shut up you little shit"

"Hey, I'm older than you!"

"I'm way cooler though"

"Think so?"

"I know so."

"Interesting. Did you give it up yet?"

"Yea… Esme bought me stripper heels."

"I could see that."

"I don't even want to know why."

"You're right, you don't. I am rather nosy." Pervert. Then again… Esme could have knocked any man in the room out the other day. Still, pervert. "So, you avoid him for a century and then agree to marry him within a week of seeing him? That's awesome – even for you Bella-ella."

"Thanks. Have you got to Heidi yet?"

"Found her first. She's still back at the house panting and stuff. So I came to find you."

"You're such a whore Demetri."

"Yes, and apparently I'm rubbing off on you. FINALLY! I am happy for you, little sis, you know that right?"

"Thanks. I know."

"So what's the game plan for all of us minions now that her highness is running off with prince charming?" I rolled my eyes at him for that one. Idiot.

"It's up to you guys. You can stick around or you can go back to Volterra – I know how you miss it there," I teased, "It'll be boring around here – probably not much to do except cash checks and what not." That was a lie - we didn't use checks - we used plastic. It got the point across though. I didn't want any of them to leave. Not yet, anyways.

"Who else knows you're back?" I asked.

"Carlisle." Carlisle? Why? He must have seen my confused look because he quickly gave me the best answer I was going to get. "Don't worry your pretty little head about it, just had to relay a message from your uncle." Right. Because there's no chance that message had anything to do with me. "Are you happy?" He asked.

"Beyond words." I whispered.

"You're not going to turn into a sap on me, are you?" He teased.

"Not a chance. I still have to beat the shit out of you guys for tricking me."

"If you must, master." He rolled his eyes. Demetri really is one of my closest friends. I loved the fact that he took my title about as seriously as I did. Even if he was an irritating little devil whore. "So where's the man of the hour?" He asked.

"About two miles south of here." Not that he didn't know.

"You should go find him and drag him into the river."

"Um... Why?"

"Trust me," He smirked, "It'll be worth it." I saw the wicked glint in his eyes and took off. I somehow doubt that Demetri could be wrong about that. Demetri would be the one to know.

Well, Him and Nico.

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**Story is being a big loser and cuddling with twilam in the corner. It's annoying, really. **

**I like my Demetri. Of course, I like all of them. Except Caius. But he still loves me.**

**And I still love reviews.**


	30. Too Easy

My feet silently swept across the branches as I tiptoed towards my prey. I was undetected. With every breath I took the scent was overpowering. It was calling me, creating a path for me to follow. _Too easy, _I thought as I shook my head and grinned wickedly.

I was closing in. I could hear the water splashing, the animals scattering, the treetops rustling in the wind. I could see my victim finish it's own prey. It was truly a sight to behold - nothing is more intense than nature itself. It's the beauty of the hunt. Every impulse takes over. Every need becomes known. Every instinct calls out to the predator inside. The sight captivates you, draws you in. The feel of nature in it's entirety surrounds you - it is, after all, the one force that's still bigger than you. The sound of fear rings loudly throughout the forest. The taste of the air hangs heavy in you're mouth, dripping with anticipation of the taste to come. The scent is the strongest. It overwhelms every other sense and only fuels the hunger.

I inhaled one last time and it captivated me. The sweet, sweet smell was so close - there was no stopping it now. My eyes darkened with hunger.

I pounced. Silent and graceful, he didn't see me until it was too late.

I indulged my every desire. There was no resistance. The onyx of his eyes only matched the hunger in mine. As I made every need, every want known, he complied. I slowly pulled him into the river, consuming each other the entire way, and, damn, Demetri was right. Everything intensified as felt the soft waves crash against our stone bodies. It got to the point that the moans, whimpers, and whispers I managed to put out were not enough. He had no idea what he was doing to me at this very moment. I connected to him and let him hear every unedited thought running through my mind. Every inappropriate word, sick and twisted fantasy, soft sentence of love and lust only served to increase our reactions.

I fucking owe Demetri.

"Language, love." He chuckled as we lay on the river bank.

I quickly dropped our connection and smirked, "better?"

He rolled his eyes. We laid there in peace for all of about five seconds..

"YOU DID NOT JUST DEFLOWER MY SISTER? Can't you keep your pants on even for a few minutes, Romeo? And Isabella, I thought you promised me you wouldn't turn into a lovey eyed staring idiot?" Demetri's voice rang loud through the forest. Edward jumped up and quickly threw what was left of my clothing at me but all I could do was laugh. Edward scowled at the fact that my nake-tivity didn't discourage Demetri from proceeding. That only made me laugh harder. I fumbled through the laughter as I attempted to dress, simply to please Edward. Which is ass backwards if you ask me, but whatever.

He stepped towards Demetri and held out his hand, "Demetri, it's been too long." Demetri just rolled his eyes and took his hand as he spoke, "Yea, because six days made me miss you sitting by your window all fucking day sobbing like a little girl. Let me tell you." Edward quickly caught on to the fact that Demetri's been around the whole time and grinned sheepishly. I wonder how many times people are going to forget that fact. Hmm….

"Ugh. First of all Demetri, you know that he already _deflowered _me," I rolled my eyes at his choice of word, "Second, what are you doing here?"

"I know. I came to hear you moan." Edward growled at that while Demetri just laughed, "Calm down, tiger. This was my suggestion, just wanted to see how it played out." That certainly didn't help with Edward's anger but I erupted into a fit of giggles. Edward turned to look at me with concerned expression. "You don't care that he's degrading you like that?" Dear god, I couldn't quit laughing.

"What? No way. If that's the worst we get - we're getting off easy. Demetri is the devil himself reincarnated as a red light district prostitute. You have no idea the things I've said to him over the years."

Edward seemed to wait on Demetri's response but, of course, he just stood there grinning like I'd given him the world's biggest compliment.

Yea, we're totally pitifull and we know it.

"Edward, if you think this is bad wait until Nico's around." I said. He was starting to look a little scared.

"Since all my nicknames for you are all ruined, Princess, lets get you back to the house and find you a pretty little sundress so you can match all the other trophy wives." Demetri's words did nothing to discourage the growl once again forming on Edward's face.

"Ugh. Hold on, Demetri," I looked at Edward, "Look. Demetri is my brother. And he has been for so long - you are going to have to understand that this is how we are. Drop the protectiveness. Seriously. Look at where that got you last time. His remarks are only going to get worse. Trust me when I say, I probably deserve it. Likewise, he will get what he deserves. Understood?" He nodded reluctantly.

"Awe, sis, you do love me!"

"Shut up you smart ass sex driven idiot vampire. You don't even have testosterone and it rules your tiny deluded mind! "

We walked back towards the house throwing ridiculous comments and flinging insults like mashed potatoes in a food fight. Ah, it was so good to have him back.

When we walked back in the door we found five vampires and a werewolf in front of the television watching - heaven help us - Titanic. It wasn't a second after we walked in that Heidi turned to Demetri with a devious spark in her eyes. I seriously don't know how you can go from sinking ship to raging hormones in the blink of an eye, but these two do it.

"Geez, woman, calm down." It should have sounded insulting but instead came out almost reverent.

She pouted.

"Ugh, fine. Jane you coming?" He called over his shoulder.

"No thanks. I've had my share of getting absolutely no satisfaction today." She remarked.

"Don't know what you're missing." Heidi called out. Seriously, I'll never understand these two. With the words they use, you would think they hated each other. But they are fiercely protective of one another and are almost completely devoted. Almost. It is truly a sickening love they share.

I'll never even pretend to understand.

We spent the rest of the evening lost in our own little worlds. We discussed school for a little while until it became irritating to talk about. Caius called and yelled at Nico for at least two hours while Edward and I restrained Jacob. Eventually, he got over himself but he was less than thrilled at the prospect of meeting 'the irritating dog boy' in a few weeks.

We managed to not only attend every class the next day, but to continue to do so for the next few weeks. I would love to say that the weeks flew by, but since Carlisle disrupted our games, they definitely did not. I would also love to say that Edward got over himself and handled Demetri well enough. At least that one was closer to the truth. He seemed to quit growling as much and apparently whatever Demetri's thoughts were saying about me made the comments easier to deal with. I think Dem was really starting to grow on him but I wouldn't say that they were exactly friends.

We intelligently dubbed Demetri and Emmett 'Dem and Emm' - and they were truly a force to be reckoned with. When Emmett was around Edward didn't even have time to get angry with Demetri's comments before he was getting cracked on himself. It was beautiful and painful.

Eventually, we made our way towards Volterra. It had been probably the longest three weeks of my life. Now, excitement was flowing everywhere. I think Jazz was picking it up and multiplying. Maybe if we moved him away from Alice….

One look around the flying machine told me that idea would never work. Everyone was exactly as bouncy as her for once. Dem and Emm looked devious sitting together. I didn't doubt they were planning something - bad. Rose and my girls were giggling about something inconsequential. Carlisle and Esme just had those big idiotic proud faces on that screamed excitement. Edward looked completely delicious and some tasty ideas began to pop into my head.

"Not a good idea, Bella. I wouldn't trust those two as far as I could throw them." Alice sang out while pointing to the devil's duo. Damn… Maybe there will be time before the party. Doubtful with my overly obsessive abundance of sisters. Irritating siblings. One way to find out…

"Not a chance. If you can't wait until the wedding you can at least wait until after you announce it." Grrr…. Stupid bouncy barbie dressing energetic bunny of a sister.

Well, I could still come up with quite a few ideas for after the party. I sat there and enjoyed torturing Alice with my twisted ideas for the rest of the ride. Edward's face was priceless when he asked me, "Really?" a few times. Even more enjoyable when I gave him, "Not a chance," back.

Eventually I started planning ways to get Jasper naked. Why? To torture the both of them. It was awesome. Edward let go of it a lot quicker than Alice did, though.

Emmett luckily remembered why he shouldn't cause any turbulance this time around. Dem and Heidi definitely didn't. Not that they cared. We'd been doing it to them for decades.

Finally, and I mean finally, we began to descend towards Volterra.

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**I had to skip a few weeks. As much as I would love to describe every single day until the wedding and beyond - I would likely be considered clinically addicted before that point in the story. Sorry. **

**Reviewsies, pretty, pretty, pretty please. **


	31. Welcome to the Family

It was only due to the presence of Jake this weekend that Nico and I decided to stick to formalities. We were both going crazy already. Being confined to one room when you live here is very irritating.

"Please hurry up, Alice, I really want to get out of this room." I whined. Alice was torturing Rosalie and Esme today. The rest of our appearances were pretty much non-negotiable. That made the situation a little better - I don't want to know how long it would've taken if she got to play dress up on all of us.

"I am. It's only been fifteen minutes!"

"Still… hurry."

"So, Twin. I haven't hardly had a chance to speak to Dem lately. You and Heidi have been hogging him - what's up with that?"

"Nothing really - I just missed him. I haven't got to spend this much time with him in a while."

"Me either"

"Yes, but he likes me more." I said as I stuck out my tongue at her. I saw Heidi fight off a giggle in the corner of my eye. Why? Because it's so true.

"Just think, little sister, if you would have taken his advice before - this could've happened years ago. Decades, maybe." Heidi spoke up when the giggle finally broke through.

"What do you mean?" I was confused. The most Dem had ever said to me about the situation is that I should go get revenge. I believe he said it as, "He'd never recognize you now. Torture him like he tortured you. Get your revenge- in his pants. Then walk away." I had argued with him (several times) that it would never work. I usually got an eye roll and some nickname that referred to my inability to use my brain.

"It just seems like everything he said over the past few decades makes sense now, that's all." She giggled.

She was right. For the past few decades Demetri had been persistent about me going down there. He was always the one I could talk to when everything started to get to me. Nico is great, and we always talked, but it was different having a brother to talk to. He would answer every time I called and let me scream useless nonsense into the line for hours. He started joking around about his 'torture plan' a long time ago -as a way to make me laugh, he said - but over the past few decades he's gotten almost relentless with it. It's almost like he knew…

"Heidi, did Demetri know? Did you know? That he still felt like that?"

"Um… Well, I didn't. I'm not sure about Demetri. When you look at it - it seems like he might have."

"That little shit," I mumbled as I stormed out of Jane's room towards Demetri's. I ran into Renata on my way there.

"Isabella, where are you going?" She looked pretty concerned. With the expression that was on my face, I would be too.

"To find my irritating, bastard of a brother. Let me through," I said almost calmly. I was almost there and the guard members knew better than to stop me when I was like this.

"Oh, shit. Hide me." I heard him whisper from the room.

"YOU WILL NOT HIDE HIM! If you do I will blow up your car, television, video games, or library - whichever applies. I AM NOT in the mood to deal with this right now."

"Can she do that from Italy?" I heard Jasper ask in a very, very worried tone.

Demetri sighed. "Yes. Damnit, let me go talk to her. Um.. Carlisle, Jazz, Emm, can you do me a favor if necessary?" He asked.

"What?"

"Um.. Hold Edward back." He said before making a quick escape from the room and coming towards me. "Hi, Bella-ella! What's going on?"

"There seem to be some things you never thought to tell me about, brother."

"What do you mean?" He was trying to play innocent.

"How long?" I demanded.

"What? How long what?"

"Do you honestly want me to spell it out right here?" I asked looking towards the door.

He followed my gaze and quickly replied, "About thirty years."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"If had - would you have listened, or would you have ran?"

Ran. "Listened."

"Don't lie to me, bitch." He said slightly exasperated. I heard Edward begin growling.

"I'm not." I said stubbornly.

"Yes, you are. You wouldn't have believed a word that came out of my damn mouth. I tried to get you to go. You weren't ready. Hearing it from me wouldn't have helped."

"Ugh. Seriously though? Payback in his pants was the best thing you could think of? You are such an idiot!"

"Look who it's coming from," He smirked. What an irritating bastard! I'm going to pummel his freaking face in! I was trying to think of what I could possibly destroy that would hurt him most when I heard a reprimanding voice approaching from behind.

"DEMETRI! Quit trying to provoke your sister. She has a ball to host in a matter of hours and it would be beneficial if the ballroom was still standing."

"Yes, Marcus." H e said as he hung his head in shame. I smirked internally and then turned around to face Marcus.

"Daddy! It's good to see you, I've missed you."

"I've missed you as well, Isabella. What are you torturing poor Demetri for?"

"Poor Demetri?" I snorted, "Nothing really. Just being as overprotective as Edward and it's frustrating. You know how I love people thinking they know what's best for me."

"I know, child. For now though maybe you should return to your room? I'll see you formally in a few minutes. It's best not to irritate Caius this weekend."

I nodded and took off towards the rest of the girls so we could finish getting dressed.

The meeting was a complete bore. They are usually, though, so it didn't surprise me. Everyone offered their congratulations - except Caius who still couldn't get over the fact that one of my best friends was a werewolf. The looks I got were nothing compared to what Nico and Jacob got though.

Alice bounded off dragging almost everyone else along to prepare the room. Carlisle, Esme, Marcus, Aro, Edward, and I had a more informal meeting. We sent Caius away because he's just a strain on the whole loving family vibe. Edward's dad and mom, and my dad and… Aro. I should call Aro mommy. I wonder how he'd take it?

Not well apparently.

Oh, well. We'll just call him Aro then. Whatever, doesn't make much of a difference to me.

The surprise was when Dem walked in with two small packages. I recognized the shiny black box immediately for what it was. Only one thing comes in that box and I looked at Aro in disbelief. Not even the all of the guard wear those. He smiled at me and then turned towards Edward.

"Edward, I would like to take this chance to sincerely welcome you to the family. I have a long standing friendship with your father and am absolutely delighted with my daughter's choice. Marcus and I consider you a son already, as I hope you know, and we have prepared an engagement gift for you."

"Thank you, sir" Edward said as Demetri handed him the box. When he opened it I couldn't believe my eyes. Generally, the higher ranking guard wore a coat of arms tying them to the Volturi. They wore it on a chain, a necklace of sorts. Aro and Marcus had just given him a seal ring. Not only that, but his was a direct duplicate of theirs. He probably doesn't even know how significant this is…

_Edward, you need to recognize the importance of this. No one - not the guard, not Nico, not me, not Sulpicia, not Athendora- has that ring. Look at Marcus' right hand. Now Aro's. Caius has the same._

His eyes went wide.

Aro chuckled, "Isabella, you could always explain later." I just looked at him with a big, stupid, guilty grin. "Edward, this does not mean that we expect anything from you other than to take care of my niece. You are a member of this family now, not in the sense of the guard, but a part of this family. We have one more thing for you."

I looked at the box and then narrowed my eyes. I turned to give Aro the gangster death glare but he was just smiling.

"Isabella, I just told him that we did not expect him to work for us."

"But…"

"Just listen, Isabella," He turned towards Edward, "Sometimes - very rarely - a situation arises in which we need Nico and Isabella to take care of. They are by far the strongest we know. I have heard of your… protective nature towards Isabella. This is strictly for that purpose. If another situation requires their performance, I assume you would want to go as well."

Of course, there was a big stupid cloak in the box. What surprised me was that it was as dark as my father's. Then again, I don't know why anything surprises me anymore.

"Also, Edward, there are times when it is appropriate to wear it while inside the castle. You are no longer considered a guest here, but someone who belongs here. Have my niece explain to you when those times are."

We quickly said our goodbyes and left Carlisle to talk to Marcus and Aro. I think Edward was still in shock over the days events. So I decided to take the initiative to explain things to him.

"Are you ready to hear the detailed version?" he nodded, "Okay. First, wear the ring at all times. That is a privilege to have and even I am shocked about it. Right hand, ring finger. The appropriate time to wear the cloak is pretty much all the time. Anytime we have guests, anytime you meet formally with anyone, and anytime during our stay that we go into the city when it's sunny. Tonight you will need to wear it for our entrance and a round of greetings afterwards."

"So what does all this mean Bella? I'm still fairly confused about everything…"

"It means, like I've told you before, that they are my family. Just as I consider your family to be mine, I consider mine to be yours. And so do they. I am not part of the guard but I help when I am needed. Just like my father and uncles do. It seems to me that they are making it clear to everyone that you are to be held in the same respect as they are. As I am."


	32. Caius is Happy?

We walked back towards Nico's room where everybody had congregated. I had convinced Edward to go back to his room and put on his new gifts. Our guests would be arriving over the next few hours and well, I wanted to freak out his -our - family some more. We got pretty much different variations of the same reaction from everyone. Except Alice. She thought he looked cute.

"What the hell?" - Rose, Jasper, Jacob.

"Um - creepy, Edward." - Emmett.

You would think they planned it the way they all spoke in unison.

Jane, Heidi, Bridgett, and Kendall just looked at him with open mouths - noticing not only the cloak, but the color. Nico, of course, went straight for the punch line. She immediately noticed the ring on his finger and managed to mumble out, "Holy shit." The rest followed her gaze. My girls and Jazz all gasped when they saw what she was looking at. The rest simply glanced at it and returned their eyes to the cloak. Or the oh-so-sexy-man in the cloak. It better have been the first option. Jane was the first one to snap out of it.

"Why, hello master." She smiled. Edward rolled his eyes but I'm pretty sure he would've blushed if possible.

"Shut up, Jane," I said before turning to Edward, "Not so funny now is it?" I giggled.

"Edward, that… is … why… are… you… going… Damnit.." Jasper said. When did he start this incoherency thing?

"Yes, Jazz I know what it is. Because they gave it to me. No I'm not." He said, answering Jasper's thoughts. Nico looked straight at me.

"So, they really gave him that ring?"

"No, Twin, I made it myself." Which I could, except no one, besides Aro, is allowed to designate any of the arms.

"Shut up. I mean it though, they gave him a RING?"

"An exact duplicate of the originals." Her eyes were about to pop out of her head. Well, hers and the guard's. We were slightly talking in code - except the Cullen's were the only ones who wouldn't understand it.

"So, does that mean that -"

"I don't know. I need to ask still. Regardless, it is nothing to discuss here. Especially when I haven't discussed it with him."

"Right - sorry, Twin."

Edward looked confused so I mouthed to him I'd explain later. No need to bring this up to the family. Yet. We were already finished getting prepared for the party and everyone else took off to attend. Edward and I were going to make our appearance after all of our guests were there. Oh, what to do, what to do…

"So, Master, what are we going to do with our time." I smirked at him.

"I have no idea, Princess. I'm sure we can come up with something." Good, so we're on the same page. Which is perfect because he looked so absolutely irresistible in that cloak. Well, it was perfect, until Renata knocked on the door saying that she was supposed to be guarding us - ie: making sure we don't mess up my hair. Stupid Heidi/Jane/Alice. Whichever one did it. Probably Alice.

So we waited. Finally, it was time. Renata escorted us towards the ballroom. She called Aro on our way down and we stopped outside the door and waited on our cue. I could hear my uncle's voice from inside the room.

"Welcome, everyone! We are so happy that you all are celebrating with us tonight. I know several of you have not had the opportunity to meet with my niece and her fiancé, so I would like to take this opportunity to introduce you. Please welcome Isabella Volturi and Edward Cullen." We walked through the doors with my arm linked in his. The turnout was exceptionally large. It was almost unbelievable. Then again, when you get an invite from the Volturi - you don't turn it down. Most of our guests wouldn't turn down an invitation from Carlisle either. He was actually very favored throughout most of our kind. We began to make our rounds, first speaking with our families, and then the guests. We spoke with several different covens, most of which I knew, and a few I didn't. Edward knew quite a few himself. It is still shocking that Edward knew less than me. I knew almost everyone… covens and nomads alike.

We had finally made our way around and went to settle with our families. Carlisle, Esme, Marcus, Aro, and Caius all sat together. Edward and I were almost there when I felt an uncomfortable twinge in my side. Weird. Then it happened again. I heard Nico mumble out. "Ow," from across the room about the same time I did. Oh, shit.

"Edward," I spoke very quietly, "You need to get Marcus, Aro, and Carlisle to meet us down the hall in the library. I'm going to get Nico - I'll explain when we get there."

He nodded as I started towards the library.

Nico, go to the library. Bring Jacob.

I saw her take Jacob's hand and begin out the opposite set of doors. Lovely, just lovely. Tonight of all times is going to be when this comes up? I doubt we're even going to be able to go back to Forks. Ridiculous. But exciting. And a little scary. When we all met inside the library Nico looked just as worried as I. The guys had concern written all over their faces.

"Isabella, what calls us away from your ball?" Aro asked.

"When we had just finished our introductions, and we were coming to sit with you I felt… uncomfortable. I felt like a twinge, or a twitch. I didn't think much of it until I felt the second one. I heard Nico complaining of something from across the room at the same time I did. Twin, what did you feel."

"Exactly what you just said."

"That's what I figured. It worried me a little, given our - different - circumstances and I was hoping Carlisle could take a look. I figured you two would want to be here when he did."

"Well, you were right, but I think your Uncle Caius should be too, if this goes in the direction you're thinking it could." Ugh.

"Okay. Edward, Jacob, could you please go get Caius? I know it seems a little weird but the four of us need to stay in here." They mumbled yes and Edward led a very afraid Jake back to the ballroom. That's when I heard something new.

"Nico -"

"I know, I hear it too."

"What?" Marcus asked.

"Shh… Just listen." And they did. One by one their eyes went wide with a range of emotions. Joy, fear, concern. It was the most beautiful sound.

"A heartbeat" Carlisle whispered as he looked at Nico. He walked up and placed his hand on her stomach. "I feel movement. That's impossible. It's been, at the most, how long Nicolette?"

"Three and a half weeks…"

"This is very advanced," He turned to me, "Bella?"

I shook my head. "I felt the twinge or twitch, but there's obviously no heartbeat." He continued to walk up to me - ignoring my comment. He placed his hand on my stomach and looked at me with wonder in his eyes.

"Bella, we never expected a heartbeat. There is movement." WHAT? I placed my hand on my stomach and it almost felt as if it were being caressed.

Caius, Edward, and Jake walked in to see us with the stupidest of looks on our faces. Edward's eyes immediately found mine. I nodded and his face lit up with his best smile yet.

"Well congratulations, daughters! This is such good news. We can make the announcement tonight, if you two are comfortable with that?" We both told him that was fine, but we needed to speak to the rest of the Cullen's first. Caius left to go get them and nodded to us on the way out. Even Jake.

We waited in silence as we all fell into our own thoughts. Out of no where, Edward chuckled. I looked at him quizzically and he told me, "Emmett is wondering if Jake's been murdered. Caius looks to happy." He laughed, but I just stood there. Caius is happy?

They all came into the room with confused looks on their faces. Esme spoke first, "What is going on Bella?" One by one I instructed them to listen to Nico's stomach and feel mine. One by one my baby caressed their hands. One by one Nico's sang them a song with it's heartbeat. Everyone was speechless. Jasper spoke up and told them the legend he had heard. Each and every female - and Emmett - broke down into sobs.

Eventually, we all calmed down enough to make our way back to the ball. The crowd stopped all talking when they noticed my father, uncles, twin, fiancé, best friend, and myself enter again. This time Marcus spoke up.

"Ladies and Gentleman, it seems we have another announcement for the evening. I have great news for each one of you. First, I must start with a legend. It was told to a close friend of mine during the American war. The legend speaks of the children of Apollo. They were said to have been kept in secret, raised by his sister, and their mother. The family had a cursed placed upon them that each generation would bring a new set of twins. All children, with the exception of one of the twins, would be taken from them before they could continue the bloodline. It was also said, that centuries later there would be a set of twins, born years apart, that would both be lost before they could continue the bloodline. However, it also states that these twins would then break both the curse of their family and the curse of their race. This was mentioned to me only a few short weeks ago, under the assumption that my daughters may be those twins. It was a considerable possibility but we didn't think too much of it. Until tonight. It came to our attention tonight that not just one, but both of my daughters are with child. This in itself is most exciting news! There is much more to tell, though. We are under the belief that the curse of the race the legend speaks of is our inability to reproduce. It was said that when another of their kind found their true soul mate - they too could reproduce. We aren't sure about much more than that. If any of you ladies are to find that you, too, are carrying a child we insist it be brought to our attention immediately. We are all very excited at the possibility but we must remember complications of the past. I'm afraid we cannot answer any questions, as we do not have the answer. Thank you for your time, and I hope that this news is as good to you as it is to us."

The crowd went into a frenzy.

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**Hope you like. Probably won't put anymore out today. **

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	33. Baby Names

We were all confused. We knew that we probably couldn't go back to Forks in this condition. We definitely couldn't go back to school. So we were having the conversation on what we were going to do. It's pretty much a given that we needed to stay in the castle. Carlisle, Esme, Edward, and Jake were going to stay with us. The rest were going to return to school for a little while before coming to join us. Everyone was excited but Nico and I were terrified. We don't have the normal 'supplies' needed for pregnancy. Nico especially - what if the fetus needed food? Not our kind - but Jakes? No equipment would work on us. A heart monitor would work on Nico's baby but it was unnecessary since we could hear it clear as day. We were much farther along than any human would be and we seemed to be running in sync. Which made it likely that we would deliver at the same time. There aren't many vampire doctors. There's one. Luckily, there would be people to help. Most of Carlisle's children have attended some portion of medical school. Demetri was spending all of his time in the library trying to learn whatever he could to help. He wasn't even entertaining Heidi right now. She probably didn't mind much as she was spending all of her time trying to prepare a medical area in the castle. Jane and Bridgett went back to Forks. Kendall was going to stay to help. She would be focused on helping with Nico. She had spent a lot of time around the hospital since she usually ended up with 'Carlisle duty' and she could handle the blood that was expected from Nico's delivery. Blood. Another thing that worried me. Nico and I really were exactly alike and I was concerned about the scent of the baby's blood. I hoped it didn't smell anything like I did when I was human. That would torture Edward and I was worried - since he hadn't dealt with that resistance in over a century.

We were poked and prodded every day. As it turns out - we do have a few select necessary organs. We didn't but Carlisle thinks they formed when the fetus began too. Hopefully, that meant a natural delivery. The only other option was to tear it out.

Ugh.

So we spent our days researching, planning, decorating, etc. Nico and I mostly laid in our rooms all day. Within weeks we couldn't even hunt anymore.

"What if the baby smells like I did?" I asked Edward one evening. I knew he had thought about it too, almost as much as I had.

"I've been talking to Carlisle about that. It's a strong possibility, he thinks. We have a reserve here for you two. When the time comes I'm going to make sure my thirst is under control. That's the best we can do. Carlisle is going to need as much help as he can get. I mean, unless you want Emmett or Jane to deliver our baby?"

"Um, I'll pass," I laughed. That would be the worst idea ever. "Where is everyone?"

"Well, Jake is freaking out -thinking that the baby isn't getting any nourishment - and Nico's trying to calm him down, the baby's heartbeat is as strong as ever. Up until he started having a panic attack they were talking about names. Carlisle's in the library with Demetri and Kendall, Esme and Heidi are off making magic happen somewhere, trying to prepare. The rest are in Forks, and last I heard Alice has been shopping every single day for baby things and shopping for a new house for us all, Jasper's been following - earning his title as the shopping cart - and Rose hasn't allowed Emmett to leave the house for any reason other than school or hunting - but you probably already knew that part."

I giggled, "Well I assumed about Rose and Emmett, but I'm not sure we're going to be able to leave here anytime soon."

"I've talked to Marcus and Aro, they said as long as the baby is growing fine there shouldn't be a problem. They want the babies to either be kept here for observation or with Carlisle… once more facts come out they'll loosen up."

"Any word of anyone else?"

"Not yet."

"Maybe it's after the delivery? What if we were wrong? What if it doesn't stop with us? Like, how many kids are we going to end up having?" I really couldn't keep myself off Edward for too long… and natural planning obviously wouldn't work for us.

"Demetri's been trying to figure that out."

"Demetri?" He's not exactly the studious type - I knew he was trying to learn so he could help but I didn't think he'd be researching.

"Yes. He thinks he has a small lead but he needs to talk to Carlisle about it first."

"And when is everyone else coming back? I'm the size of a watermelon already!"

"Soon, as far as everyone is aware your father is very ill here in Italy. Since he's an old friend of Carlisle's we are here to help you and Nico through it. In a few days Carlisle will call the school and the hospital and tell them the bad news. Then the rest will head up this way, 'to attend services' and we will move shortly after that. As far as anyone is concerned you and Nico will just want to come home, to Italy, for a while."

"You guys are good."

"We know," He smirked, "and the pack is coming too. Aro set up a small house in town for them."

"Really? Wait - my small or your small?" He laughed.

"Aro's small"

"Oh, shit. Those guys aren't going to know what to do with themselves with all that room."

"I know," He laughed, "I wish you could sleep - you look so tired"

"gee, thanks. I feel fine. Not exactly fine but as good as to be expected. I am getting a little thirsty though could you get me a glass?"

He left right as Jake carried Nico in to drop her off, apparently he was being sent on the same mission. Not that it surprised me - not anymore. We were way to in sync. Thirsty at the same time, worried at the same time, happy at the same time. It was great to have someone actually go through it with me. I mean, I'm sure Jasper would have done it - unwillingly - if he were here. Going through this with Nico right beside me was a blessing.

"Hey, Twin," She mumbled out. She sounded extremely weak. I'm sure I did too.

"Hey, watermelon two, how are things?"

"Eh. Jake's worried about everything. I'm telling him I'm fine but he keeps trying to blend human food in my glasses. Thank God Edward is paying attention. He swaps them out every time they go down." I giggled when she said that.

'That's okay. Edward keeps trying to convince me to try to sleep."

"Jake does that too."

"I think they worry more than us." We both started laughing - because it is so true.

We talked about baby names until the boys got back upstairs. We both wanted to include namesakes but the problem was if we both had boys or both had girls then the plan went out the window. So we had to have back ups. I wanted a girl - Nico wanted a boy. We both thought we were on the right track but there wasn't hardly a way to know. Edward was constantly listening -trying to figure it out but he was only getting a scrambled mess. We tried to get Alice to look ahead but she was having difficulties. Maybe it'll be easier once she gets here.

Regardless, these kids were going to have long names. We wouldn't give up the Volturi name.

It wasn't long before Edward and Jacob entered the room and the discussion.

"So, if we do have a boy, what are you thinking of, honey?" Jacob asked Nico.

"Well, I'm thinking of William Philip Volturi Black" Wow. She went straight for the namesakes - I have to give her credit. Not that mine was any better. Edward was looking expectantly at me.

"If it's a boy, I have no idea - I'm still hoping for a girl."

"And if it's a girl?"

"I'm thinking Elizabeth Esmee, if you like that?" It was more a question than a statement but judging from the look on his face - he did.

"Really? I love that," he seemed excited at first but then a little sad, "She would too, you know. She would love you." He said as he gently placed his hand against my cheek. Jake looked confused, so did Nico. He turned to them, "Elizabeth was my mother's name."

They both nodded in understanding and then returned to their own conversation.

"What if it's a girl," Jake asked.

"It won't be." She stated confidently, though we both knew it was an option.

"Well, okay then." He knew better than to say what I was thinking.

Edward was bottled up with questions by the time Jake and Nico returned to their room for the evening.

"Elizabeth? Really? And Esme?" He asked.

"Well, I have memories, strong memories, of Renee. You don't have that. I have pictures - you don't. It seems right, you know? And Esmee is actually spelt with two e's at the end - It's like a combination of names."

"You are too perfect," He smiled.

"I know."

He rolled his eyes. "You know, from what I've heard, it's always better to use longer names when they're in trouble."

"Oh, yea?" I giggled. "So four isn't long enough for you?"

"No."

"How do you suggest we fix that?"

"Simple, we add a fifth name."

"That's not too long? It's really abnormal to have so many names you know… She'd probably get picked on by all the other little vampire children."

"Oh, yes, those menacing little vampire children running around everywhere," He chuckled.

"So, please tell me, what is the fifth name we are going to bless our child to endless teasing with?"

"Well, I was thinking. Elizabeth Esmee Volturi Cullen sounds wonderful, but wouldn't Elizabeth Esmee Didyme Volturi Cullen sound better?"

I hadn't even thought of that! Daddy would be so happy… I gave him the biggest hug I could accomplish, which wasn't much, and told him that sounded perfect. Granted, there wouldn't be room for a fifth name on any paperwork - we were already going to have to hyphenate Volturi-Cullen - but it's the thought right?

We just laid there until sunrise thinking as Edward hummed my lullaby. It was beautiful, as always. We heard footsteps by the door but they quickly disappeared before Edward started grinning at me.

"Our siblings will be here tonight, and the pack will come in tomorrow. Two of the pack, anyways, they're going to be rotating out - so they don't leave the reservation unprotected."

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**Story and twilam are getting love-sick. Somebody save me? I cannot take much more of the cuddling. Or the puppy dog glares. Oh, the horror.**

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	34. The Kidnapping

**I have to mention - I love, love, love, love = twilam, Bonham carter, sweetevie14, and earth-fairy2006**

**Why? Because they're awesome.**

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THIS IS UNBELIEVABLY FRUSTRATING! Everyone is going to be here so soon. I miss Alice like crazy! I've been cooped up in a room with Edward, and the occasional Nico, and the even rarer Jake since this whole mess started. Daily visits from Carlisle, Marcus, and Aro to check my progress. Caius stopped by twice - I'm appreciative, I guess. Esme and Heidi had moved on to set up two temporary nurseries. Like the babies would ever be put down before we left. They came by occasionally. Demetri and Kendall were taking 'lessons' daily with Carlisle. The thought of Demetri helping to deliver my baby was still a little unsettling. Alice will likely stick around to the point of annoyance. Which is why I need her to GET HERE! I am bored out of my mind and if Alice and Emmett can't fix that I don't know what will. Scratch that- I'm still shocked Rose got off Emm long enough to fly here. Well, Alice and Jasper. I haven't really had much time to hang out with Jasper. Maybe he could tell me about the Civil War or something. From a lived-it point of view. Edward was driving me crazy with worry and I swear to Zeus I'm going to beat him if he tells me to try to sleep again. It hasn't worked yet.

"That's what you get for being a tramp, sis" Oh, thank God.

"I learned from the best," I smirked at him.

"You're too kind to me. How are you holding up?" Demetri asked.

"I'm not. And when did you become a mind reader?"

"Oh, a little habit I picked up in the strip club."

"Uh-huh"

"I heard you mumbling down the hall. Sorry if we're driving you crazy"

"That's just it! You're not! Edward is - definitely. The rest of you guys are avoiding me like the plague."

"I mean, technically sis, you kind of are," He chuckled, "Come in here screwing up everyone's destiny and all. Where is lover-boy, anyways?"

"On an errand - I was getting thirsty. So, what did I do to deserve your presence, oh-wise-one?"

"I missed you, tot"

"I'm sure. Now you're all busy being un-Demetri like. What's with all this learning anyways?"

"I'm worried about you, I want to make sure you okay."

"I'm fine. I'm just fucking thirsty and Edward needs to get back here."

"I'm sure he's on his way. You know, I here swimming is good for the pregnant ladies."

"Um, Dem, I have no bathing suit right now. Not one I'm going to wear with the watermelon situation."

"Just plan on swimming in some ratty old shorts and one of Edward's - or maybe Emmett's - shirts, I'm sure Alice will grab you and Nico suits on the way and we'll all go swimming tonight."

"Thank You! Seriously, I've been looking for an excuse to get out of this room."

"It's what I do best. You know, kidnap you. If you ever really want to freak Edward out - we could always arrange that."

"You are amazing, Demetri! Oh -please. Do you think we have time now?"

"If I can fit you through that window."

"Shut up and pick me up, brother."

So Dem picked me up and we escaped through the window. We had done this several times before, just not to Edward. Usually it was when I needed to get away from someone around here. It generally led to a giant freak-out with everyone wondering where I was and why my window was broken. I never just took off without letting someone know. Usually they wouldn't even notice Demetri was gone too - since he's not around here much anyways. When they did, however, they would know where to find me.

It always ended with me laying on the roof and laughing like an idiot until they found me. Then I would have several very, very angry vampires glaring at me. Giving me lectures about scaring them and what-not. This time would definitely be no exception to that rule. But it was so worth it.

Demetri could always be counted on to save me from my own insanity. Even if it led to other people achieving their own.

"Thanks, homes, you are my savior." I said in my best gangster voice.

"No problem, twirp. What's our topic of discussion today?"

"World War 2"

"Seriously?"

"Um, no. How about how you went and turned into studious Dem on me and are just now showing up to save me."

"Trying to prepare, lazy Bella-ella, I'm not going to lose you."

"Psh, what do you have to worry about."

"Marcus, and Edward, if I do something wrong."

I giggled, "And Esme, and Rose, and especially Alice and Nico, and Emmett, and Jazz, and oh-dear-God- Jane too, and Heidi probably wouldn't give you any for a decade. Not that it would matter because Aro would probably have you in the dungeons for longer than that."

He chuckled, "What about Carlisle?"

"He's Carlisle. He'd give you a hug and tell you it wasn't your fault - even if you were the one to put me in the fire."

"And Jacob?"

"He's cocky, but not that cocky. All alone in a castle full of vampires? No. The second you were out of Volterra? You'd be joining me."

"Always counting on me to save the day, sis. That's why I love you."

"Really? I thought it was my astounding beauty and mesmerizing personality."

"That too, I guess. Really, I just get a kick out of watching you blow shit up."

"Do you now?" I asked with a wicked smile plastered on my face.

"NOT MY SHIT!"

"I know, just kidding." I chuckled. We sat there in silence admiring our glittery gloriousness for a little while before he spoke up. In a much more serious tone than I'd ever heard him use.

"I'm sorry, Bella-ella. I should've told you."

I sighed, "No. You're probably right - I probably would've ran."

"I know you would've."

"I still don't get why you didn't tell me. You should've wanted me to run. You're not the type to share." I joked.

"I was… concerned." That's Demetri code for scared.

"About?"

"That you would run. You deserve to be happy. You wouldn't have believed a damn word that came out of my mouth and I know that. I was half scared you'd run away from all of us. Then I'd have to bear the wrath that is Marcus and Nico."

"First of all, I would never run away from Marcus or Nico. You - maybe. Edward - I'm pretty sure I would have."

"I was scared about you running away from me and the girls."

"Shouldn't be, I said you - I never said the girls." I smirked.

"And I was worried for Edward. You two deserve each other, truly."

"Is that so?"

"Well - If you'd ran away I would've had to watch Edward sulk for an eternity. So, yeah."

"True." I giggled. "You're already going to have quite the enemy on your hands when he finds out you kidnapped me."

"Damn. I'll have to tell him you tricked me."

"Uh-huh. Then Marcus will tell everyone just how many times you have kidnapped me before. I'll play innocent as usual. And I will win. And you will lose." I stuck out my tongue out at him.

"Oh, no he won't, silly Bella, not this time!" The aggravating elf was here!

"Alice! I would run to you, but I'm the size of a freight train and I'm pretty sure my clumsiness has returned by now. So run to me, I need your hug!"

She ran up to me and gave me the biggest hug she would've given me if I were still human. I almost argued that I wasn't breakable anymore - but that probably wasn't true.

"Why aren't they going to believe me? Did you say something? You're supposed to be on my side!"

"Ha!" Demetri exclaimed.

"I wouldn't ha anything just yet, you are still in a whole heap of trouble." She gave him the 'Esme' tone and then turned to me, "As for you, of course I'm on your side! Aro is the one that pointed out no matter how weak you are, Dem still couldn't MAKE you do anything." She chuckled.

"Damn," Dem and I mumbled at the same time.

"If it helps you and Nico have the best maternity bathing suits available! I mean, if you'll still fit in it by this evening."

"Alice!" I whined.

"Shh… Edward will be here in about forty five seconds - and you might want to run, Demetri."

He looked at me and I nodded. I've never seen him run so fast. I have, however, seen the look on Edward's face before. And it wasn't good. It was scary. Like first day in Biology scary.

"ISABELLA MARIE SWAN VOLTURI - DON'T YOU EVER SCARE ME LIKE THAT AGAIN!' He looked around, "WHERE IS HE?"

"Who?" I said as innocently as possible while Marcus and Nico chuckled in the background.

"YOUR… BROTHER." Furious, much? How do you calm this down?

"Edward. Calm down, please. I just needed out for a bit - It was so frustrating in there. Think before you act - yes, I'm actually encouraging that - and take me back to my room. If you're going to be mad for me having a little fun, then fine. But do not drag Demetri into this. Nobody else is mad, I was perfectly safe. Besides, you're about the only one who didn't know where I was."

"What?"

"Everyone here knows where I'm at if Demetri's gone too and my window's broken. It's common knowledge." Then I gave him my best you-are-so-lucky-don't-you-dare-make-me-mad-pout.

He snorted, "Isabella, please, do not scare me like that again. I am begging you." Ha! It worked.

"I won't. For now, we need to go back to my room and get dressed."

"Dressed?"

"Yes, we're going swimming tonight." He got that pleading look in his eyes, "Edward, it's a very healthy pregnancy activity.

"Fine. But no more kidnappings?"

"Promise."


	35. Well, Just the One

**Hey guys, sorry for the uberslow updates. Well, slow for me anyways. My fav niece is in town and it'll probably be like this for a few weeks. I only get to see her so much, you know? So updates might be slower, but they'll be there. **

**It's okay to yell at me, if it helps. **

* * *

What, oh what, did I do to deserve THIS?

Nothing.

I am well aware that I have, at times, been considered a handful. Hell, I think everyone is aware of that fact. I pull pranks. I am unbelievably sarcastic. In all honesty, I am a bitch. I torment others. Usually for my own fun. They deserve it though, don't they? I mean - I killed Victoria, but she deserved it. I have a wicked plan to destroy every bit of confidence Tanya possesses - but she deserves it. I do run around acting like a spoiled teenager, but I mean, I am one - technically. Especially compared to the ages around me. I don't give too much respect verbally. There are people I respect immensely - Marcus, Carlisle, Esme, etc.- I never say it. Should I have told them? Maybe… I will completely admit that I am not the nicest person. But this is just ridiculous. I have not committed any mass murders. Well, just the one. It was justified. I haven't hardly killed anyone. Who didn't deserve it. Little torments - such as Felix- always deserved it. Likewise for Caius.

Sex before marriage. I'll admit to that one. Hell, technically that IS what I did to deserve this. I didn't know the consequences at the time. It's not exactly a choice - it's a mating thing, anyways. It's completely animalistic.

It got me here. Screaming. Tormented. They said the change would be the greatest pain you ever felt.

Ha.

Not a chance. I'm assuming since I've never heard that opinion contradicted, that this was worse than a human pregnancy. Hell, this was worse than anything.

I'd rather be fed to flames toe by toe than experience this ever, ever, again.

Ridiculous.

Irritating.

Stupid, stupid.

Why me?

Why now?

I just wanted to fucking swim!

I heard a chuckled from beside me. Wait, did I say that out loud? WAIT! DID THAT BASTARD JUST LAUGH AT ME?

I'm going to kill him. Maybe not. I'm going to rip him apart and then let him reattach himself. That sounds good. Nice and painful. Maybe I'll do it twice.

He definitely deserves it.

I listened quietly.

Nope, no chuckling now.

Better not.

Ice is supposed to be relieving. Well, it's not. This 'ice' is excruciating. It's definitely not the kind you wrap up and put on your 'bo bo' or anything.

Though, it was definitely helping maintain the fire. Sort of. More like, they were battling, fire and ice. Not a pretty feeling - every time I felt it was almost done the torture began again. It would start with the ice, creeping from my torso and stretching out to every limb. Suddenly, as soon as the ice would reach my extremities, the fire would counteract. Likewise, as soon as the fire would reach my torso, the ice would battle it.

I was a fucking battlefield.

This is nothing like childbirth should be. No, I've read books. I know. I'm supposed to have some really bad cramps, and then push. It's supposed to hurt like hell. Not feel like I'm in hell. I have no idea if I'll even push. Seriously, not going by the books so far. I couldn't even tell you if Nico was in any better condition than me. I couldn't tell you what color her hair was. I'm lucky I remembered her name. I couldn't talk to anyone to find out what was going on. I couldn't listen to anyone. I couldn't feel or sense anything besides the battle raging within me.

It was annoying to say the least. I couldn't use this so called superior brain of mine. I should have use of one hundred percent of my brain and I'm lucky if I'm using one percent.

I remember water. Atrociously large whales in the water.

Wait.

That was Nico and I. We were in the water. I remember splashing and having fun playing around with my wonderfully large family. I remember silly girly giggles and Demetri trying to be all manly. I remember jokes and plans to shop. Wedding talk. Then ice.

Then Fire.

Then Ice.

Then Fire.

Then Ice.

Then Fire.

Then Ice.

Then Fire.

Then Ice.

Then Fire.

Then Ice.

Then Fire.

And on and on and on.

It's completely repetitive. I need to focus on something. Anything. Wedding plans? Screw wedding plans. I'm lucky to make it out of this alive. Edward's lucky to make it out of this alive. I'm sure most everyone in the room will be hearing impaired by the time I'm done screaming.

I don't think I'll ever be done screaming. It sure doesn't feel like it. I want to punch something. Anything. Everything. Nothing. I really don't care. WHY WONT IT STOP???!??

Help.

Please.

Kill me.

Gas mask?

Shit, that wouldn't work.

Think about the baby. No, the baby is causing this. No . . . Yes, the baby is definitely causing this. Edward better not be happy right now. He can be happy later, right now he better be in agony. Excruciating, painful, intolerable agony.

"I am, love."

Oh, hell, he can hear me? Am I talking? Good I hope he heard everything. Ass.

Stupid, arrogant, ridiculously beautiful ass.

He's going on my hit list.

OH!

A hit list. I can definitely concentrate on that right now.

* Tanya

* Felix

* Those Romanian idiots.

* Carissa

* Stephanie-Brittany

"Elizabeth" He whispered, almost reverently.

WHAT? Elizabeth, no. No, we're going to keep her! She's not going on the list. I mean, sure, she was involved in this, but no - definitely not on the list.

"No, love, Elizabeth is here."

WHAT? WHY CAN'T I OPEN MY EYES? WHY HASN'T THE FIRE STOPPED? OR THE ICE? WHEN IS IT OVER!?!

I heard one more sharp intake of breathe before he whispered a totally different phrase, "Hey little man."

What? No way is my Elizabeth going to be called 'little man'. Nor is my 'little man' going to be called Elizabeth. Somebody needs to decide if this baby is Elizabeth or 'little man.' Slowly, oh so slowly, the flames and freezing subsided and I began to regain all of my senses. When I did, I was nowhere near prepared for what I saw.


	36. They Actually Thought Ick

Okay, so I may have gone a little crazy for a while. And when I say a little, I mean a lot.

It was so worth it.

Every icy-hot minute of it.

Edward and I had been blessed with the most beautiful set of twins. Of course, I'm still weird even when I'm being weird and so we had a set of identical fraternal twins. Seriously. Exact duplicates of one another – except on was a boy and the other was a girl. So there were obvious differences, but other than that, you couldn't tell them apart. I spent a few minutes hoping Alice wouldn't find matching dresses for my son and daughter.

They had no heartbeat, they didn't want a thing to do with formula, and they definitely weren't human. Score one for vampirism – no diapers.

Score two? One hour later I was back to my general frozen state. No stretch marks, no excess skin (eww), and all pain resided.

The babies were already growing and it had only been an hour. That didn't really surprise me considering my two and half month pregnancy. Not in the least – but these two looked already a few weeks old. They were vampires, who grew, who changed. They were different in other ways, as well. For one, they had green eyes. That didn't change, even after they 'ate'. They also slept. They were sleeping right now. I was absolutely ecstatic about that. I wondered if they would always sleep. How often they would sleep. How long their always would end up being. I think too much.

We hadn't seen Nico yet; she was recovering and getting to know her own baby. I think. No one has told us anything about them – I'm running off the assumption that she delivered when I did. I could hear the pack pacing back and forth from my door to hers – waiting for one of us to talk to them. Esme, Jane, Heidi, Alice, and Jasper where there as well – waiting with the pack. Rose and Emmett had taken off as soon as Carlisle had told them all was well to, I assume, try out the 'maybe after we deliver' theory. Alice was knocking on the door occasionally screaming something about pictures. I don't know where Dem was but I think I heard him earlier, chuckling during a hit list or world domination plan. I'm not sure.

Edward could actually catch glimpses of pictures and random, wordless thoughts from the babies. Carlisle was already running tests. They didn't have any venom on their teeth, as of now. He brought in a cup of human blood – basically, to begin learning how it was we were supposed to control them. Surprisingly, neither one had a taste for it. According to Edward, anyways.

Carlisle has a theory (go figure) that because I avoided it before and during my pregnancy, like Edward did, they never acquired any taste or desire for it. Which is great. Secretly, I was thrilled about both the venom and blood situations. Well, it's not a secret; all of us were thrilled about that. The more secretive part was that I had been worrying about one of my children biting one of my best friends. That would totally stink.

Alice knocked on the door. Again.

"Go away Alice."

"I want to meet her." Okay, obviously Carlisle hadn't given them any more information on us than he had given us about Nico. Good.

"You mean you want to meet them?"

"WHAT!?!"

I chuckled at her response, "Go get Marcus and the rest of the Cullens -then you all may come in and we'll talk."

She didn't even bother to respond before she took off to find my father and siblings and retrieve them. It took only seconds before she was back at my door and knocking again. Edward let them in and we all began to converse. I swear, if Marcus could have cried he would have. He looked as if he were in complete awe of his grandchildren. He should be. They're beautiful.

"So what are their names?" Alice asked, while bouncing up and down with Jasper – who, I'm sure, just couldn't control Alice at the moment. Bouncing wasn't really his style.

"Well, our daughter," Edward smiled when he said those words, "We have already named. As far as our son, I'm not sure if Bella has thought of a name or not."

I nodded eagerly. "Actually, I have. I was thinking," I hesitated – it's quite the unusual name, "Jace Charles Volturi Cullen?" Edward nodded in approval. I think that's what it was. "And as for our beautiful daughter, we have already agreed on the name. Elizabeth Esmee Didyme Cullen."

Alice, Esme, and Jazz were on the brink of tears themselves – along with Marcus, who was even more worked up than before - while Edward and the rest of the Cullens thought about the names.

"What does Jace mean?" Edward and Rose asked at the same time. That had been an eventful day so I guess they probably didn't catch on.

"Jace is a combination of Alice and Jasper's names that we came up with for one of our school days. I thought it was beautiful – and I thought our son should have a namesake from his godparents." I mumbled the last part, hoping that would be okay with, well, everyone.

It was. Alice and Jasper were ecstatic. Marcus was still sobbing joy. I must say, it was weird, to say the least, to see him like this. Carlisle and Esme were overjoyed, as to be expected. I still had more to talk about though.

"Edward, could you let me talk to Rose, Emmett, and Carlisle alone? Please?" I had already explained to why I would want this time alone with them, so he just nodded and followed the others out of the room.

"Hey guys," I waved timidly. "I wanted to explain about the names-"

Carlisle interrupted me, "No need. They both have my name with them. I understand completely, Bella." He smiled at me. He would understand.

"Okay, thank you." I turned to Rose and Emmett, "It was very important to me to name them after Elizabeth and Charlie. They were both the parents we hardly knew. I hope you guys understand that. I have no intentions of leaving you out," I smiled, "I would love it if you two would be Elizabeth's godparents. I know they won't have godparents in the traditional sense, but I was hoping to count on you to help her through life – you know, when we couldn't. Rosalie, you would be able to teach her to be strong, confident, and fierce. To hold her head high when everyone else thinks she should bow down. Everyone knows, with her insecure parents, she'll need that." Rose giggled at that. "Emmett, you make the best out of life no matter what. You can lighten any situation and you tend to bring out the good in people. You are both fiercely protective of your family and have such strong personalities; I would be honored if you would do this for me. "

They both nodded through the sobs and Carlisle looked immensely proud. They each hugged me before they left. Edward stepped back in the room and told me Nico and her babies would like to see me. Babies. We can't do anything differently can we?

Those two kids were too adorable. Their heart rate sped faster than any human and they too looked identical, with the exception of being one boy and one girl. We had only heard one heartbeat because theirs beat together. In such perfect sync, we couldn't even distinguish the difference.

They both had chocolate pools in their eyes that matched what Nico and I once had. They didn't like formula either – according to Edward they actually thought 'ick'. They weren't human by any means. They were definitely wolfpires. Growing at the same rate as mine, it seemed. The only true difference was the heartbeat.

The single heartbeat shared by William Phillip Volturi Black and Jalie Renee Volturi Black.


	37. To the Batmobile!

**It's not much, and it's basically just a silly chapter that serves no purpose. But I just had a taste of Volterra craziness pop into my head. **

**So.. The story will continue, I will update as often as possible ... as long as I can maintain the spirit of the story. Because it's all about fun, really. And if I am in the mood to chain-smoke and scream at my neighbors, it will not benefit the story. So I won't be writing then. I'm trying to continue, but I will not just type mechanically. If it is too difficult to write, it doesn't belong in this story. This story is about random insanity and I have every intention of keeping it that way. **

**So, enjoy. I'll be writing more, I promise.**

**Much love to all of you for your ideas, support, encouragement, and um... demanding natures. **

**Twilam rocks, as usual. This Chapter is dedicated to twilam. Because of the awesomeness. **

**And to teamswitz09, because having someone go through my story and review every single chapter (practically) after I've had it on hold for so long really renewed the story for me. So, thanks for that. **

**As usual, each and every one of you is awesome. I love the reviews you guys send me. It makes me sad when I don't see many reviews in Fight For Me. But, I have to keep reminding myself to be patient because this story is on Chapter 37 now and it's on Chapter 5. So, if you haven't checked it out - please do so. It isn't as light hearted as this one by any means. Still, Yeah, I'll shut up, sorry, read away, I love you all. **

**Um, no el owno el twilighto.**

**Review, all 94 + 72 of you. **

* * *

"SERIOUSLY, EDWARD! STOP!" I managed to giggle out through the tickle fest my husband to be was torturing me with. We had managed to sneak away while Esme was with the babies, of course, had I known this was coming – we wouldn't have. I'd had, er, other things in mind.

Suddenly, Edward cried out and the tickling ceased. Never one to miss an opportunity, I threw him on his back, sat on top of him, and pinned him down.

"Thanks, Jane. You can stop now." I heard a giggle from one of the connecting hallways and a few brief footsteps before we were alone again.

"Never mess with me, Edward Cullen." I chuckled, "You forget – I am straight gangster homie, and this is my turf." He rolled his eyes at my awful impersonation.

"Yes, Master gangstress, ma'am." Then he coughed out, "Cheater."

I raised an eyebrow, "Cheater? If I were a cheater you would've lost a long time ago, lovey." I said the last word with immense sarcasm – fighting off my laughter about the ridiculousness of our conversation.

"Ha! You said it out loud!" Shit.

"Prove it, Cullen." Another eye roll – totally symbolizing defeat.

"Yeah, Cullen." A manly voice attempting to be a girly voice mimicked me in the background.

"The enemy surrendered, D. Tell the troops to retreat." I giggled. I saw Demetri smirk out of the corner of my eye.

"NEVER SURRENDER!" Came out of the mouth of Edward, directly before he flipped me over and had me pinned – Bella style.

"That's my move, sweetheart. Not fair." I tried my best to pout and wipe the look of evil off my face. It didn't work – Edward looked both amused and terrified. Good, he should be.

_Oh, Demmmmeeetttrrriiii_

_Yes, Bella-ella?_

_Show him what happens when you mess with your baby sister, please? _I threw in a mental pout, just for fun. Quickly, Edward was flung down the hall and I regained my stance, smirking a little at my second victory of the day. Well, Jane and Demetri's second of the day – but I am so calling it mine.

"Don't mess with my sister, punk." It took extreme effort not to laugh at Demetri's impersonation of a macho man. Charlie would have been proud; Edward had a total what-the-hell-??- look on his face. I turned to Demetri and mock saluted, military style.

"Thank you, Soldier. You're bravery will be rewarded." He saluted back, ready to respond before we were so rudely interrupted.

"No, no, no, NO! You are doing it all wrong, Bella. You too, Demetri." A fourth voice announced as he approached. I huffed in annoyance before spinning around.

"Tell me, oh Colonel Whitlock, how do I do it?"

"First – I wasn't a Colonel. Second – Your fingers are curving, you can't do that, your angle is all wrong, and you aren't even positioning your fingertips correctly! They go here," He moved them off my forehead, closer to my eyebrows. "Push your elbow back, straighten out your hand." I was learning diligently the correct way to salute, but apparently Dem had another idea.

"Right. Sorry to interrupt your lesson plan, Colonel Whitlock, but I was sent in search of the lovebirds in hiding for a reason. Your –"

"Really? I found them, no problem. It was ridiculously easy, actually. Why do they keep you around anyways?" Jasper cut him off and I heard Edward snickering in the background.

"So it's easier for little sister here to stalk you guys." He shot back, nodding his head towards me. I rolled my eyes and fought off a smile – because it was so true. "Anyways, your kids keep chewing through the bottles and someone needs to run into town and pick some up. We figured you two should go – unless, you're too busy with the tickling war?"

"Nope," I said, "We'll go. But I get shotgun!" I screamed in mock excitement.

"Love, you realize we're the only two going right?" Edward eyed me skeptically.

"Yes." Duh, I'm not an idiot here.

"So –"

"Edward, when will you learn to quit questioning my actions?" I giggled.

"Probably never."

"Well, it's going to suck for you then. Most of the time, there is no reason at all. Like this time."

"Oh." He said, so cleverly. "Well, let's go get our 'uniforms'"

"No need, I brought them for you. Like the good soldier I am." Demetri smirked and saluted again – and judging by the look of frustration on Jasper's face, it was still wrong.

"Thanks, Dem. Is that all that's needed?"

"Yes, that's all us vampires will be needing from the human store, Colonel." He rolled his eyes.

"Sweet! I'm a Colonel now?" He nodded. "Go Bella!" I shouted before turning to Edward, "To the batmobile, Robin." He lifted one eyebrow at me and I rolled my eyes, "Hurry along, we don't have all day – make me wait to long and I'll actually make you wear the costume."

"You have costumes?" Jasper asked.

"Volturi, duh. I have everything." I gave him a you-should-have-known-that-you-idiot glare and he shrugged.

"Wait, why do I have to be Robin?" Edward piped in.

"Because I doubt you want to stay here while Demetri goes as Robin."

"I can't be Batman?" He asked, and I, along with Dem, faked a look of complete horror.

"Never ask that! I am Batman, always. It never changes. You can be Catwoman."

"Hey!" Demetri interrupted, and I chuckled.

"Okay- you might have to clear the Catwoman thing with Dem – it's kind of already his."

"Well, what about Nico? Who is she?" Jazz asked. Seriously, he had way too much to learn about what really goes on in Volterra.

"She is just awesome. She doesn't need a name, silly." I rolled my eyes, "If she decides in good spirit to use an alias, you may refer to her as Superman. But 'Your Awesomeness' will generally suffice when she isn't in the mood for Superman." Demetri chuckled while the other two rolled their eyes. Only Demetri knew exactly how serious Nico and I got about our games. He only really understood because he was always just as involved as we were – when he was around. He was our right hand man. Or right hand Catwoman, anyways.

"Colonel Whitlock, Lt. Volturi." I commanded in the most authoritative voice I could muster given today's mood. They both snapped to attention and saluted. Looking at the difference I could completely tell that Jasper knew exactly what he was doing and Demetri didn't have a clue. Because Demetri's salute sucked. "At ease." I said, fighting off giggles, "You must save Jake – I don't think he's been around Nico in a mood like this before. And if I'm in this mood, then – most likely - so is she." Demetri's eyes got a little wide and Jasper got confused. "RUN! Volturi, explain to Whitlock along the way." They both saluted and took off down the hallway. As we began down the opposite direction, I turned to Edward - who was looking at me with a million questions. "Don't ask, you'll see the damage when we get back – I'm sure. Nico doesn't have the control I do…" The questions apparent on his face didn't go away. "We take our games very seriously here in Volterra. Told you we weren't the bad guys. Nico, Dem, and I are very much brother and sisters… We are a family, beneath everything else." I stuck out my tongue at him, just to be the immature child that I am. He rolled his eyes as we approached the car and he opened the door for me before crawling into the driver's seat himself.

"Alright, partner, our first mission. Are you prepared?" I said in my very best (but still awful) undercover-agent-voice. Edward rolled his eyes and mumbled, "Yeah," under his breath. One day, Edward will be fun. If it's the last thing I do.


	38. He'd Take A Bullet For Me

**Hello. **

**Don't forget to check out the prequals if you haven't already.**

**'CrazymeadowBella'**

**and**

**'That Could Come in Handy'**

**Also, 'Alice's shopping song' is up for review. **

**Review, for me, please?**

* * *

I stormed through the halls, cloak swirling around me – for dramatic effect. I was furious. Edward was following closely behind me, staying far enough back so that he wouldn't piss me off more than he already had. Walls were shaking through my temper tantrum and I was close to having a Nico moment, losing the control I typically had. Renata saw me. And ran. Fast. She took off down some hall that leads, if I remember correctly, to an empty work-out room. Empty because no one would be in it, duh. It was one of those things that existed here for absolutely no reason. I stormed past Jane who ducked slightly and gave Edward a what-the-hell-did-you-do-now look. I was probably being even more immature than usual, a little too dramatic and extreme. I didn't care. I was pissed. So pissed that I wasn't watching were I was going and walked slam dunk into Marcus.

"What wrong now, daughter." He chuckled. With anyone else – that laughter would have made me even angrier, but with him… well I just couldn't.

"Edward's trying to tell me what to do!" I vented and he gave a worried look towards Edward.

"Oh, hell. Edward, why?" He rolled his eyes as he was talking, dropping all formalities for the moment. He really couldn't stand it when I was this mad – he especially got annoyed with whoever caused it.

"She wanted to blow up the clerk at the store!" He said, getting defensive.

"No, I wanted to blow up the entire store." I said through clenched teeth. "He seems to think he had a right to stop me, even though it was completely his fault!"

"Was not," He muttered under his breath.

"How exactly did he manage stop you, Isabella?" Marcus question – of course he would wonder that. Shit.

"…. He distracted me." I said, looking up at the ceiling. Marcus cast a questioning glare towards Edward.

"In public?" He lifted one eyebrow skeptically.

"Irrelevant, father. He shouldn't try to control me! I can't stand that!"

"Right, right. Well, what did he do to make you want to blow up the clerk, and the rest of the store?"

"The woman was having thoughts that Bella didn't approve of." Edward said as he rolled his eyes.

"So, little sister, you're mad because some woman thought your man was do-able, and he molested you right in front of her in order to stop you and set her thoughts straight?" Demetri summarized as he lazily strolled up, looking entirely too amused.

"Oh, it didn't stop her, it encouraged her. That's when he dragged me out of the store."

"Well," Demetri said, dropping any trace of humor and turning serious, "I hope you didn't go down without a fight – I taught you better than that." Marcus chuckled and shook his head – because Demetri picked all of the wrong things to be serious about.

"I fought plenty, Dem. I promise. Um… There's a stoplight about three blocks north that needs to be replaced by morning…Daddy, could you handle that?" Marcus nodded and I could see a bit of a smile as he walked off.

"You two love-birds need to cut your shit. Take your kids their bottles, and then I have a small surprise for you." Sluttyquasibrothersaywhat?

"Look, Demetri, if it's in your pants – I don't want it. Hey, what happened earlier with Nico and Jake?" I asked, slightly scared of the answer. He shifted his eyes away and then back towards me, a slight grin appearing on his face.

"Well, I had to explain to Jake what exactly Nico meant when she wanted to play war, and Jasper had to carefully remind Nico that bullet's could, and would, actually hurt Jake… regardless of the Power Rangers costume she had him in."

I sighed, "Did she have him in the pink one?" Dem nodded, I giggled. "He'll learn, one day." I cast an evil glance towards Edward, "They both will."

"Take it easy on him, hooker. It's not his fault he's a fine piece of manpire meat." I chuckled and shook my head.

"You know, D, Heidi is going to be awfully upset when you start admitting to your swing flying both ways." He rolled his eyes and placed a mock panic lock on his face.

"Our. Secret. Isabella!" We shook our heads together, mumbling something about everyone regretting Felix before we fell to the ground laughing. Edward's face was priceless. He looked confused, really confused.

"Chill out, Edwardo, they're just kidding." Nico said as she strolled up. "I'm the only idiot in this hallway who's made that mistake." She glanced at Dem, "So far." She smirked.

"Hey, now. My swing goes round and round in one direction, people."

Edward still had a semi shocked look on his face, "How do you do that?" He asked Demetri, who looked ridiculously confused.

"What?"

"Calm her down."

"Oh. That. It's because I'm the shiznit. And I'm not the one who pissed her off. She's not fragile, Edward. She thinks shit through a lot more than most people around here." He cast a side glance towards Nico, who rolled her eyes but nodded to agree. "So – yeah, she probably would've blown that shit up – but she would've covered her tracks. She never asked for updates on you guys, you know, so she has now idea how much you sulked like a woman all that time. So – yeah. Besides, whatever sluttyhumanclerk thought to make Bella this possessive was probably dirty… So I'd do it too. So would you. Don't think I've forgotten crazy-possessive-don't-look-at-your-sister-naked-Edward." Edward just nodded along to Dem's reprimands. "A piece of advice though, Eddie" Edward winced at the nickname, "N.e.v.e.r. tell her what to do. Ever. She is the most irritatingly stubborn woman I have ever met. She'll still do it, and you see what happens when you try to stop her." He chuckled.

Edward looked astonished at Demetri's blunt honesty. I spoke up, "In all honesty, this is how he does it. He calls me his sister, but I could just as easily be his brother. Everyone knows I could kick his ass blindfolded if I wanted to." Demetri sighed and looked up towards the ceiling, refusing to admit to what was so obviously the truth. "So he knows I'm not fragile, and he knows I'm not stupid. I pretty much do what I want, and that won't be changing anytime soon. Besides, he makes things funny. We could be in the middle of world war three and this man would take a bullet for me, unnecessarily, just for comic relief. He's just … Demetri like that. And you're Edward, and I love you for that, but you get jealous too… I just get more" I paused, searching for a word, "enthusiastic about my jealousy."

Edward looked at me with disbelief, "You're insane." I nodded and he chuckled before turning to Dem, "So you'd take a bullet for her, huh?"

"Actually, he did once. There was some sort of shootout at a club we went to and he hopped in front of a bullet 'for me'" I giggled, "then we had to come up with an elaborate plan to get out of there… Marcus had to send an 'ambulance' and we had to put ketchup on his shirt."

"And smell it the whole way back." Nico wrinkled her nose.

"I thought we'd never hear the end of that." Dem muttered before looking at Edward and I, "Kids. Bottles."

"Right." I remembered the plastic bag in Edward's hand and we took off together, towards our children, with Mommy in a much better mood.


	39. Demetri & His Ridiculous Smart Moments

**For my stupid ego, I would really like 300 reviews.**

**No, no threats. Just a pretty please. **

**Because I've had the worst week ever. I've been two hours late to work, twice. Argued with my husband over some very trivial things. Had nosy neighbors interfering with my life - sincerely making me wish I could honestly get Bella and Nico where here to blow shit up for me. Oh, and I can't forget the chickenpox scare that involved my two year old. **

**All in less than 72 hours, so please. **

**I'm not the kind of person who threatens to quit writing over reviews. So, I'll keep writing. Duh. I am slightly insecure though and reviews make me feel ultra happy. So, like I said, no threats. **

**But pleeeeaaaasssseeeeeee.**

**Oh, pay special attention to the a/n at the botttom. **

**& Check out twilam's story - 'It's complicated.' **

**Because it rocks my socks. And review it. Because those things make everyone happy.**

**I'll shut up now.**

* * *

Demetri had locked himself away in his study for two days now, working furiously on some secret project. He had asked Nico and I to keep him blocked from Edward and Aro, and to stay out of his head. We did for the first day and a half, but then Nico cheated. When we found out what the master project we had been blindly helping with was - we wanted to kill him. Well, not permanently, just rip his head off so he could suffer the pain of reattachment. We also wanted to fall to the floor laughing. The only problem with either of those wants was the fact that, at the time, we both had two one week old babies on our hips, one week old babies that looked - and weighed - like toddlers. Edward and the remainder of the Cullen's, save Emmett and Rosalie, were out hunting. Jacob had went back with the pack for a week or so, to help with a problem at the rez.

So there we stood, two very, very angry mothers. Ready to choke the uncle but restrained by the kids.

My life had taken a complete one-eighty in a matter of months.

So, we carried the twin-twins over to their play area and marched up to Demetri, in sync - like we always do when you piss both of us off equally. He was in trouble, and he knew it.

"Wait! Chill out bitches, it'll be fun. I already know the right answers- it's not like I need your help or anything. Besides, we need to teach those men of yours how to behave and quit pissing you two off. Shit, my car is way too close for that. Seriously." The man had a point, they did need to stop pissing us off. The problem was, they really didn't know any better.

Damn Demetri and his unexpected moments of making sense. He was way to much like Emmett sometimes. Emm had a stupid thing like that going too - he always made sense at the weirdest of times, when you most definitely wouldn't expect it. Like when he showed up the other day - shockingly enough, he had his pants on - to tell us about a theory he had.

Yes, Emmett had a theory.

He thought that maybe it was like a one-shot deal. One pregnancy, X number of kiddos, and you're done. The number would be determined per couple. I hoped he was right, I mean, my kids rock - but I don't want anymore.

"Think it will help?" Nico asked, after cursing Dem in her mind for his stupid brilliance.

"If I didn't, would I have done it?" He asked, we both raised our eyebrows at him. Yes, he still would have done it. "Whatever. Yes, I think it will help. Dorkwad A and Dorkwad B. Just keep me blocked long enough to hand them out. Everyone should be back soon enough - give me until midnight."

"I get to be B!" I shouted, beating Nico to the punch.

"No fair! You got to be Twin 2 at school!" She yelled back.

I snorted, "Yeah, because that lasted so long."

"I am Dorkwad B, Bella-ella! Please?" She whined, giving me the puppy dog face. I have no clue why I couldn't resist it - mine looked exactly the same, and she had no problem resisting mine.

I huffed, "Fine." Before grabbing the twins and storming off to my room.

"BELLA!" Demetri called out. I spun around, furious at him for ruining my dramatic exit.

"WHAT?"

"Wrong twins."

"Shit."

"Swit!" A tiny, masculine voice attempted to repeat me. Along with a tiny, feminine voice. I looked down at the kids in disbelief. "Auntie Ella say swit!" They said together. Demetri was laughing and Nico was looking ready to kill. Shit.

"Billy, Jalie, you repeat that word one more time and I will rinse your mouths out with formula!" Nico threatened and they snapped their heads towards her.

"Sowwy Mamma" They announced while giving a perfectly replicated Bella/Nico pout.

"So, uh, Nico. When did your kids learn to talk?" I asked, hoping she didn't blow anything up with the glare she was giving me.

"Just now." And Demetri lost it. He fell to the floor laughing mumbling nonsense about first words and swit. Bastard.

I apologized and swapped out the twins I was carrying for the two without heartbeats before retreating to their room. It was already eleven and Edward should be back within the hour.

"Mamma, why Auntie Eco yelling?" Came out of the twins' mouths simultaneously. I froze. "Mamma?"

"Because Mommy said a bad word. It's time for sleep, let's lay down." I said as I tucked them into their beds. I hummed to them quietly as they fell asleep, and they were out within ten minutes. I slipped off towards my room to change in to something more comfortable for Edward's arrival. Actually, much less comfortable. Whatever. Something slutty.

Unfortunately, I ran into him on my way - and he looked less than pleased.

"What the hell is this?" He asked, flashing me the papers. I cracked up a little bit but realized he was finding no humor in Dem's project at the moment.

"That is what Demetri has been working on for two days." He raised an eyebrow at me, "What? We didn't know until, like, thirty minutes ago! Besides… it's funny." He was glaring.

"Not really, Bella. It's slightly frustrating. An application, Bella?? For what?"

"I really don't know the specifics, Edward. Just fill it out - he won't leave you alone until you do."

He huffed off towards the bedroom. I followed him, sending Demetri evil thoughts for making me deal with this tonight - I clearly had other plans.

* * *

**THE BELLA/NICO APPLICATION**

PLEASE FILL OUT A SEPARATE APPLICATION FOR EACH TWIN.

PLEASE RETURN TO DEMETRI VOLTURI WHEN FINISHED, AS I WILL BE THE ONE TO ASSESS THE ANSWERS AND MAINTAIN THE RECORDS. YOU HAVE TWENTY FOUR HOURS TO COMPLETE THIS APPLICATION, AFTER WHICH YOU WILL BE CONSIDERED NONEXISTANT TO ME AND WILL RECEIVE NO FURTHER RECOGNITION. EXCEPT FOR WHEN I QUESTION YOU ABOUT YOUR FAILURE TO COMPLETE THE APPLICATION.

EVERY HOUR

ON THE HOUR

EVERY DAY OF EVERY WEEK

EVERY WEEK OF THE YEAR

EVERY YEAR OF THE DECADE

EVERY DECADE OF THE CENTURY

AND SO ON.

IF YOU DON'T THINK I WILL DO IT, CHECK YOUR SOURCES AGAIN. I WILL.

TWIN:

APPLICANT NAME:

APPLICANT AGE:

APPLICANT LOCATION:

DOES APPLICANT HOLD A POSITION OF POWER ANYWHERE:

WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS WITH MY SISTER:

CAN YOU PROVIDE FOR MY SISTER IN THE APPROPRIATE MANNER:

HAVE YOU DONE MY SISTER:

MORE THAN ONCE?:

PLEASE TAKE THE FOLLOWING SURVEY SO THAT I MAY ASSESS THE EXTENT OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE TOWARDS THE TWINS.

1. SHE IS SHOPPING WITH TWIN (AND ALICE), THE HUMAN ENVIRONMENT IS TOO MUCH FOR YOU TO HANDLE AND YOU NEED TO HUNT IMMEDIATELY. YOU  
A) SUGGEST THAT EVERYONE LEAVE TO GO HUNT  
B) EXPLAIN TO HER THAT YOU HAVE TO LEAVE TO HUNT, AND TELL HER TO ENJOY HER SHOPPING  
C)SUCK IT UP AND DEAL WITH IT. LIFE ISN'T ABOUT YOU.

2. SHE IS VERY, VERY ANGRY WITH YOU. YOU…  
A) EXPLAIN YOURSELF  
B) HIDE  
C) DRESS UP AS CINDERALLA AND SERENADE HER WITH YOUR WORST IMPERSONATION  
D) TELL MARCUS TO PROTECT YOU

3. SHE DOES SOMETHING TO AGGRAVATE YOU IMMENSELY. YOU…  
A) YELL  
B) TELL HER HOW SHE HURT YOUR FEELINGS LIKE A PANSY  
C) DO HER  
D) APOLOGIZE AND BUY HER DIAMONDS BEFORE SHE CAN EVEN GET MAD AT YOU FOR BEING MAD AT HER (WHICH SHE WILL)

4. I DO SOMETHING STUPID THAT HEIDI WOULDN'T LIKE. YOU FIND OUT BEFORE ANYONE ELSE. YOU…  
A) WARN ME, BUT KEEP QUIET.  
B) TELL HEIDI, IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO.  
C) ASK HER FIRST. BECAUSE YOU NEVER, EVER DO ANYTHING WITHOUT HER OPINION.

5. HER FAVORITE MOVIE IS ______________________

6. HER FAVORITE BOOK IS ______________________

7. HER FAVORITE BROTHER IS ______________________

8. YOU'RE MEAN TO ALICE OR JANE. SHE FINDS OUT AND IS READY TO CASTRATE/DETIT YOU. YOU…  
A) HIDE (AGAIN)  
B) APOLOGIZE  
C) I WOULD NEVER DO THAT, JANE AND ALICE ARE SCARY  
D) DENY IT LIKE NICO DENIES FELIX.

9. FELIX IS AFTER NICO… AGAIN. YOU… (IF YOU ARE FILLING THIS APPLICATION ABOUT BELLA, PLEASE DISREGARD THIS QUESTION UNTIL YOUR NICO ONE)  
A) LAUGH AT HER FOR THE FIRST FEW DAYS, THEN SCARE FELIX SHITLESS  
B) PROTECT HER FROM THE EVIL IN FELIX'S PANTS  
C) LAUGH AT HER UNTIL SHE BLOWS SOMETHING UP

I WILL SCORE THIS SURVEY AND ASSES YOUR QUALIFICATIONS UPON RECIEPT. YOU WILL BE NOTIFIED OF YOUR RESULTS WITHIN ONE MONTH.

* * *

**Alright, so here's my idea. I want you guys to come up with the answers for these. Smart ass comments are very much welcome. **

**The best one's for Jake and Eddie will be posted within the story. Possibly other characters if the plot line calls for it. I'm not against Bella having one for Nico or vise versa, either. **

**Obviously, there can only be one response for each Edward and Jake within the actual story. I have thoughts about posting a seperate story with the awesome replies, depending on how many replies there are. **

**p.m it to me please, reviews would make it too easy for everyone. **

**I know that this little game is probably lame, but so am i, whatever.**


	40. IT'S BEEN MILLENNIA FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

**So. It's a shortie. Just a little funny junk and a hint at what exactly Alice meant when she denied a certain date for Bella's wedding.**

****

If anyone remembers that far back.

Oh, and I'm still shooting for 300

We're at 258 people. We can do it! WHOO!

* * *

"So where is your loving baby daddy?" I asked Nico as we lounged in the pool. Jake had came in the previous day and been bombarded with Demetri's stupidity.

"Off filling out that stupid 'application' of Demetri's" She chuckled, "And yours?"

"I believe he is hiding from Demetri. Something about - hell, I don't know, I wasn't listening." I moaned. I seemed to be bad about not hearing things when Edward started rambling about Demetri. Which was often. I could totally picture the fight that would inevitably take place. Dem would do something idiotic to provoke him. Maybe, call me his bitch - or slap the wrong place when I walked by. Then Edward would flip and Dem would laugh throughout the entire fight until Edward was pinned to the ground, laughing with him. Because that is most definitely how it would end. Edward's a good fighter - but he isn't Volturi trained. Then again, Dem hasn't been training for a while.

So, who knows how it would end? Regardless, in my mind one will have the other pinned and they'll both be laughing. Because that's how I want it to end and Isabella Volturi always gets her way.

"Why is he hiding from Demetri?_ That's _a bit pointless don't you think?" She pointed out, like I hadn't realized that already.

"Well, no one ever claimed Edward to be the brightest crayon in the box. Well, except his high school teachers, anyways." I grunted, "Besides, I thought of it so I'm shielding everyone. Just to screw with Demetri." I giggled. I heard once that when you speak of the devil, he shall appear. Sure enough, Dem came strolling up with a sickly sweet smile plastered on his face.

"Well, my my my, don't my two beautiful sisters just look ready for a stage and a pole today?" He said with his big, doofy grin. And yes, that is a compliment.

"Bring it on, brother." Nico remarked. He chuckled.

"Don't play with me, sister. You should be well informed at this point that my room is indeed equipped for such entertainment." He said, smirking. Thinking he had the upper hand; when clearly, he should know better. I heard the explosion slightly in the distance and saw Dem's face cover with panic before turning to a look of annoyance. He rolled his eyes at Nico and she stuck her tongue out back at him.

"Not anymore, fool." She said in her gangster voice. Which, by the way, is worse than mine.

"Right. Look, 'G' - have you seen your soon to be brother in law? Bastard hasn't turned his application in yet."

"Go easy on him, Demetri. You take some getting used to, and he's not one for authority." I giggled.

"The. Application. Clearly. Said. Twenty. Four. Hours." He said through clenched teeth. Apparently, he's taking this much more seriously than we are. I sighed.

"Fine, I'll drop it for a second… if he asks, you tickled out of me. Got it?" I said sternly. Demetri placed a victorious grin on his face and took off.

"Idiot." Nico mumbled.

"Who? Demetri or Edward?" I questioned.

"Both. For one - Edward shouldn't count on you to shield him from Dem over something so trivial - everyone knows he'll just annoy the information out of you anyways. For two - you're only going to drop everyone else except Edward, anyways. Aren't you? Then release it later when Dem actually does tickle you?" Twin knows me too well.

I shrugged, "I'm always game for a good tickle."

"I love to tickle!" A new voice sang out. I turned my head to see Jane walking out with a glass in her hand. A martini glass that certainly had some sort of martini contraction in it.

"Yeah, with pain." Nico remarked.

"Jane, really? A Martini? Do you feel like adding to the burn today? And where the hell did you even get a glass? Not to mention the liquor." I eyed her skeptically. I will never figure out what her obsession with human nourishment is. Ever. I mean, some of it is pretty. But it all smells rotten. Especially the liquor.

"Dramatic effect," She shrugged, "and I got it from the receptionist."

"The receptionist gave you well aged, top-shelf liquor? That sounds like an awfully nice thing to do for someone who won't even drink it." Nico stated. I'm not quite sure how she is able to pinpoint the quality of a liquor by it's scent alone. It makes me think that maybe Renee and Phil weren't the best parents…

"I might owe her a small favor." Jane said sheepishly.

"How small?" Nico asked.

"And are we going to have to cover it up?" I continued.

"Maybe. You won't have to cover it up. Maybe help." She said, slightly cryptically. In an I-know-something-you-don't-know voice.

"What's the deal, Jane?"

"She sort of has a thing for Marcus." Jane grinned. Well, that's different. I was used to receptionists going after Aro in their chase for immortality, but not Marcus.

"Well, fat chance on that one, Jane. You should know better than that already."

"Actually, that's not what Edwardo told me." She teased.

"WHAT?!" Nico and I screamed, as we hopped out of the pool simultaneously. "Tell us more."

She grinned her wicked grin before continuing. "It seems… You're 'Daddy' thinks she is quite enticing. They've only actually met a handful of times, but the thoughts running through his head last time they met seemed to be on the same page as hers. According to Edwardo, anyways. I mean, it's about time. It's been millennia for crying out loud!" She screamed, throwing her hands in the air. She continued to ramble on about something but Nico and I had already taken off.

To find Edward.

And then Marcus.

And try to confirm this bullshit.


	41. Youknowspies, bunchofbitchylittlegirls

Okay, sorry it took so long. Lola pissed me off with the non constructive critisism. Even though I know it's not as bad as she says, because she reviewed on ch 40, hinting that she read through chapter forty. So whatever.

Besides, this was never meant to be literary art. Or in Canon. More like, cracktastic. Because I'm crazy and enjoy putting this random shit down for other people to read.

FYI: After the asterisks is a 3rd person pov. I don't generally switch pov, and I definitely don't do third person usually. It was necessary for the guys meeting. Edward knows everything in advance, I don't want to be in Dem's dirty mind (unless he actually IS Johnny Depp, which he is, in my head), and (my) Jake's brain wouldn't have a clue to what was going on. More explanation in bottom a/n - as to not give anything away. Definitely a cracktastic chapter.

Totally out of canon.

So, please don't get your panties in a wad. Like some people. Sorry for the pettiness.

* * *

"EDWARD!" I yelled at the same time as Nico, "Is it true?" He stared at us and lifted an eyebrow, assumingly wondering why we were so excited. He placed his finger over his lip and motioned for us to be silent as we approached. We glided towards him, as quietly as possible, before he motioned for us to stop and pay attention to the secretary. She was actually very pretty, in a simplistic kind of way, she had shoulder length rich, red hair and soft, slightly tanned skin. I could see an almost fluorescent green dancing in her eyes, and a soft flush that appeared to never really go away. Her thoughts were honest, a true attraction towards my father. They definitely didn't betray a hidden motive. No, this woman was very much in almost love with Marcus already, and they rarely met!

"Her name is Kaliea. She was born and raised in Italy, though her parents weren't. Her parents have both passed, and she has no family to speak of. Her thoughts have been swarming around him all day. I do believe it is all she thinks about." He whispered to us. I was forced to get over the shock fast about Edward willingly playing matchmaker, because Nico couldn't stand still for five seconds.

_We're going to have to do something about this, Twin._

_We have time. I wanted to spend some time with Edward. _

_Oh, I know. But you're not going to, so let's go find Daddy and see if he honestly has it for her like Eddie says._

_His name is Edward, Twin. _

_Whatever. Come on. _She grabbed my arm and began to drag me away. I looked to Edward for help, but he was just grinning with amusement. So I shot him a totally gangster death glare.

"Cullen, come on." I heard Demetri's voice boom over the sounds of my internal whining and looked over. He was standing there, glaring at Edward, with a stack of papers in his hand. "It's time." He said, in an attempted cryptic voice that made me laugh out loud. Now that Edward was going to be detained for a while, I had absolutely no problem barging into my father's love life.

We stormed through the halls until we reached the back room where Marcus, Aro, and Caius were all sitting around, doing absolutely nothing, and trying to look important. I rolled my eyes before speaking up.

"DADDY. We need to talk. Now." I commanded, then looking around I noticed that Aro looked quite interested. "Privately." I added.

"Yes, Daddy. Now." Nico reinforced. Marcus sighed and stood up, waving his brothers goodbye as he followed us to a more secluded part of the castle.

"Yes, daughters?" He smile, while warily glancing around the room.

"Do not play innocent with us!" Nico commanded.

"We know that you want Kaliea." I stated.

"Yep." Nico added. "It's all over the castle by now. Jane knows."

"Jane knows?" He questioned, looking a little frightened.

"Ha! So you admit it?" We said together, and a look of realization dawned on his face.

"You didn't know for sure did you?"

"No, and nobody believes anything that comes out of Jane's mouth, anyways. But since you admitted it, what's the hold up?"

"She's human. And an employee."

"And…?" We questioned together.

"It's against the rules." He stated, like it was obvious.

"Um, Daddy. You made the rules. Besides, you really think that Aro and Caius would care? Well, Caius might, but he's a jerk anyways. Aro will be thrilled!" Nico exclaimed.

"And, Daddy, that rule was made for a reason. So a human employee couldn't flirt their way into immortality and then turn on us. She has honest thoughts, we listened"

"So did Edward, he's been monitoring them to make sure." Nico continued.

"And she's so pretty!"

"Alright, girls. Enough. I will talk to your uncles about it before I do anything, but I will consider it." He said. He was fighting a smile. I wasn't sure if it came from our approval, sheer amusement, or the idea that he may actually do something about the first woman he's looked at in thousands of years.

"One favor, Daddy?" Nico asked, already putting on the pout.

"What?" He tried to sound firm, but it was obvious he was giving in already.

"Just talk to Aro. Caius' opinion isn't important when it comes to matters like this." Marcus rolled his eyes.

"I'll think about it. Now, go find something to entertain yourselves. If it ends up being those boys, could you please, for the love of God, keep it down this time?"

Well, this is awkward.

"Yes, Daddy?" How the hell do you respond to a statement like that?

"Besides, the boys are busy being interrogated by Dem at the moment. We really don't have much to d except subject ourselves to Jane." Nico went on, unphased by the comment from Marcus. We said our goodbyes and took off to find something to do. I was slightly worried about Edward but I figured Dem wouldn't do anything too crazy.

I hope.

****

3POV

"Cullen, Black. Sit down." Demetri's voice announced with a commanding tone. He had set up an interrogation room, sort of. A small table sat in the middle of the room with two chairs on one side, and one chair on the other. As soon as they were seated he proceeded to duck tape their hands behind the chairs - as if it would do any good.

"Demetri, what the hell?"

"Shut up, Black. It isn't conversation time yet."

"Why are you using tape on us, Volturi? It is rather pointless." Edward questioned, trying to hide the signs of amusement threatening to expose him as he disposed of the tape immediately.

"_Guns make you stupid. Better to fight your wars with duct tape. Duct tape makes you smart." _Demetri announced with a stern face. Edward immediately began laughing and Jacob looked at them like they were both idiots.

"Care to explain, Cullen? Since I am unfortunately not a freaktastic vampy mind reader?"

Edward shrugged, "You say tomato, I say pimp." Jacob's face got even more skeptical.

"Would you like to explain the fucktastic bageebasiba statements?" He asked as he turned towards Demetri, who completely ignored him and turned towards Edward instead. He held his gaze for a moment, although both of them were struggling with laughter. _"Some times the truth hurts. In these situations, I recommend lying." _Edward nodded.

"What. The. Fuck."

Edward turned towards Demetri, straight faced, and sighed, "_The next time you go 'Chuck Norris' on some guy, don't do it in one of my favorite bars!" _

"Cullen, you don't go to bars." Jacob reminded him. Edward just shrugged and rolled his eyes before looking at Dem again.

"_You know spies, a bunch of bitchy little girls." _Dem shrugged, taking Edward's lead, but using a whiney, innocent voice. "Besides, _if it looks like you're gonna get into a fight that could get you killed...start another one."_

Edward chuckled before retorting back, "_Criminals, as a rule, are paranoid and self-serving."_

"_Don't sprinkle sugar on this bull and call it candy!" _Demetri shouted - then he and Edward began going full speed for a matter of moments.

"_A hitman is like a plumber, a dentist or a mechanic. Everybody is always looking for a good one."_

"_You know you've been in the business too long if you can recognize the sound of a .45 caliber over the phone."_

"_The longer you've been in the game the more you have to be careful about underestimating an opponent."_

"_Corporations need spies just like governments do. Or course, they're not called "spies," they're called security consultants. What they really are of course, is mercenaries."_

"_Would change his identity and disappear to get out of a parking ticket."_

Jacob grew sick of the confusing banter and quickly turned to the best way he knew to diffuse a situation like the one he was in. **"You know those days when you've got the mean reds.... the blues are because you're getting fat or maybe it's been raining too long. You're sad, that's all. But the mean reds are horrible. You're afraid and you sweat like hell, but you don't know what you're afraid of. Except something bad is going to happen, only you don't know what it is." **Edward and Demetri whipped their heads towards him and a slight grin appeared on Demetri's face.

"**What I found does the most good is just to get into a taxi and go to Tiffany's. It calms me down right away, the quietness and the proud look of it; nothing very bad could happen to you there, not with those kind men in their nice suits, and that lovely smell of silver and alligator wallets. If I could find a real-life place that made me feel like Tiffany's, then I'd buy some furniture and give the cat a name." **Demetri said. Edward, always one for the game, continued.

"**Would you reach in the drawer there and give me my purse. A girl doesn't read this sort of thing without her lipstick." **He said, pointing under Jacob's chair.

"Alright, class dismissed. Cullen receives an A-, Black receives a C."

"Why a C?" Jacob asked, looking quite annoyed, "WAIT! ... And what class?"

"Because you didn't participate well, and the class to follow up the surveys. You two are in need of some serious instruction. Jacob, what was the point of today's lesson?"

Jacob threw him a confused look before shrugging his shoulders.

"The point is - you _always_ put on the Cinderella dress. Always." Demetri said before walking off.

* * *

The bold type is the utterly beautiful Audrey (as Holly) in the classic, "Breakfast at Tiffany's" - If you didn't know that, I am ashamed.

The italics are the sexiness that is Jeffrey Donovan, as the sexier Michael Weston, in "Burn Notice" Because I love that show.

Dorkabulous.

And no, Bageebasiba is not a word, and I don't know what it means.


	42. Epilogue Don't Shoot!

**It's the Epilogue.**

**Don't be mad, it's not fair. This story's been over for a while & I've just refused to admit it. So I wrote the epilogue. Be happy. I'll probably post random outtakes so let me know if there's a specific scene, before, during, or after NBT that you wanna see. If I wanna see it too, I might do it. Woo-hoo! Thank you guys so much for all of the laughs you gave me, the support you gave me, and for making me focus on the crap that falls out of my mouth(hands) sometimes. **

**You all have been awesome. **

**Especially twilam, who is like my all-star. **

& Especially:

**Earth-fairy2006**

**Bonham Carter**

**bb1028**

**sweetevie14**

**livsmom**

**drnjm**

**Who for some unknown flippin reason been around since the beginning of the story, reading and reviewing, making me smile and laugh, etc. I don't get why you guys stuck with this cracktacular story. I enjoyed it, sure, a lot actually, but I didn't quite expect anyone else to. So, thanks.**

* * *

He bought me an island. Well, technically, Jacob and Edward (as a team??!?) bought Nico and I an island. Well, obtained us an island. We're not the type to question how exactly they did that. A wonderful little place to glitter all day and raise our little vampire babies. Of course, it was suggested that we include all the other little vampire families so there wasn't any accidental massacres.

We agreed. Why not? We aren't that self-centered. Besides, our babies need baby friends to play with. We also both decided that they shouldn't be forced to hide while growing up. I mean, there'll be plenty of time for that later. It appears they're going to have a very short 'growing up' time frame - they should be able to make the most of it. Granted, Nico and I are well over a century and haven't managed to grow up much at all. Well, hadn't.

For neither of us being exceptionally ready for vamparenthood, we quickly found out that the little squirts are a lot of fun. Once we got out of our post-pregnancy mental states and returned to our typical selves, anyway.

Nico's kids were awesome to the extreme. Jalie was our little ballerina. Yes, as in, our kids actually ended up being different from each other's. (Surprised us too.) She loved to dance all over the castle while we were still there. She even danced through walls occasionally - we're assuming she takes more after mom than dad. She has a temper that matches ours, as well. Of course, her temper couldn't even compare to Will's. Not by a mile. He can throw a fit like no child you have ever seen. He even growled at Edward for quite a bit, but we managed to get him to quit - once we got Jake to stop. His main trait seems to be how protective he is. He is very, very possessive of Jalie. He had a hard time controlling his temper around visitors in the castle - he thought of them as intruders, basically, and wasn't comfortable allowing them around his sister.

Will and Jace have got a great headstart on their bromance, although Jace seems to balance Will out. He's much calmer and he just seems to enjoy... everything. It's his personality. He's protective of Lizzie to an extent, but we're all very much aware that she'd be the first one to throw a punch. She's a fighter. He's a peacemaker.

We're wondering if we got Alice and Jasper's kids by mistake.

Except it doesn't look like Alice and Jazz are having any kids. They don't really want them. According to Alice, they're perfectly content to be the spoiling aunt and uncle. Jasper, as we all know, is bound to agree with Alice.

So, shockingly enough, it looks like Em's theory is playing out. Which is probably why Rose had sextuplets. Turns out, those two were born to be parents. Seeing them with their babies is beyond amazing. Emlie, Emmett Jr, and Izzie are the spitting image of Emmett. Cute, curly, brown hair and mesmerizing dimples. If you ever get the chance to meet them, you just might die when you have to walk away. Now, Kaylie, Kasey, and Karen are mini-Rosalie but improved. No lie. Emmett is going to beating off the little vamp-spawn left and right in just a few short years.

Carlisle and Esme had just one, but they justified it with the fact that they already have about 10. Shelly is the shy one. She's sweet as can be, but sometimes I worry about how well she's going to fair around the insanity that is her cousins.

Marcus and Kaliea got married and did the whole bite and suck and stop procedure. Nobody dared to say shit about the rules, just like we told him they wouldn't. The End for them though, no babies as of yet. The general group theory is that they won't, because of Nico and I, and the involvement of us as his daughters in the entire theory. Or some bullshit like that, if you want to know more, ask Jazz.

Nico and Jake were married at the same time as Edward and I. Same ceremony. It was sweet and far from simple. Overdramatic to say the least. Almost every vampire in existence attended and it was a multi-day affair. That's just life, Volturi style.

Esme and Rose have talked about a school of sorts. Alice has talked about designing said school. Carlisle has talked about a medical center on the island for birthing and such and is working to find a way to ensure Jake gets to stay around a while. Edward and Emmett and Jazz have talked about inventing beer for vampires. Jake has laughed at their ideas while drinking his beer. That's just life, Cullen style.

As for the last three of the pack, they're still there. Naked, usually. Leah, bossy bitch that she is, has taken over Jake's position. Temporarily/Permanently. Eventually, Will should be responsible for that. But, with LaPush being basically under Volturi protection lately, along with Forks, it's more a superficial thing anymore.

My guard is all off doing their separate things. I'm still paying them, of course. They rotate one at a time through Forks. Well, that's the plan. Every school year a new freaky pale senior will start. No plans on what we'll do once the rotation's out.

Caius is still a jerk. But he's usually nice to the babies.

Aro hasn't tried to recruit any of them as of yet, but we're pretty certain he's installed surveillance on the island. That's just Aro.

As for Nico and I, we're not planning to invent, open, build, or anything of the sorts right now. We're enjoying being moms. We spend most of our time out in the woods, playing with the kids, or out on the beach. We're lucky enough to have our kids, each other, our husbands, our families, and this island. We really couldn't ask for more.


End file.
